Sunday, August 31, 2008

Hurricane Gustav

I'm addicted to this blog for CNN and this blog for the Houston Chronicle. I will have a hard time peeling myself away from the computer and the TV tomorrow.

I'm looking at the word "Houston" on the weather map on TV that's showing the movement of the hurricane. It's freaky how close we are to Gustav but it doesn't look like we are going to get hit.

I am praying for God's mercy on everyone who will come into contact with the storm. Be with them, Jesus.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Perfect Friday Night

Curtis came home a tad bit early from work. Jackson, having taken an extraordinarily long time to fall asleep at naptime, was still asleep. I got to have a few minutes with my man before Mister woke up. Curtis made us some nachos to share.

We both snoozed on the couch in the early evening while Jackson played.

Curtis sacrificially let us have dinner at Pei Wei. (He doesn't like Chinese and since my parents decided to hate Pei Wei because every dish tastes the same, I have been missing it!) Jackson ate like a champ - couldn't get enough ginger chicken with broccoli. That meant we had a very pleasant, easy dinner.

There was a Cinnabon/Carvel store in the same shopping center. I convinced Curt that we should go see what it was like. He and I ended up sharing a cinnamon roll. I cut it down the middle to be sure it was fair. His half ended up being a little bigger but I got most of the center piece. I think that was fair. Jackson, who has yet to be given one of the "ice cream treats" (Dibs) I've promised him if he poops on the potty, got to have a little cup of ice cream. He loved, loved, loved it. It's a sweet thing to see your kid enjoy something so much. Makes you want to give them the world.

As soon as we got home, Jackson happily asked to go to bed.

Perfect night. Great day ahead.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Figuring Stuff Out

I am still alive, but barely. If I die, will you bury me in a Lightning McQueen pull up? Potty training. I don't even want to talk about it tonight. Help me, Lord Jesus. Jackson has had a lot to deal with this week with potty training and also being in a new MDO class. I think it might have been bad timing. So...MDO. The first day was on Tuesday. My hair had not been washed in several days and was looking like the water around the Houston Ship Channel. Gross. But it takes me forever to get ready, so I put on a ball cap and some workout clothes and took my child to his first day of school. I would do my grooming later. He looked cute, of course. When I got there I quickly realized that every other mom had dressed herself for the first day of school. I was truly amazed. I started thinking that maybe I should buy a new outfit to pick him up in. Kidding. But I did have to repeat the phrase, "No one knows me. I don't care what they think," over and over. The rest of that day I spent working and enjoying solitude in my house.

Yesterday was one of the most discouraging and tiring days of parenthood I've ever experienced. Thank God that we get to start over every 24 hours.

Today was great. I took Jackson back to his MDO class and then I went to buy him some new fall clothes. All the cute short-sleeve fall stuff at Gap Kids was on sale. Yeah! Then I bought him some new shoes from the Vans store. They're so fun but I don't think they're the right size. After that I got a much needed hair cut. I now almost have bangs. Holy cow, that was a close call! Curtis and I got to have a really great lunch date at Red Robin. It was the highlight of my day. Then I made a Target run for new socks for Jackson. I don't think he's worn any since April. I also got some flushable wipes. Thanks to Stephanie and Missy for enlightening me. Apparently I was on a shopping roll because I also found him the cutest Nick and Nora pajamas which made me miss Sunni and Ava. Then I picked up the Mister, went home, made tacos for dinner, and watched my child literally bounce off the walls and furniture until bedtime. It was as if he'd had a kool-aid IV.

Also? I picked up Jackson from MDO 10 minutes early and he was the last one there. What in the world? I guess I will learn how this place works.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


From the Dallas Morning News - "Employees: 'Hierarchy of hotness' rules at Abercrombie and Fitch"

America is going to hell in an Abercrombie and Fitch handbasket. They must honestly take pride in being the most morally decrepit clothing store in all the world. They have worked so hard for the last ten years gaining and maintaining that status. Well done, A&F! Where would we be without the self-hatred and sexual degradation you inspire in our youth? You are awesome!

(You can read about the last time I shopped at Abercrombie here.)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Siesta Fiesta and Potty Training

Yesssss! I am woman, see me aerobicize! Actually, I'm glad y'all didn't see me because I looked so pathetic trying not to overdo it after 2.5 months of my only aerobic activity being carrying my toddler upstairs. Missy was there too and she had my back in case I vomited, passed out, or had a bladder emergency. Although I don't think she knew about the possibility of B or C. Also, random info for you, the Little One is kicking around in there right now while I blog! I love it!

Two huge things in my life at the moment:

A) The Siesta Fiesta, which I wrote at length about here. It was really fun and way too short! Y'all, those conferences just take it out of you. I was feeling so sick yesterday that we almost left church. Nausea and blahness. I don't remember that happening when I was pregnant with Jackson until the very end. We served at Passion '06 (which was 5 days long) just six weeks before he was born. I had lots of Braxton Hicks contractions and swollen feet, but I didn't feel like I'd been hit by a train. Maybe it's because I'm now approaching 30. Dern. But I still have another year. Don't take that year from me!

B) Potty training. We are four days in. I can tell am going to be that mom who talks about her kid going potty. Oh Lord, I never wanted to be her. It's just that it takes so much of your focus and time (and you're so proud that they can do it after you've changed SO MANY DIAPERS), it's hard not to talk about. I promise I will try to keep it at a minimum in my conversations. It's kind of like breastfeeding. I never thought I would care to talk about that either but I could seriously go on and on and on.

Since this is a mommy blog, I'm afraid I have to share some potty training details. First, Jackson is so very proud of himself. As soon as he tinkles he jumps up, throws his hands in the air, and says, "Yeah!" He also likes to say, "I won!" I'm not sure where he's getting that. Maybe his parents are a little too competitive.

I knew we were getting close to starting because he'd been showing some signs, but I wanted to be past the nausea and all my traveling before we started. Well last week we had Jackson's meet the teacher night at his new school. His teacher told me he would have the opportunity to go on the potty at school. I thought we'd better let him try it at home before he had to try it there. Sure enough, he loved going tee-tee in the potty and he loves his new Cars pull-ups. He also loves getting a Skittle every time he goes. He has yet to go #2 in the potty, but mom told me to make him a grab bag of little prizes for motivation. I hope to do that tonight when I go to HEB. If he does it before then he gets the chocolate milk that came in his kids meal from Sonic.

This evening I might try to go to aerobics for the first time since I was about 5 weeks pregnant. (It's hard to go when you're pukish.) We'll see if I'm woman enough.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Por Fin!

At last! The Siesta Fiesta is almost here! (Pause: I am suddenly starving to the point of throwing up and I need to get a bag of Cheetos. Okay, now I'm all good.) Tomorrow morning I am getting on a plane with my beautiful mother and we are heading to the great city of San Antonio, Texas, for a weekend with the Lord and with many of our blogging buddies. I have had some mental stress about this weekend over the last year, but now that everything is in place and it is finally here, I am only excited. There are so many people who I want to see and to meet! I can't wait! And of course it is always cool to be around the LifeWay team and the praise team. They are an awesome bunch. Also? Almost all of my dad's family is going to be there, possibly including several of my cousins who are in college and below. I haven't seen one of my aunts and her kids in over a year because they moved overseas last summer. I am looking forward to hugging their necks. If you notice a handsome grandpa cruising the arena with a cane, that is my Pappaw. He will probably be working the room.

So, I've had a lump in my throat for two days for no reason other than my hormones. Today I almost cried listening to Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" on the radio, which is not a crying song, y'all. (Sometimes I have to turn off the Christian radio station when they play the easy listening version of some song that is not meant to be played that way. I can't think of an example but y'all know what I mean.) Seriously. The hormonies are bad. The catharsis is coming but I do not know when. I will go ahead and apologize to anyone who might be near me or in view of me if it happens this weekend.

Finally, please hear me braying like a donkey while I apologize for Curtis and I making a joke about the little boy who was with Yao Ming in the Olympic opening ceremonies. All I saw was a tiny clip and I had no idea he was an earthquake survivor who had saved some of his classmates. He honestly looked like a toddler in such a large man's arms and I thought he was Yao's son. We had no idea and we feel terrible. Sorry y'all! Thanks to my dear friend Vonda Jo for giving us a clue. We love you and miss you, Vonda Jo! I'm sure I will have many more things to apologize for in the next six months, seeing as how pregnancy seems to diminish my filter.

I said "finally" in the last paragraph but I lied. I need to wrap up my feelings about the Olympics. Yeah for Shawn Johnson winning a gold medal! I got emotional watching her parents embrace and cry. Yeah for Misty and Kerri for winning another gold medal in a rain-soaked match! Did y'all hear them saying that now they just want to have babies? I thought that was sweet. Boo hiss for the poor guys who thought they had won medals after a race but on their victory laps found out they had been disqualified for stepping on the line. That totally stinks. And it's not like the guys who ended up with the medals could quite celebrate - they had actually come in fourth and fifth. Boo hiss for what happened to poor Lolo Jones. Bless her heart. Boo hiss for all of the athletes who put their hope in getting a medal but will go home disappointed. I pray they find the true Satisfier of their souls. Now I want us all to think about how we have watched the extent of man's spectacle and glory. It only lasts a few minutes. And like much of the opening ceremonies, it is really not what it appears to be. Our glory and our lives fade like a mist, but God's glory is eternal and limitless. It is unimaginably awesome and magnificent. We were created to magnify Him and to enjoy Him forever. What a wonderful hope we have! Lord, let us see YOUR glory this weekend! Amen!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Yesterday was one of my favorite Sundays ever. Jackson and I hadn't been at our church in two weeks due to travel and it was good to be back. Curt also happened to be preaching at the 10:40 service, so that made it an extra-special day for our family. We woke up bright and early to get to church at 8:45 for Curt's sound check. Jacks and I sat in the back and enjoyed hearing the orchestra warm up. I've been hearing that our traditional service has been awesome and kind of wanted to stay! But I love my Sunday school class. While we waited I got to visit with a senior adult sister that I'd never met and enjoyed that very much.

Afterward Curt and I took Jackson to Sunday school. Sometimes Jacks does really funny things when he walks into class (like sticking fingers in both of his nostrils) but this time he had no antics for us. BTW, have I mentioned that my child calls himself Tachi? He really enjoys abbreviating words (monster truck = monsh, goldfish = goldf) and I think maybe "Jackson" takes too much energy for him to be bothered to say it. So we dropped off Tachi and I headed to class. Curtis got back in the car and went over his sermon some more.

I was super early to class and got to visit with the girls before we started. Usually I get there a minute before we start, which stinks. After that I got to hear my hubby preach and I was so blessed. I had prayed in the car that it would be a demonstration of the Spirit's power and I felt that it was. Praise God! He has been so faithful to provide lots of chances for Curt to serve in various ways since we moved back to Houston. We are grateful to our Pastor Gregg for giving him the opportunity to preach while he was on sabbatical. We look forward to getting our pastor back next week!

I am also really missing First Irving because the beginning of the fall semester is such an exciting time there. It is so fun when the college students come back. I know they are going to have an awesome year with the new minister and the leaders God has put in place. Janelle, you know I miss you every single day, especially Sundays!

We got to have a really fun lunch with my parents at IHOP. Jackson is going through a little growth spurt or something because he ate a whole kids meal with silver dollar pancakes, bacon, and eggs by himself. You won't hear me complain though because if child eats, mommy eats!

We went home for a quick nap. Everyone slept but Jackson, who refuses to sleep on most Sundays. I think it's evidence of his sin nature that he won't sleep on the Sabbath.

At 4:00 we went to Paul and Lara Tate's house for our first Dinner 8 with our Sunday school class. We swam in their pool and had hot dogs, hamburgers, and pie. They have four awesome school age daughters who basically entertained Jackson the entire time. We had so much fun. Their daughter Courtney is about to entire the wonderful world of volleyball and I enjoyed getting to hear about that. Speaking of volleyball, I have to say that Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh are just cool. As I watched them a few days ago, my inner 14-year-old was wondering what I could do to make myself just like them.

Well, that is all I have to say about Sunday. It was a great day. Today was boring and hard discipline-wise. Jackson seems to be regressing in some areas of discipline that we'd had some success with. I'm sure it's normal but it's frustrating! Also, my dishwasher and laundry are currently ruling over me. I have a lot to conquer tonight. Well, at least I have a washing machine and a dish washer, right? Gymnastics awaits! Adios!

P.S. Stephanie Brown Trafton. Knew nothing about her before tonight but I heard her say on TV, "I prayed to God to give me peace of mind..." and I googled her. Read this. Awesome. Okay, how can I make myself like Stephanie?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Coffee Talk

*Please hear this post in Mike Myers' Linda Richman voice.

1) Nastia and Shawn winning gold and silver. I'm a little verklempt.
2) I'm finally in my second trimester. Let's hope it's smooth like buttah.
3) I went shopping with my mutha today. We lunched at Ruggles. She bought me some new maternity jeans. A saleswoman tried to sell me $70 stretch mark prevention cream.
4) As soon as we have our 20 week ultrasound and find out we're having a boy, I'm buying him this velour one-piece for next fall. Maybe this too. I can't wait to have a snuggly baby in my arms. I'm a little verklempt again! Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Victoria's Secret is neither Victorian nor a secret. Discuss.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It's All About the Randomness, Baby

-My summer TV favorites:
Women's gymnastics. Bless their hearts last night. But how awesome are the gymnasts and how much do I love our Texas girl Nastia Liukin? It is so fun to watch their smiling faces when they finish a good vault or whatever and they grin from ear to ear. The Chinese girls were especially fun to watch last night when they were doing their floor exercises. They knew they were going to win gold and they were performing in front of a home crowd. You could just feel their happiness. I'm thinking that some of the Chinese gymnasts (however amazing to watch) must have stuffed their training bras/sports bras a bit to pass for 16-year-olds. Also, there is one I cannot even look at because she is so painfully thin. Wow, coaches, give homegirl a Skittle!

Wipeout. Such a guilty pleasure.

So You Think You Can Dance. The last two episodes were very painful for me to watch because I loved all three of the final female dancers. Courtney was probably my fave but I knew from my friend Jennifer's expert tutoring that Katee should be the winner. I just thought all of three of them were amazing. And I think I've said before that I'd like to be Cat Deeley, or at least be her bff.

Even so, come quickly Office season premiere!

-I must be feeling better because today I called Curtis and asked him to bring me a chili dog from Sonic during his lunch hour. This is unusual because on the 4th of July we went to my parents' house and I sat in the living room with my head in my hands while everyone else was at the table eating chili dogs. I couldn't even look at them. That was a rough night. What a difference a month makes. Thank you, Hubs, for being so sweet to bring me lunch! It was so good!

-Our NOG group has been so fun this summer. We are going out for Mexican food in two weeks and then we are going to decide what study to do next. It is such a diverse group and I love it. One thing that amazes me is that almost every life experience you can come up with is represented there. We have some great discussions and a lot of laughter. One reason why I think this group has been so refreshing to me is that I had not done a Bible study with my peers since college!

-Why is a helicopter circling above my street right now? Should I be arming myself? Don't these people know Jackson is trying to sleep and Mama is trying to blog? Good grief!

-Check out It's a great resource for anyone wanting to know more about or get help with eating issues. It speaks to the person who has been medically diagnosed with anorexia as well as to the person who is finding herself getting a little off balance with eating or exercising. I think it's awesome that they provide help for the person at point A,B, or C so they don't have to get to point M or even Z. We can need help long before a doctor would diagnose us with something. I heard the founder, Constance Rhodes, speak at a retreat several years ago and was so blessed by her ministry.

That's all for now! Have a great day!

Monday, August 11, 2008

A Hill Country Wedding

I am a reformed Monday-hater. I confess that in the past I was one of those people who just lived for the weekends. Naturally, that would make Monday my least favorite day of the week. Now that I am no longer a student nor a full-time in-office worker, I don't mind Mondays all that much. In fact, I now savor Monday mornings. If the weekend has been crazy and Jackson and I have been off-kilter due to a wacky schedule, we use this day to fall back in sync. It is a beautiful thing. I love to wake up to the sound of Jackson chattering through the baby monitor, get him out of bed or make breakfast first (depending on the tone of his chatter), and have tea and toast while Jackson watches Handy Manny and I have my quiet time. We bid Curtis goodbye and then I get some work done while Jackson plays with his countless cars and monster trucks.

Today is an especially great Monday because we have not had normalcy in a while. As you know, we all went to Missouri recently. I returned home a week ago, just in time for Tropical Storm Ed, and spent two nights with my parents. Curtis remained in Missouri to speak at a youth camp. We then spent two nights at home alone before Jackson and I headed deep into the Hill Country with the entire Moore clan for a friend's wedding. We departed on Friday morning and Curtis arrived back at our house late that night. He preached on Sunday morning at HFBC, so he was not able to come with us. We were finally reunited last night. It had been six days since we'd seen him. So yeah, I was pretty darn ready for a normal Monday and a normal week. Jackson and I missed Curtis to the point of tears. I don't leave again until the San Antonio conference and that will be the end of our summer travels. I will be happy to wave goodbye to summertime...when it ends in mid-October.

Despite being very homesick for Hubs (home is where the Hubs is - that's my motto), the wedding weekend was awesome. The bride was my dear friend/adopted-big-sis Amy. Her man is one of the directors of Laity Lodge, which is a Christian adult retreat center on the Frio River. (Laity was founded by the H.E.B. family, as in my beloved grocery store H.E.B.) Their wedding was at the Lodge and a bunch of us got to stay on the grounds and hang out all weekend. It was so much fun! My favorite part was swimming in the river with my mom and Jackson. I could not get over how beautiful this place was. The grounds were extremely well kept and all the buildings were so nice. It was like the Ritz Carlton compared to all the Baptist encampments I've been going to my entire life. Jackson and I had a room that shared a patio with my parents' room and it overlooked the river. It had huge windows that let in the starlight at night. They were so bright, they even reflected off the river water. You can see tons and tons of stars in the Hill Country. I saw my first shooting star there in 8th grade. (That's what happens when you grow up in a big city.) My sister got to see her first one this weekend. It was really fun.

Here are some wedding details. We arrived on Friday night just in time for the rehearsal and dinner. I had no plans to take my two-year-old to the dinner, but we found out that was the only way we could eat. Pregnant Girl had to eat, so we gave it a try. Unfortunately, the second we walked in the room, Amy grabbed us and said, "Please come sit with us! No one is sitting with us!" My mom said, "Sure! Okay!" In my mind I was thinking...I won't even tell you what I was thinking. You can imagine. I was horrified. The table was set beautifully with china and bottles of wine and wine glasses. It was a disaster waiting to happen. Basically, Jackson and I had to leave and our friend Lisa, a beautiful angel of mercy, delivered our dinner to our door.

The next morning we had breakfast with everyone, then headed to the river to swim. Later we enjoyed a BBQ lunch with all the wedding peeps. Afterward Jackson and I took naps and then began getting ready for the wedding itself. Actually, I wasn't about to take Jackson into the ceremony. We walked down to the main buildings where the events were held at about the time I thought it would be ending. I was super sad to miss the ceremony, but the Lord gave us a fun moment. We walked up just a minute before Amy and Steven exited the building to the sound of enthusiastic cheers and the other Laity Director ringing the camp bell to sound the good news. It was so cool. Jackson and I were standing outside clapping for them and we got to share in that fun moment. Amy was breathtakingly beautiful. She looked like a movie star. Mom and I had been with her on the day she picked out her wedding dress, so I knew she would be beautiful. I could not have imagined just how beautiful! She wore some of Melissa's wedding jewelry too so that was really fun.

Immediately after that we were all served dinner. Stephanie's husband and boys took Jackson off to play after a few minutes and I was able to enjoy my food (and eat some of Jackson's. I was so hungry my hands were shaky!) It was so nice of them to give me a 30 min. break! After dinner everyone headed to Laity's art gallery building for the reception. The people with kids claimed a corner of the building where they could roll cars on the floor and mess around, so it was no big deal having Jackson there. Thank You, Lord. We visited with dear friends from HFBC, had some amazing wedding cake, and watched some people dance. I wish I was cool enough to share my awesome dance moves in public, but I'm not. Amy had a Beyonce' song on the playlist in my honor. I was touched.

Here are even more wedding details, as if I should make this any longer:
-Jackson's Uncle Colin was the number one reason we made it through the whole reception. He is very taken with his uncle and was completely attached to him that night. He was also really missing his daddy, so it made me glad that he had Colin to play with.
-Jackson slept on a twin bed for the first time. I had a bad feeling about it, so I lined the stone floor with pillows. Sure enough, in the night I heard a thud and had no idea what it was. Then little Jackson stood up next to my bed with his arms outstretched. No tears, no trauma. He didn't even really wake up. Bless his heart!
-The wedding cake had been brought up from Houston by some friends who really know their cake. At an ill-fated stop at Buc-ee's, their car was rear-ended. Thankfully everything ended up being okay and the cake looked gorgeous and tasted even better!
-When we laid Jackson down in his bed at 10 p.m., someone in the room mistakenly said the forbidden word "Daddy." It took Jackson about 2.5 seconds to burst into tears and have the most pitiful and heartbreaking meltdown I have ever seen. It was so sad. I just held him and said, "Tomorrow morning when you wake up, we are going home and we will see Daddy."
-A few minutes later I went on the balcony to look for shooting stars and I was surprised to see the bride and groom canoeing down the river! They had a little lantern in the boat with them. That's how they exited the reception. Isn't that awesome? (She had changed out of her dress first.)
-The next morning the first thing Jackson said to my mom was, "I see Daddy!"
-Ten minutes into our drive home Jackson puked all over himself and his car seat. Props to my mom and dad for handling most of the clean up so that we didn't have two pukers in the car.
-The car smelled like barf for five and a half hours. Thank the Lord, he did not throw up again. We were very relieved.
-We stopped at Buc-ee's on the way home and braved the kind of crowds you see at the mall on the day after Thanksgiving. I had banana pudding and a bear claw for lunch. It was the best lunch ever. (Buc-ee's is not just a gas station, it is an experience. It is like the Central Market of gas stations, if you will.)

Fun times! I am so thankful we got to celebrate Amy's big day with her. Amy, you have been an amazing friend and mentor to me for the last 9 years. I love you so much and I could not be happier for you and Steven. I pray every blessing of Christ on your marriage and I ask Him to give you the greatest European honeymoon that anyone's ever had. Thank you for being an example of what God can do when you wait on Him to bring you His best. Steven can do so much more than walk straight and spell "Jesus." No eye has seen! No ear has heard!

What makes this picture so funny is that Melissa was sitting on my mom's lap and then Papa Steve came over and sat on Melissa's lap. You can't really tell that from the picture but it was hilarious.

Colin and Melissa brought 7 new monster trucks for Jackson. He was over the top thrilled.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Five Minutes

Five Minutes...the amount of time it might have taken a handful of unidentified perps to wrap my house with toilet paper last night at 11 p.m.

I was in my living room when Beckham started growling and barking. I thought maybe it was just a cat or a possum or even an armadillo outside, but he was so unsettled that I made myself go look out the window. (I was kind of scared and didn't want to face it.) Imagine my surprise when I peered out the curtains of my office and saw that my house was getting wrapped. Seriously? Are Curt and I thirteen years old? Or even seventeen? Are we not parents, which automatically makes us dorks to anyone under the age of 21? I did not get a good look at the people before they saw me waving at them through the window and ran off. In hindsight, I wish I would have set off the panic alarm and scared them a bit. Today I have a little better sense of humor about it, but last night Pregnant Girl was not very happy about having to clean up the mess without the help of Hubs. When he gets home tomorrow he can climb the ladder and get the Angel Soft out of the tree. Sorry, neighbors! So, anyone out there have something to confess? I have a few theories. Or maybe they had the wrong house, which would make more sense.

Five minutes...the amount of time I was left alone in my doctor's office today thinking that my baby's sweet little heart had stopped beating.

Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. This is the point where you start believing you are actually having a baby and stop holding your breath for something bad to happen. After doing my time in the waiting room, a nurse I hadn't met called me back into the office. She took my blood pressure, weighed me on a very forgiving scale, squirted gel on my tummy, and waved the magic wand around to find the heartbeat. She went all over the place, taking her time. There was nothing. More looking. More nothing. After she had covered all the surface of my lower abdomen, I groaned, letting the thought actually enter my mind that we have lost the baby. The nurse put away the instrument, helped me sit up, and said, "Someone else will be in to help you." Then she left. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't speak or ask any questions. I knew someone else would double check her findings and then talk to me about my impending miscarriage. I can't even tell you what I was feeling. (Well, helpless and desperate to turn back time. Grateful that my mom was only two minutes away in case something like this happened.) Maybe you've been there and you know. About three minutes passed and I nearly ran into the hall and yelled for someone to come in there right now and talk to me about this. Come on now! How are you gonna leave someone all alone in the room like that? On the fourth minute I called Curtis at camp in Missouri and whispered, "Babe, they couldn't find the heartbeat." He was astonished and heartbroken. I told him to pray and that I would call him back after the person "came in to help me."

A minute later a very cheerful and sweet lady came into the room and said, "Hello! How are you doing? I am so-and-so!" Half of me thought this was the most inappropriate greeting of all time and the other half of me realized she must know something I don't if she could be that chipper. In a shaky voice I answered, "Well, I am really freaked out right now because there was no heartbeat!" Then she basically explained that she was the real pro in the house and that her instrument was going to find the heartbeat. If not, I would have an ultrasound. Sure enough, she found it right away, thank You Lord Jesus, while I was dialing Curtis to let him know he could stop freaking out. Man, what a long five minutes. What a swing of emotions. I could hardly pull myself together and speak to her coherently. She also told me that she thought I was having another boy, which may or may not have been her and/or God's way of comforting me after my five minutes of emotional turmoil. A few minutes later the doctor would come in to meet me. I asked God to help me get it together so that I wouldn't appear like the emotional wreck that I was. I would save my tears of relief for when I got to the car.

On a lighter note, I already love my new doctor. I don't know how much I will say about him just in the interest of my own privacy, but I am so happy about where the Lord has led me. He is a man of God and seems to be a wonderful person with a wonderful family. He told me he stopped counting the babies he delivered after 30,000. Holy Moses! He visited with me for about twenty minutes, asking me questions about myself and my family and telling me about himself and his family. I feel like I'm in very good hands.

So today I am very relieved, very thankful that everything is okay. My heart is also really tender because I can name off a whole list of friends who have been devastated in their doctors' offices and have not had their fears relieved - some more than once. Others much, much, much farther along than me. Even one who will soon mark the fifth year of her precious daughter's passing only days before she was due. I am so sorry for everyone who has gone through such a loss, for everyone whose hope deferred has made them heartsick. (Prov. 13:12a) I pray that if you haven't already, you would know your longing fulfilled and that it would be like a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12b)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

We Survived!

I'd even say we thrived! Thank you so much for praying us to Missouri and back. Curtis' drive through the night was uneventful and Jackson could not possibly have done any better on both of our airplane rides. Now I'm not itching to try it again soon, but he really did great. It was one of the greatest experiences of his life just getting to watch all the arriving and departing planes outside the airport window. Then he got a huge kick out of actually getting in the plane and, after take off, seeing all the trees, buildings, and cars below get smaller and smaller. Some of the things in my bag of tricks that really worked were the little toy airplanes, alphabet cookies, m&m's, the chocolate milk in his sippy cup, the brand new tractor book with little flaps, and the Cars stickers that changed colors when you looked at them from different angles.

I was concerned about getting home because I knew we would be in the car 2.5 hours before we ever got to the airport. Sure enough, by the time we got through security Jackson was really, really testing me. He wanted to run free but that was not about to happen. Also, I had found out on the way there that Houston (Galveston actually) was going to be hit with a Category I hurricane the next day. I guess you could say I was a little anxious. I looked at the departures/arrivals screen and saw that my flight was delayed and hour and I almost cried. Then I realized it was a flight going to a different Houston airport. Thank God! Ours was only delayed a few minutes. Once we got on the plane Jackson was fine. (Also, Hobby Airport is great. It has very good food choices like Pappas restaurants, Barry's Pizza, and Hunan. I've always thought it was a dirty and gross airport but it was the opposite.)

After the flight we headed straight to my parents house because I'm a big ole chicken baby and wasn't about to go through any type of hurricane alone in my house with Jackson. We went to sleep expecting the hurricane to hit in the morning but we woke up to find that it was only a tropical storm. It rained a lot but we didn't have much wind at all. We kept waiting for it to get worse but it didn't. In fact, the day the movers packed up our house in Irving seemed much worse in terms of wind, rain, and lightning. That was a miserable day, let me tell you.

Our time in Missouri was great. It went by way too fast and I was not ready to leave. It was our nephew Gavin's seventh birthday and we were lucky enough to get to celebrate with him at Chuck E. Cheese, a pool party at Cousin Erin's house, and at a family feast at Grandpa and Grandma Dixon's house (in which I learned to play the Wii and lost at dominoes). We also went to a big lunch in honor of Lindsay's in-laws' 40th wedding anniversary (Lindsay and Matt's moms have been BFF's for years). On Sunday we had an early dinner with my father-in-law's extended family in honor of his parents' 56th wedding anniversary. So as you can see, the weekend was full of celebrations. We made the obligatory stop at the Jelly Beans boutique and I bought a replacement blanket for one that Jackson had torn up. I haven't decided whether I will save it for the new baby or risk giving it to Jackson. (It is a brown Little Giraffe blanket and it has a matching pillow.) The highlight of the trip, for me, was when my sweet mother-in-law decided to make pancakes one morning. Honestly, I have never eaten anything more delicious in all my life. I'm pretty sure it's because she didn't hold back on the butter. We had a really sweet time visiting in the kitchen that morning, although I can't remember what we talked about. I just love Cozy and I'm thankful to have such a wonderful m-i-l. Also, Lindsay is the cutest thing ever with her baby bump. It was really fun to get to talk pregnancy talk with her. The next time I see her she will have that little baby boy in her arms!

As for me, I do have a little bump starting to poke out, not just the my-stomach-is-bloated-pooch that has been there for a while. The stuff I looked okay in last week did not look good at all when I got to Springfield. So I bought a maternity shirt from Target and wore it three times. (This shirt works for now but when I get bigger I will hate it because it will look too "sweet" as I explained to Curtis. The "sweetness" of a pregnant belly combined with the "sweetness" of some maternity clothes is too much for me.) I can still wear my regular pants but they look a bit wrong with regular shirts. I bent a weird way yesterday to grab a little car of Jackson's that had gone under the couch and it definitely did not feel good. So it already feels like I have a melon on my stomach but it just isn't sticking out much yet. I might as well already be huge by the way my back hurts. I've even found myself moving around all gimpy because of it. I can't explain it except by saying that my lower back feels loose, almost like when the chain falls off the gears on your bike. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow in which I will actually meet my new OB. I'm excited! Hopefully everything will be fine with Baby.

Alright, Jackson is in his bed for a nap now and I have to do some work. I have 50 emails to catch up on, mostly about the Siesta Fiesta. Speaking of Jackson's bed, I forgot to say that he slept in a regular bed for the first time while we were in Missouri! He was so sweet in it! He never tried to get up but I think that's partially because there were no toys to play with in that room. I think we will wait it out a little while longer here at our house, but it's nice to know he can do it when necessary. He's just growing up so much!