Y'all, I'm having some major intestinal issues. Montezuma hates me. He wants to avenge me until I waste away into a size 2. Which would be nice except for all the cramping. And the fact that I could not leave my house at all today. If I had been more than 30 seconds away from (let's be as refined as possible) the W.C., it would have meant trouble. You know, Monty, can I call you Monty? I have things to do tomorrow. And I am not about to go buy some Depends because I'm afraid of your sudden pranks. Buying a pregnancy test two days ago was embarrassing enough. It was probably you behind the "Look! She hasn't paid! She's shoplifting a pregnancy test!" alarm that falsely sounded as I attempted to exit the drugstore. Really funny, Monty. Really funny.
W.C. You don't hear that every day! Love it.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you--that the "revenge" would run its course (er, so to speak) quickly!
AMANDA!!!! LOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am SO sorry about the fact that Monty is clearly one of those inconsiderate friends who doesn't take the hint that he needs to leave and is unwelcome, but your post cracked me up! And Depends!!?? LOL!
I mean...maybe you and Jackson could rock out the diaper look though???
I hope he gets over his vengeance soon. Poor thing!
I am going to be praying for you, Amanda! Truly, I will keep you on my mind. My friend and adopted college student (she taught your Mom to dance in South Africa about 5 years ago or so! She was a journeyman there and is now in Thailand) Susan has had stomach issues for years, and I pray for them all the time. So I will pray for you both!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!
Holly
Awwww, I hope you get feeling better soon! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHey Amanda! I totally had this same "refrenge" when I came back from Mexico! It is not fun and that cramping can make you want to lose your religion. :) I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDelete-Kim S
Amanda...so sorry about Monty overstaying. When I played USVBA Volleyball, several of us had a visit, no more like an extended holiday from Monty. We were in the finals for the tournament and our coach went out and bought tons of Gaterade for us to drink. It stopped the full blown Monty and as a side note, we won the tournament. Ever since then I have found this to work unless you picked up a parasite from Mexico.
ReplyDeletejust don't let that "birthday-new hire-welcome home" celebration dress/pant outfit get too big..it is so perfect on you!!!! hmmm Depends, huh.. kinda puts a new twist on "gettintoobigfyabritches" what with all your "OH, Amanda looks so TALL " comments from yesterday!!! LOL!May your next trip to THE walgreens be for another pregnancy test and huggies NOT for depends!
ReplyDeleteFunny!
ReplyDeleteI assume by your "affectionate" new nickname for him, that you two are quite familiar?!
I guess I need to move past second grade because I still love a good story about bodily functions!
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI will pray along with my other sistas that you get over this stomach thing. I did laugh at the rest of your post, Depends, LOL!! You are so funny, even when you are sick.
Love Ya,
Patty
You poor thing! It's like the sickness of being pregnant -- without the baby at the end!
ReplyDeleteoh amanda i am so sorry you are sick!
ReplyDeleteit is funny that that the alarm went off when you bought your prego test, because it did that to me yesterday too when i bought a prego test....haha! it must be an item many people steal??!! i just couldnt believe it happened to both of us buying the same thing!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH I am feeling a little guilty as I sit here rolling in the floor over your post about Monty, and our large group Bible teacher is in the next room blasting all the middle school camp kids for being too scared to share their faith.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a challenging week with 800+ campers not quite as "with it" as we had hoped, so the belly laugh was a much needed surprise. :) ...Sorry that it came at the expense of your comfort :(
Feel Better!
I love that you call him Monty, kind of makes him seem easier to defeat! :)
ReplyDeletePraying, today will be the day!
am i the only one who doesn't know what w.c. stands for ?? :))
ReplyDeleteYou just flat out crack me up...
ReplyDeleteAck!!! Monty, leave this girl alone! I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Bet you didn't think you'd bring an unwelcomed guest back with you! Many prayers for your feeling better.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about Mexico that literally brings out the worst in all of us? My husband and I went on our honeymoon (8 yrs ago next week) to Playacar, Mexico. We stayed at the Royal Hideaway (Highly recommend!) and he met Monty about 1/2 way through our trip. I didnt meet Monty personally until we got home.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, the Depends wont be necessary - I'm afraid they would be less than flattering to your figure and even more embarrassing to purchase.
Hope you feel better friend...so sorry you tied to the potty... love you...
ReplyDeleteEvery time I have ever bought a pg test at Wal-Mart - I have set off the alarms. And it's always some precious old man who has to come check and gets more embarrassed than me.
ReplyDeleteI always have to remind myself - I'm a 30 (plus) year old married woman - I don't have to be embarrassed! :-)
Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteso funny girl! I know what you mean with the stomach bugs. people keep asking me about weight...oh how did you lose weight they say...then I explain of the intestinal issues that made me waste away to the size 2. I promise them they don't want meningitis or GI issues...its not worth it :)
ReplyDeleteps that pic of you on the lpm blog did not make you look pregnant. you are so adorable.
ReplyDeletefunny story...I was on the last 2 days of my pill pack and had not started. Even though I heard "wait on the Lord" in my Spirit I ran to WalMart and got my pregnancy test. It was negative and I started an hour later...don't you love that?!?!
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI arrived here via BooMama and laughed and laughed when I read your pregnancy test story. I discreetly bought an EPT when I was pregnant with my fifth child. The other four kids were with me at the store. (Big mistake!) When we got to the exit with our popsicles and pregnancy test that alarm started to whoop and holler. The helpful bag checker by the door began searching through my items to determine what it was that caused the bell ringing ruckus. She needed to ask several cashiers which item it could possibly be.By the time the dust had settled all four children knew that there was a potential baby number five. Add that excitement to the confusion. I still cringe.
Hope Monty has left the building.
Kate