One And A Half

Dear Jackson,

Today you are 18 months old. I'm not sure how every mother feels about this mark in time, but it seems like a big milestone to me. I've been so serious today. Even though I tried to shake it, I just couldn't smile and laugh as usual. I think I was mourning a little bit because there is absolutely nothing I can do to keep you from getting so big! Not that I'm not looking forward to things to come. I am. But I am enjoying you so much exactly how you are right now. It's not all fun and games - you do have some serious teething going on and you're experimenting with tantrums. But I just love you so much and I want to remember every single thing about you at this age. Sometimes I don't even know how to tell you how much I love you. All I can say is, "Jackson, you are Mommy's heart."

I can't freeze time. I can't save an 18-month-old version of you to go back and play with when I get home from dropping you off at kindergarten. So here is what your life is like at 18 months old.

When you wake up in the morning, you enjoy jumping up and down in your bed. Then I put you in your high chair and give you some raisin toast and half a banana. You watch Go Diego Go while you eat and I sit next to you having my quiet time. I do not think the Lord minds when I stop and sing the songs with you. I love how you grin at the Rescue Pack with half a piece of toast stuffed in your mouth. If I let you out of your chair before I'm done, you inevitably crawl onto the couch and try to steal my pen. That is when I call out so sweetly to Daddy to get out of the bed and come play with you.

This month I've been weaning you off the bottle. You were supposed to be off the bottle at 12 months, but that is when I actually started you on one. You had one every now and then until 6 months, but at that point you said HECK NO every time I tried. I felt that nursing you for a year earned me 6 months of giving you a bottle and I do not feel one bit bad about that. You had your very last bottle last night. I held you in the glider and rocked you while you drank it. You really don't even fit in my arms like that anymore, so I wasn't as tearful as I thought I might be.

Right now you like to say "What's that?" and point at everything. It sounds more like "Was da?" We are working on the words for things in your room like fan, window, chair, book, pillow, blanket, ball, dog, and bear. I think you already know a lot of it but you are keeping it a secret from me. You actually talk a whole lot, but Mommy and Daddy aren't smart enough to figure it all out yet. We could really use a toddler dictionary. You do say ball (boll) and dog (dah). You shake your head no and I don't think it will be much longer before you start saying it. When we ask you a question and you don't know the answer, you raise your hands in the air. Recently you started saying "bee bee!" or "wee wee!" when you want something. You get a really desperate look on your face and it makes me laugh. Another thing that makes me laugh is how Ella and Ava say "Mommy" so sweetly. When you say my name it is always embedded in a whine or a grunt. MaMAAAAAA!!!!!

You and Daddy have a new game. You stand on opposite ends of the room and Daddy says, "One, two, three, go!" And then you run as fast as you can to him and fall in his arms. You will say, "Uh, uh, UH!" before you take off. If I'm really lucky you'll do it for me, too. You love it when Daddy gets home from work. When you see him peeking in the window you laugh until you're breathless and go running toward him. A few weeks ago he bought you a baseball bat and y'all have had lots of fun with that. Mommy pitches to you and Daddy and y'all hit the balls together. You still love to play with balls more than anything.

This month you became fascinated with spoons and forks. If a utensil is there and I don't let you use it, there is heck to pay. Sometimes (okay, all the time) it is much, much easier just to let you pick things up with your fingers. I am going to try to get better about not caring what a mess you make and how much food you waste trying. Otherwise, you'll never learn, right? Last night you fed yourself your whole dinner with a fork and you were very pleased.

Son, I cannot even explain how cute you are. Your facial expressions are hilarious. You have a silly grin that wrinkles your nose and squints your eyes. I love letting you run around with just shorts or pants on because you look like a little man. You tend to walk with your chest puffed out, which just adds to your little man-liness.

Jackson Jones, you have turned Mommy's life upside down...and I have never enjoyed my life more. I love you so, so much. You are my heart.
-Mommy