Monday, April 21, 2008
Goodbye, Charlotte, Goodbye
Tonight I spotted a ginormous spider on the floor of the laundry room. I had never seen a spider that looked so freakish. It had a huge rump, which for some reason convinced me that it was going to jump on my face and poison me if I didn't kill it right away. So I took my husband's shoe and began smacking it. You probably know where this is going. It was immediately obvious that I was attacking Charlotte and her babies. Hundreds! Hundreds of babies scattered everywhere! I started screaming and crying like a little child. Curtis could not imagine what was happening. All he could hear was me yelling Jesus, help me! What do I do? Oh, Lord, help me! My drama reached new heights while tiny spiders ran from their dying mother's body. I felt so horrible. And completely disgusted and freaked out. My head is still pounding. Curtis had to take over and, in my defense, even he was amazed by the carnage.