Sometimes I wonder why God didn't give me the gift of teaching. My mom and husband both have it, so sometimes people assume that I'm a teacher, too. I vacillate between feeling justified in declining invitations to speak or teach and feeling like I lack faith. Does it take more faith to know my place in the body of Christ and focus on using the gifts I have been given? Or does it take more faith to accept an invitation to fill a role I have not been gifted for? I suppose I could pray that He'll empower me when I get up there with my Bible and just believe that He'll do it. But where is wisdom in that equation? This is one of my recurring inner struggles.
When it comes down to it, I'm a people pleaser and I hate not fulfilling someone's expectation of me. But I'm pretty sure that's a bad reason to do something.
What's your recurring inner struggle?
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86 comments:
My inner struggle would be of not measuring up. I am single, no children and just dont know where I fit in sometimes. I belong to a Seniors ladies SS class..and its the only place where I feel like I fit in. I don't know where my place is to be.
Reaccuring inner struggle? My quiet time or lack there of. I love studying the Bible, like really really studying it, commentaries, Greek and Hebrew translations, Oswald Chamber's. As much as I love it, I shove it to the back burner.
I totally understand! My gift IS teaching, but not so much leadership. OIne would think thease are one in the same, yet no so! They are very different. I struggle with leading people who have placed themselves around me to help with ministry. I certainly NEED their help, but I fail at really LEADING them. Why can't we just do bible study and make life easy? Cause people are involved!!! That always gets messy!
Anyway, I hear ya and pray that you will have peace about what to do!
hugs~Mariel
Sweet one, I hear ya! I am with Mariel, I have the gift of teaching and struggle with administration like no ones business! I do however take opportunities to lead when I feel the Lord is leading me through His Spirit to do so. It is always a struggle because it is not my strength! My really inner struggle is where I belong in the body of Christ as a whole, I want so desperately to know God and seek Him for everything, but that seems to be a great irritant to a lot of the people around me IN THE CHURCH!! I keep thinking I should just make sure my "cup" is overflowing with Him and take that to share but then I leave week after week depleted and grieved. I continue to press into Him, but I am wondering and struggling with where on earth I belong if I don't belong with my church family...I do have a small circle of folks that are like minded and for that I am extremely grateful!
Being at peace that being obedient to God is all that I am responsible for...not the results. I am a fixer by nature and like to see a project through from beginning to end. My inner struggle is being at peace that I only need to be obedient to God's call and leave the rest up to God.
I totally relate
My inner struggle is public speaking (I can not stand to have attention on me)
God called me to lead a Bible Study 3 years ago and I thought for sure He had called the "wrong" person -
surely He knew I was terrified to speak in public
It was amazing to see all that God did through me and those women - WOW
The experience changed me for life
God will let you know if He has called you to teach
In the meantime, just say no! :)
Much love
Kim
My inner struggle is being obedient to Him. Sometimes my thick noggin' just wants to do what I want to do instead of following His prompting to do otherwise. I am such a work-in-progress.
Amanda...you just keep "doin' your thang" and pleasing Him. You are a delight!
Love,
Kristen
PS I have followed your LPM blog for years but just found this one! I love the name...very cute! :)
Thank you for sharing~ mine would be my independent will.
My inner struggle is not worrying about what people think of me being 33 and single....most people my age have two-four kids. I just want people to know that my faith lies in the the Lord...and that I know this is HIS plan for me, and to not feel pity for me!
Thanks for sharing!
YES.
I was just asked to lead our next bible study and that's a big stretch, a mega inner struggle! Funny, teaching hs journalism was no big deal...ladies bible study, though? I'm shaking in my boots!
Amanda, I too struggle with not being able to teach the bible. And it has been really hard to accept because I am a trained teacher by TRADE. I take pride in being able to teach students who walk into my class not speaking English to read by the end of the year. But as much as I've tried (Upstream leader, and other various studies), it's just not the right thing. And that's OK, because by golly, I can LOVE on people. And I'm resting in that.
I'm a fellow people pleaser. . . and, I agree, that is not how God desires us to function.
Stasi Eldredge coined it best: feeling like to much and too little all at once. That is my biggest struggle.
BTW, you are such a vital part of so many people's lives. You have the gift of being wise, stable, full of grace, kind and real. I love all of that and more about you! It makes me think of Paul Overstreet's song, "I'd rather see a sermon than hear one anyday." You give a sermon/ teaching with your life, Amanda.
I can imagine that you would have that struggle... This is a lame comparison, but when I was growing up, my dad sold and repaired typewriters, so everyone automatically assumed I could type, even though I couldn't. In some weird way, I felt like I had put a dark mark on our family name. (However, that wasn't really truth.)
You are a precious woman, daughter, mother, wife, and servant of the Lord. There may be a time when He calls you to step out of your comfort zone as He did Moses... but when He does, like Moses, you'll know it! You won't have to wonder. Until then, sweet Amanda, release yourself from the worry of disappointing anyone but the Lord. Then serve Him fully right where He's placed you. :-)
Thanking God for YOU, Amanda...
Jennifer
Carbohydrates.
First of all I LOVE the new family pic.
I struggle with pressing in to serve God verses just allowing doors to simply become wide open. The struggle is I always want things to be very simple with no obstacles. Sometimes I think God wants me to press in to serve Him, like the woman w/ the issue of blood pressed in to be healed. At the same time I don't want to get ahead of God. I have to be careful to stay balanced - so I don't get lazy or get ahead of God.
Girl, I hear you. I think we are wise to recognize what our giftings are. We are a BODY and we each have a part...if I am doing what someone else is better gifted at, just b/c I was asked to do it, I am robbing them of the opportunity to grow their gift. But, there are those times that the Lord wants to develop a gift he has given me and I do need to step out in faith. I think it is a matter of seeking him and trusting him to open the doors that he wants us to walk through. I was recently asked to take on a new leadership role. I realized that I might be equipped to do that, but that this wasn't the season for me to be in that role. I had a very real peace about my decision to decline. There are other times that I know that any answer other than yes, will leave me with a void.
All that to say, I struggle with wanting to please and always being able to say yes. But, the Lord has been so REAL to me lately that I only want to do what His BEST is!
Sister, you teach and don't even know it!!!!
Mercy, I can relate to your struggle (still in rehab for that people pleasing thing) and others mentioned. Right now, one of my biggest struggles is truly trusting His plan. We've been experiencing some major storms in the last 2 years, and it's hard to trust His plan when it isn't what I desire. It's hard to not act when I see something that makes sense, but I don't have peace to move forward. Then I beat myself up for not trusting Him after all He has done for me.
I agree with Katie- quiet times! It's so hard to keep up & stick with them!!! I try to do them daily but Im not perfect. I try to do something that is in God's word at least daily! Even if I can't read the scripture!
Great post sweetie!
God does not call the equipped He equips the called.
Oh, sweet Amanda...been there done that. However, if you want to know if you have the gift of teaching...I know you know you can take a spiritual gifts test and have others counsel and affirm if that is one of your gifts or if there is potential in that area. YOU ARE PRECIOUS in all the ministry and personal ways you bring life to the church body, your friends, family and so many others. I like you just the way you are! I adore you and I've never even met you. :-) I know there is an immense amount of pressure on you because of the reputation and skills of those around you (your mom, etc.)...but I totally appreciate the Lord's unique creation of you and your precious heart and love for people. I am seriously not just spouting off words. You seem to exude love in your communication with people and what a blessing you are to those around you (from the comments I always see on your blog). Whatever direction you decide to go in the journey of "faith" you mentioned...let us continue to journey with you. Keep us posted. :-)
Amanda,
Sometimes God calls us to do things that are not part of our gifting simply because there is a NEED. For example, my gifting is teaching, yet occasionally I jump in and keep the nursery at church. Everyone knows that I am not gifted in the area of children's ministry nor do I even enjoy it, yet when there is a need, I feel that we in the body should step in.
Kinda like the story of the Good Samaritan. Those who passed by did so because mercy was not their gifting. The Good Samaritan may not have been gifted in the area of mercy either, yet he recognized a need and moved to meet it.
In the area of speaking and teaching....if it is not your gifting and the Lord is not giving you a desire to do it, I would say DON'T. You will know if/when there is a NEED and He calls you to step into that role. He will make it very clear to you. Otherwise, operate in your areas of gifting primarily.
Just my 2 cents worth.
Leah
my recurring inner struggle - should I sing solos or not. I know I am an expressive singer. I have been told that I *should* but I am scared to DEATH to even try and I always think of all those poor kids on the American Idol auditions show, you know the ones who really CAN'T sing, but someone, somewhere told them they could. I am TERRIFIED that this is really me.
So I go back and forth with God about it. It this a lack of faith? am I blocking God from using me on the platform? or is staying away from the microphone the smartest decision I've ever made? My dad was a soloist at our church growing up, so people always expected that I would be comfortable with it too. But I'm just not.
so I totally get how you are feeling here.
My recurring inner struggle is accepting and loving myself as God made me, and while I'm on my journey to whom I'm becoming as I walk with Him. Specifically, I have MAJOR body image issues, but praise the Lord that the SLI is helping that, as is some hard work with a Christian therapist and nutritionist!
One of your gifts is being a great Mom and I think that automatically makes you a teacher...so do not fear! :)
Balance... I tend to say yes to everything. Then I feel like a failure when I can't do everything to a perfect standard... (the curse of the firstborn.) I want to meet people's expectations, my husband is a pastor and I do have some of the stereotypical pw things... play the piano, etc. But I can't find a balance between what I should be able to do and what I mentally can handle.
My inner struggle is self-control. Oh it shows up in so many places. 3 months ago I gave up a 29 year habit of biting my nails. Which is something I never thought I could do. There have been times I have had to cut my nails right down to the skin so I don't bite them but I didn't bite them that short.
God really spoke to me through that. Telling me that I could stop biting my nails. So we are still working on that but he has also brought it to my attention that I need to get my eating under control. My family has really lived by the motto "if one cookie is good ten is better." So to get work towards self control is something I need to work on.
My inner struggle: Feeling bad about myself when I don't have it all together. If certain areas of my life are a hot mess, then I get really hard on myself and feel like I am just a royal screw-up.
My inner struggle is with being a full-fledge sanguine. Just as Paul says "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." I know my gifts, but I always seem to find something else to do with my time instead.
Hi Amanda,
My inner struggle is wanting to do everything, but needing to realize what I'm gifted in and staying there.
I happen to be gifted in teaching and encouragement, but I want to be so much for so many that sometimes I forget where God has me. Not a good place to be in.
As for your situation, girl...you are definitely a teacher. But maybe you are a teacher in the written word instead of the spoken? I've learned so much from your posts on here and over at the LPM blog. You are an encourager as well. I cannot count the times I've read something you've posted and come away with a sense of joy. That is a remarkable gift.
Prayers and blessings as you navigate your inner struggle and seek God's direction!
Rebecca
Wondering where exactly where God wants us as a family.
AND, can I tell you that while you may not feel you are gifted in teaching you are NO DOUBT gifted in writing!! You have a way with words in print - that is for sure!!
Just one?! Loneliness is one I'm dealing with now since we've been relocated overseas ...I continually rehearse "discouragement is a temporary loss of perspective." A pastor said that in a sermon about Elijah years ago, and it has helped me to get over myself and let the Lord shine light on whatever I'm struggling with.
Amanda, You are a teacher. I am confident that you could be just as inspirational teaching in the same fashion as your beloved Mama. That being said, I think you teach every day by example and writing. You don't even realize how much you teach by your actions and your words.
Don't struggle. Have faith.
Love ya, Allison~
My husband is a Senior Pastor and degreed in Biblical studies. My area of study was in business and we both went to "Soutwestern" colleges -- in different states -- which confused some parishioners. I had struggles with people assuming I was a speaker, Bible teacher, knew theology, etc. The reality was, I could assist with business matters, but I felt so inadequate when it came to helping others with spiritual matters. As far as my "teaching" ablities, I could be found in the toddler and elementary classrooms. :)
I had to learn to be myself and use the gifts and interests God had given me. Over the years I have developed a passion for indepth study of God's Word, and as a result, God has developed new gifts in me. I have spoken numerous times, and at this time I teach a young adult Sunday School class.
I love James 1:5 that tells us if we lack wisdom, ask, and our generous Lord will give it to us. I have asked many, many times and God has always come through.
Struggles with inadequacies still come, but I stand on the scripture that tells me "For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:14 NLT
and . . . ask our generous God for the wisdom to do those "things" wisely.
Blessings,
Sherry
Amanda, you teach all the time with your written work and how you conduct your life! Thank You.
My inner struggle is balance due to having to feel like I have to do it all to prove my place, crazy I know.
I struggle with people pleasing too! God has called me to stay put at home with Him for the past 2 years after losing my job. He has still not given me any direction elsewhere nor any idea of what my next job will be or when it will be. I have a college degree and everything! Well, no one in my family follows Jesus Christ, so they REALLY don't understand what it means for me to follow Him. I love all of them so much and so its really hard not to listen to them when they are constantly telling me I need a job, and that I'm wasting the prime years of my life, etc. They even think I inherited the "crazy genes" (I'm not joking, they have called me "fanatic" and tell me I'm losing my mind and that somethings bad wrong with my thinking). This is a current struggle for me, because I've hung around them so much I've started thinking that's what I need to do too and now most days I feel like something is wrong with me because I don't have a job/career. Just this past week, Christ spoke to me through His word to cut off time with them for ahwile since they are messing with my faith in Him alone.
whew. I totally get how you are feeling, sister. There's nothing like thinking who you are and where you are now is somehow not enough. Check out 2 Cor. 5:9-10, it is really ministering to my "people-pleasing psychosis".
CHOCOLATE!! :)
I'm a people pleaser too, Amanda but I'm really REALLY working on it because it causes me so much stress that shouldn't be on my shoulders. I must say in the last few years I've gotten a little bit better.
My inner struggle? I have several. :) One is travelling more and being on the mission field more. I love it when I go, but beforehand am always terrified.
I just realized today that: "Sometimes a woman wants to see her husband fight on her behalf so badly that she’s willing to be the enemy with whom he fights."
Isn't that messed up??? that's my inner struggle...power over my husband. I'm glad I'm reading through SLI...seriously, dude...I need a swift kick in the pants to stop the way I treat my husband...good thing "God works all things together for those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son..." Romans8:28-29a
so many! But seriously I think my biggest one is recognizing my identity and worth being in Chris and not in anything I do, anything I can be, or what I look like . . .
Good questions Amanda... Right now I am just battling my flesh, and struggling with many things. The inner struggle is so hard, but I know that if I keep wrestling good will come. I just have to have faith to hold on...
Thanks for sharing today...
I have the inner struggle of never saying NO - but the deeper issue is like yours.......people pleasing!! And then even deeper than that is my need to be approved and appreciated...............i think that one is boiled down to the ugly........glory seeking or glory sharing..... ooooh that is ugly but so freeing to admit and confess and now I will once again go repent!!! I am a filthy rag - Praise You Jesus!!!
I am a longtime lurker, Amanda. I do want to say that I think you are a fabulous writer -- I often wonder how long it takes you to write your posts, because you have such a witty, pithy way with words.
My inner struggle is with being a full-time working mom. In my heart, I know that I am a better mom to my son because I am able to work outside the home in an intellectually demanding profession (I'm a lawyer). But I do feel guilt over working full-time and often desire a better balance (i.e., part-time work). That does not appear to be God's plan for our family at the moment, but I pray it may be in the future. (And that I would be a good steward of the extra time with my son in that event.)
If you've prayed about it and know God's plan for you doesn't involve teaching, then you absolutely don't have to do it. Pray God gives you the strength to say no.
On the other hand, if you've told God that you want to write and not speak/teach (talking to myself here) and He means for you to do otherwise, then beware. :)
Just make sure you're 100% certain God hasn't secretly gifted you in the teaching realm. :)
I have a couple inner struggles.
people pleasing to be sure and a desire to display gifts others have that have been given to me. And then fear that the gifts I *do* have will be taken advantage of, which then renders me fearful to use them.
Right now, I'm so tired with my new baby and preparing to move that I feel like I have no ability to serve well in the Body ~ and I'm wrestling with how much to do and if people are judging me b/c I've stepped back so far from what I was doing 4 weeks ago.
Stupid insecurity! ;)
love,
rachel
That's no different than someone being disappointed if I won't jump on stage and sing a solo when they know - ministry wife or not - I can't carry a tune in a bucket. You don't get the gift just because you married it or were born to it. Just because you are a Moore-Jones doesn't mean you want to speak/teach. I'm sure both your mom and hubby depend on you for so much they are ill-equipped to do themselves.
So own your 'no' and use it confidently, girl! :)
I can teach kids all day long, but put me in front of adults...well it is not good.
I have lots of inner struggles...some of them rooted in insecurity. Still working on that, but I am going to get to the other side!!!!!
Thanks for sharing!
i'm thankful you use your gift of words through your writing to minister! and in the little we've been together i feel like you have the gift of encouragement too. thanks for sharing!
as for recurring struggle, i want to learn to me more "mary-like" and care less about my to-do list and more about God's to-do list. it's very hard for me to just sit or be in the moment when there is anything to be done.
Among the inner struggles that many of us face, the last thing we need is to place judgment upon ourselves in the area of our calling.
The important thing is to know who you are, stand firm in your position, and trust Him to lead you through.
He may not give you a classroom, but He has given you two beautiful children to teach, mentor, and to grow with.
As my mom says, you can't teach without learning.
Ginger
I have the same inner struggle. I teach 5th grade, but when I've been asked help teach a class at church I just can't. I don't feel like I know enough to add to anyone's life. But then again I feel totally comfortable standing in a class talking about English all day long. It just doesn't make sense to me.
biggest inner struggle?
doing what others want me to do
instead of what God made me to
do!
i'm sorry you have such big shoes
to fill but suspect your ministry
will surpass hers, because like
all moms, she prays that your
anointing will be greater.
blessings,
lea
While you may not feel like a teacher God has certainly gifted you with wisdom, I feel like I gain a lot of insight reading your blog. I would say my inner struggle is knowing my gifting, I tend to be like Moses, thinking I can't do it (whatever "it" is). God usually has to push me into things! =)
Amanda,
I can only imagine your inner struggle. I do agree with the rest of the ladies here that you are incredibly gifted with the written word girlfriend! I love, love, love reading your posts. And after meeting you in Houston, you are sweet as a doll and you do so many wonderful things within your mom's ministry. It is not just her ministry, it is all of your ministry and I thank you for all that you do!!!
As for me, I am struggling right now with being 34 and single with no children. I thought that my life would be so different. I don't exactly know how I really feel about it because I trust that God's plans for my life are perfect but I can't help but rehearse the idea that I must've done something wrong along the path of life, that I am not living the "typical" woman's life (married with children). Just being honest here :)
Hi Amanda! I just came across your blog from my friend Meghan (Spicy Magnolia) and I love your honesty and openness.
One of my inner struggles would be leaving comments on people's blogs that I don't know in real life! Not a very spiritual one, but there you go!
I have an inner struggle about being a better steward of the earth. It is hard to live in our culture and not give into the disposable consuemr goods and yet I know its hurting our planet... UGH. Help me, Lord.
Sister Lynn
Amanda,
I agree with Rebecca - you are an encourager. Seriously. It is a gift and a blessing to all who are around you.
Deirdre
@ screamofcontinuousness.wordpress.com
Sweet Amanda...You are a teacher! You are teaching that a Godly life can be lived well and that a young mother can know God's love in the middle of the chaos of babies, husbands, and needs. You teach every single time you post on this blog that what your mama stands and proclaims is truth. You are the teaching result and proof that the Christian life really works! I have said to your precious face, while you worked the resource table in Houston, that I pray for you girls. It's hard having to share so much of yourself because of Beth. God did not call you to be "mini-Beth" (ha) but to be Amanda and all that you are in Him. Let the expectations of others go. Do what you feel God is directing you to do now...He'll clue you in if things change. You are one loved little girl just like you are! Enjoy!
I never thought you might struggle with that but I guess I would wonder that myself if I was BM's daughter...but you definitely have the gift of writing!
One of my main inner struggles is believing that I am holy and forgiven and no longer under condemnation.
I have the biggest passion for women who go to church and sit there Sunday after Sunday and don't get it! That was me 14 years ago... I loved God, knew I should go to church, prayed occasionally (of course mostly when I needed something!) Even grew up a PK... but it wasn't until I was almost 30 that God radically changed my life! (wish I could write out whole story but it is too long... maybe I'll blog about it this week)
Anyway Amanda... I have such a hunger to reach women who are church goers but still don't get it! There is SO much they are missing out on! I think there is a HUGE mission field within our church walls! My problem is teaching and leadership are not my gift areas... and yet I have this passion so big inside me even just writing about it here makes me want to pop!
I do facilitate a small interdenominational group of about 15 women your age... but I battle my insecurity over it each week! So that is my inner struggle! : )
Do I truly believe that God is enough if I can't get over my desire to get married and have kids? Am I selling Him short by "needing" something else so badly in life? Is it possible to overcome that "something missing" feeling?
One more thing!
Amanda, you have a beautiful gift of writing! I get so excited when I see you have posted something! God has used your writings over and over again in my life and I know countless others!
You also have a beautiful heart! It just pours out in all your writings! : )
I can only imagine what a powerful relational ministry you have! (does that make sense?) Just sitting with a group of girls... or one on one... pouring into their lives... being transparent... hearing their hearts... sharing yours!
Just being Jesus in the flesh to someone is huge... I think we all hunger for someone like that to be in our lives! I just sense that you have that gift amazing gift too!
Have a great day! Emmy : )
mine is probably priorities and what to do with free time... should i go clean something in our house, should i try to go get a quick workout, should i make a grocery list, should i read a chapter in my book, should i call or email a friend, should i try to teach avery how to read, should i check my email/blog, etc. anyway, you get the idea. just trying to find a balance and not drive myself crazy.
yes, Lisa at PW said it perfectly! Amen. :)
My inner struggle? That I'm ruining my kids by homeschooling them.
About the teaching. I don't have the gift, but I do it. In the past at church and now at a homeschool co-op. So much of teaching (for me) is just learning how to do it if you don't have the gift. I still find joy in it, but the actual work of teaching can be quite a job.
I think this is so ironic because you've come to mind constantly as I've searched for Girls Retreat speakers. You are so right though, where is the wisdom in that? However, I have to tell you that I do think you teach, just in a different way, through your writing and encouragement. Those are most definitely two of your gifts and you use them mightily! But at the same time, He does call us out of our comfort zone at times. Ah! Such a battle!
As for my inner struggle? Knowing that I'm called to this ministry for such a time as this, but also struggling with wanting to find the right man and get married. I love, love, love what I do and where I'm at, but I'm constantly wondering if anything would have been different had I actually become a teacher and attended HFBC and been more involved there. Such a struggle, but I know this is where He has me right now!
Ok...I must tell you that when I wrote on your blog the other night....actually very very early in the morning....I must have been delirious because I didn't finish! so here you go...... God doesn't call the equipped He equips the called. The question for you is not am I equipped it is..... is this the area that I am called to or the season.
I LOVE to speak and I feel that it is the area that my giftings are in....but I have 5 children and a few years ago...many "good" doors were opening....I became so "busy" and my home was suffering...I had to scale way back....the enemy loves to get us VERY busy! Rest in him and He will make it abundantly clear exactly what and where and when!
Right now, my inner struggle has been about watching pain happen in a child's life and not necessarily being able to "fix" it. I'm a fixer and I'm not used to being directly involved in situations that I can't fix or at least help fix. I'm going to grow a lot in this season, mainly in the area of learning that I am not God nor can I do what He alone is capable of doing.
Oh, Amanda ... I'm so terrified of public speaking. About a year ago I spoke at our church mother/daughter tea ... was scared to death, but felt so much peace once I started. I knew God was with me and helping me. I know if God is calling you to that, you'll be beautiful at it.
I am so thrilled ... one of my articles is going to be used by a Chinese Christian magazine! That's a huge "Yea, God!" Every time I get a new assignment, I think, "God, I can't do this." But God always enables me.
Oh, and to let you know about the Extreme Makeover ... the Galveston home makeover ... it will air Easter Sunday evening!! So excited to see if my girls are on there.
Love you!
But, you DO have a gift for writing my friend. You can choose words and put them all together in the most perfect way. Keep doing what you do so well. Love you.
Being my hardest critic. I am so quick to give people encouragement but so fast to beat myself down. It makes me feel like a hypocrite.
First - you do teach us. God uses your gifts mightily on both this blog and LPM's blog. You are an encouragement, a godly example and a teacher. Thank you.
Sure I know my calling, but finding myself waiting on God to make a way and open the doors. The waiting and then waiting so long I am now wondering...
We are all meant for different things. They were meant to teach (& God bless them - your mom has changed my life in ways I can't even describe), but you were meant for something else. And you're doing that something else by supporting them & making what they do possible. That's a powerful calling, my friend.
My inner struggle is patience. Patience in all aspects of life.
And by the way, whether you know it or not...you are a teacher! Do you realize how many people you have reached through this blog? You are teaching many people through your words and experiences. God is speaking through you even if you aren't standing in front of a crowd!
Hi, dear Amanda! I love the new picture of the four of you that is on your blog now. It's a great picture.
I don't have an answer to your question, not that you were really looking for one. :) But I think that you would know your Shepherd's voice if/when He was leading you to do something like teach. As you're surrendered to Him and listening, He would bring His peace and that inner (sometimes relentless) prompting that it's something He wants you to step out in. Does that make sense?
As for my inner recurring struggle, it depends on the season. :) Right now, it's the inner desire to do more with the blog (the writing, the connection with other bloggers, etc...) but how it takes away my focus from being a good momma/wife and is something that triggers some insecurity/comparison. But God is working in me! Praise Him!
I've been told I have a teaching gift, but to be honest, a lot of times I think, "based on what?"
I battle a lot with ironically the gifts GOD has given me, because its a pride issue and its hard for me to just "do it" and not think about the doing! I put too much weight on what I do (which is bogus) and not enough in the faith part, where GOD will do what HE wants to (you'd think I would have learned by now).
I loved in Esther, when your mom said that we are not responsible for the "how." That made a huge splash to me. I just show up for the what, and HE does the how.
Praise GOD
We all have inner struggles - that's a comfort to me in a strange sort of way.
Mine is with self-discipline/procrastination. I used to be able to control it because I'm such a people pleaser that disappointing someone was impossible, but now that I'm older and more tired, it's becoming a real issue. So much for age and maturity making us have it all together!
I think I have the gift of teaching but I wonder why God didn't give me the gift of SINGING. I hear people with gorgeous voices and think, oh God, I would have used my voice to glorify you, I WOULD!! I mean, you know, probably, I would've. Maybe. Maybe I would have been Britney Spears but PROBABLY I would have glorified God instead. But I guess we'll never know...
Oh, and my inner struggle? Reading blogs at 12:35am when I should be in bed.
Hi! First time to comment! First let me just say that I love your family... your mom has ministered to me in more ways than I think I'll ever know, and I went to college with your sister (she wouldn't know me, but of course everyone at Baylor knows Beth Moore's daughter esp when she went through Rush...poor thing!) BUT none of that is the point of my comment... ha! The point is that I have been wanting to tell you this and I guess I just should have, but when I saw this post I KNEW I had to get up the guts and comment. You may or may not be a teacher but you are MOST DEFINITELY a writer! Some of your posts are so much more than a blog, they are a work of art! If you haven't done so you should send off the post you wrote about Texas, the country vs. the city and all of the sights and sounds in between! It was BEAUTIFUL! I love it so! It should be published... you should be published! You have a gift of the written word and that you can be sure!! So if saying no to teaching means we get to read some of your creative "works" then I'm all for it!! :) Thanks for sharing your gift with all of us!!
Amanda...I LOVE that you know who you are!! Honestly, I think you walking in who God has created you to be is the most freeing thing you could do for women! That is a HUGE ministry and I am so so glad you are being that for all of us blog readers and friends. Keep being free to be you...and every now and then the Spirit of God just might lead you to speak, but He leads in peace and gives you the grace to do it...you know that :)
I am absolutely NOT administrative!!
Amanda, I'm glad you shared. Does it take more faith to know my place in the body of Christ and focus on the gifts you are given? You are assuming you are not gifted with teaching. I've sure learned a lot from you. Or does it take more faith to accept an invitation to fill a role I have not been gifted for? I think only God can reveal to you what your gifts really are, and then give you the faith and courage to do it. To not try something because you think you will not be good at it...I've done that too. People-pleaser too? check. Big check. I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore. My recurring inner struggle is similar; what are my spiritual gifts, I never took that "spiritual gifts" test. All I know is that I want to encourage others. I love it when I can see that I've explained something to someone where the light bulb goes off, their face lights up, and they are energized to seek after God or allow Him to change their life. What am I supposed to do in the Body of Christ? Well, only God knows, and He'll reveal it to me one step at a time I guess. Right now, my main ministry is my husband and Baby Girl Makenna:) Love them:):) Good question Little Momma, I'm glad you shared...
katiegfromtennessee
Inner struggle...insecurity.
I understand the people pleasing part because I do it too.
I don't have any words of wisdom (do I ever? don't answer that) but I hope that you're having a good day (night) :-)
Believing that I am failure because I cannot be the P31 woman that the world says she should be. You know - spend quality time with all three of my kids every free moment of my day, present myself joyfully and beautifully to my husband each day, not to mention praying for all of them daily, have a side business on Etsy, and keep a Southern Living home. Whew! Now that I said it maybe I can shake free of it!
I do have the gift of teaching. And I am a total extrovert. I have also always been an entertainer. I am actually pretty comfortable in my own skin. I don't struggle with feeling like I am not enough. I am typically not insecure. Not overly concerned with how I look or what others think of me. However,
sometimes wish I would just shut up and listen more. Be the behind the scenes person. The quiet one. For me it comes down to a struggle with pride.
The other inner struggle I have (that I now release) is why are all those games and zoos and farms on Facebook and why do people participate in them?
Not all teachers are in the front of a classroom, Miss Amanda. You ARE a teacher. I admire so much about you and have learned a lot from you, though I am old enough to be your mom.
My inner struggle? I enjoy teaching and have been told I'm good at it. But it feeds my unhealthy need for affirmation and I am always questioning my motives for taking on a teaching/leadership event. I do not always do it for HIS glory...
Melana
You know...God will open doors to speak and close when it isn't time...There's nothing wrong with being a Barnabas. Paul had a Barnabas. I have a Barnabas...and truthfully, I don't want to live without my Barnabas! Maybe you have a Barnabas' heart....You obviously have that kind of heart...look at your husband, your mom. God uses you SPECIFICALLY in their lives the way no one else could ever speak to them. BARNABAS. THAT'S A MIGHTY CALL!
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