We are halfway through our week without Curtis. Today was a really hard day. "Really hard" as in no one in my family is in the hospital, we are all dressed and fed, the bills are paid, but I still had a hard time counting my blessings and not being pitiful. I cried three times. Mainly, I am emotionally exhausted with Jackson's discipline issues, which for a couple of days were intensified by the very welcome and much desired presence of my sweet friend Bonny and her two sons in our home. Bonny is like a sister to me (we lived together for three years) and both of her boys (3 years and 7 months) are precious. Here's the deal: my son hates sharing his toys. When we have other kids over, a terribly ugly side of him comes out. We've had three very tough experiences with this in the last few weeks. I can't even tell you how much this breaks my heart, embarrasses, and discourages me. The constant need to discipline him makes me feel like a mean, angry, ineffective mommy.
Bonny and her boys left at lunchtime. By then I was at my breaking point with Jackson. I was in such a funk that didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone for the rest of the day. But my friend down the street had invited us to dinner at her house with some other families from our church. I wondered if we should even try to go. Maybe it wouldn't be so wise to put Jackson in another situation of sharing when we really needed some peace between us. Since I knew we could easily walk home at any time, we did end up going. It was wonderful. Jackson did great. Of course, he was getting to play with another child's toys and wasn't having to share his own.
When we got home we had a very sweet time getting him ready for bed. It did some healing work on my banged up heart. I'm so glad God gave me and Jackson a chance to succeed together before the sun set on this day.
If anyone reading this has ever been in my shoes, I welcome your advice. I have a very active, lively, expressive, strong, two-year-old son who can't handle sharing his toys. He shares others' toys relatively well. But I am to the point where I feel like not having company again until he's five. What is going to change his unwillingness to share his toys? Time and age? Or inviting others to our home as much as possible until he gets it right? I need some help!
Well, I've gotta run. I have a date with Dobson and The Strong-Willed Child.