All the single ladies and brides-to-be,
When you are shopping for furniture to go in your home, and a lovely glass-top table catches your eye...
I want you to think of this. I know it's frightening, but enlarge it.
Because in a few years when you have a little boy who likes to do spit and fingerprint art, who likes drawing on glass rather than paper, who doesn't confine his mess to his plate or his place mat, and who wipes Cheeto residue and spills milk on the chairs, you will remember the day you saw the table so elegantly displayed in your local Bombay store, and you will want to knock yourself upside the head.
You will designate one special chair for your kid to mess up, such as this.
You will pray that God builds character in you every time you get the Windex out, which will be at least 5 times a day. Praying will distract you from thinking words like crap, heck, and dang, or any words that sound like them. Go ahead and stock up on Windex now. And since little boys are notoriously gross, you might want to get the Antibacterial Windex.
If you like it, then you're gonna have to Windex it.