Thursday, February 21, 2008

TWO

I'm only a few days into having a two-year-old, but this is my observation so far. It must be the best of times and the worst of times. (Janelle, did we have one conversation this morning about how great TWO is and then another tonight about how challenging TWO is with all the contrariness? Did I make that up?) I keep thinking, "Oh my! He's never been cuter! He's never been sweeter! He's never been more fun!" And then he grabs a stuffed toy out of my arm and says "Mine!" Or he starts his morning off by seeing if today will be the day he can hit Mommy. He's had two time outs for that every morning this week. Or he throws a temper tantrum for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL. I think that has been the biggest difference so far in this new, slightly more grown-up phase. The tantrums are seemingly unprovoked. There is no explaining them and there's no helping them.

Today our play group went to/braved Chuck E. Cheese. I told the girls that I felt like I had entered a new depth of motherhood having been there today. It was such a grown-up thing to do. I'd been before, but Jackson was really young for it then. Anyway, I took Jackson over to the prize counter as we were leaving to find something to get for his 67 tickets (most of which were won on the Spongebob gambling game). After I got us a Fun Dip (for me) and a rubber insect (for him), he threw himself down on the floor and had a fit. The Lord only knows why. I'm sure I picked the two items in the case that didn't appeal to him. I then had to carry him out screaming while the teenaged "security guard" verified our hand stamps. I made myself smile to keep from losing it. Then I carried him sideways to the car - kicking and carrying on. It was so ridiculous that I started laughing outloud...and then he did too. So maybe the theme of this year will be laugh it off?

Despite having had pizza for lunch, the Jones family picked tonight for our weekly trip to DoubleDave's. I had promised Curt we would go twice this week to make up for not going last week. I needed to be disciplined in my eating for the wedding and a pepperoni roll buffet was not exactly fleeing temptation. With the week coming to a close, I figured I'd better start making good on my promise. Janelle and Ella met us there. Oh, bless all those poor people sitting around us. Two two-year-olds screeching back and forth and having their unprovoked, unreasonable mini-fits. It is a lot to take. I need to remember though that every single hard phase we have entered has been just that - a phase. Nothing seems to last.

So I am resolving to enjoy this time because it will pass before I know it. Truly, my son steals my heart several times a day. He talks non-stop and is suddenly saying tons of new things. I can hardly believe my ears! He loves to run to me and fall into my arms. And I got an unsolicited hug and a very sweet kiss this afternoon. I keep thinking that this is my favorite stage and I'm going to let it be. I love that little Mister so much, I can't even stand it.

On Saturday Jackson and Ella are going to celebrate their second birthdays together. They are only two days apart and our guest list is basically identical, so it is the best way to have this party. I'm so excited. I will save all that for later, but I can't wait to show pictures of my boy in his birthday outfit. Not his birthday suit, mind you. I'm dying over his new hat and shoes. Hopefully at the party we'll be blessed with no tantrums and lots of those big, cheesy, toddler smiles.

49 comments:

  1. Laughing it off will save your sanity and your life!!! Do that as much as you can!

    You're a good momma. That darling boy will always have your heart. He'll drive you crazy 401 million times, but he has your heart.

    laugh it off!

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  2. Two is crazy fun. We have found that laughter is the best medicine for parenting.

    Chuck E. Cheese...What fun!

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  3. And that, my friend, is why God make them so gol-darned cute. There is a balance, yes indeed! And if he's like our first, you may have 30 time outs a day for a period of time. Or if he's like Tabor (our third), he may take this thing a bit too far and be 4 1/2 and still not "getting it." But with prayer and love and lots of smiles for the folks around you, you will do wonderfully. You are a good mom. Say it over and over--it is true! Chant it on the hard days. It will help.
    Love,
    holly

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  4. I just ate at Double Dave's for the first time and fell in love. Doughy, cheesy, pepperoni roll love!

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  5. Anonymous12:15 AM

    Oh, Amanda. Jackson is right in between my girls & this post was a sweet reminder of where I've been with my oldest & where I'm headed with my youngest. Helping them get from phase to phase is such an adventure!

    I hope Jackson's birthday party is fabulous!

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  6. Oh boy, do I remember those days! It is such a fun time, but you WILL be tired! It's hard to be consistent at that age because it seems like you are always getting on to them and you just get tuckered out!

    Have fun at the party. Speaking from experience, I would have no blue icing!

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  7. My first daughter is almost 2 1/2 now, and you described her to a T! I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this with one who's supposed to be a "sweet little girl". I guess 2 is a universal stage. And this week's been a particularly "woe is me" kind of week, which "Stepping Up" has helped me with a great, great deal!! So I'm being ministered to through the chaos. :0)

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  8. Oh, two. I miss it.

    Kind of.

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  9. Anonymous1:28 AM

    oh amanda, keep up the great work. parenting is hard work but oh so worth every single blessing.you have the perfect attitude: consistancy for sure but lots of laughs. i call it the parenting tension rope. i have continued to enjoy your blog for a quick reflection of when my 24,21 & 17 year old were babies. stay stong in the battle and have a blast.

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  10. Tonight certainly was eye opening to the new stage we have entered with two year olds. But they are memories I will treasure forever! I couldn't ask for anything better!
    I can't wait for their party Saturday!!!

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  11. When my first child was 2 (she is now 6), I cried most of the time because her tantrums threw me for a loop. I hated referring to it as the terrible 2's, so we lovingly call it the 'Cybil' years. Now that my youngest is 2, I am choosing to savior each moment because there are truly more good than bad. You have the right attitude to do that. It's such a special time - tantrums and all. And, honestly, who wouldn't want to be able to throw a tantrum now and then? I would! I'm envious really :)

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  12. It does pass! Thankfully. I did spend a lot of time in prayer during that age and I have another one about to enter that age in 3 months ... oh my! One thing we found is that the tantrums were WORSE when we gave it attention. If we just put him in time out and let him have it (a confined place like his pack-n-play) it was over a lot quicker than if we tried to reason with him or calm him. Once we started ignoring it they lessoned. I guess he decided if he couldn't get us then they weren't worth it.

    Good words though ... it is a phase and it too shall pass and another one will show up :)

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  13. oh the twos are so hard at times... but at least they are just pushing the limits for no real reason, learning how you react when they do throw a fit, and justexploring independence. It is the 3's that i found the most diffucult. It was out right defiance. I don't relaly know how to explain it, but in the year of 2 of just doing things because now at 3 they have found reason, seen how reacted at 2, and now are learnign to push the bottons. Not to scared you, but enojoys that 2 and YES laugh it off. It helps everyone and mostly you!!

    love you posts!! leigh

    Did tell you I just led a retreat that your mom was their last speaker. I was scared to death only to find out it was Beth in box - loving well!! hee hee I was not just ecstatic after hearing that, but at least they didn't have her cute self in their face in person. hee hee!! I am being silly!

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  14. You are obviously Toddler Mother of the Year after your splendid performance at Chuck E Cheese. Work on your acceptance speech 'cause you'll want to get it right in front of the crowd.

    Good job on the Fun Dip, by the way. Excellent choice.

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  15. Anonymous8:10 AM

    Every phase is a good one especially if you will allow yourself to enjoy it and not wish for them to grow up. As thousands have surely told you, they grow up way too fast. But I must warn you, one of my boys entered the "terrible twos" at 18 months and just came out of it in the last six months and he is a HS Freshman! You think I kid...

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  16. I loved this post for two reasons.
    #1. Purely selfish. It brought me back to a time when my first born was two. Everything was new and exciting and exhausting. I loved remembering.

    #2. Reading about how you just laughed while trying to wrestle a writhing two year old throwing a fit. The thought made me smile, because girl...it IS all you can do! Keep that, it will help you through SO much on the road of parenting!

    Love your blog!

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  17. The sweet part is they still steal your heart at 22, too. Enjoy each moment. He is just precious. There are long days too, but mostly it goes by very fast. I think I was more in love with mine each year, well, except that pesky senior year of high school. Blessings on Jackson and your family, Annette

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  18. Friend! I laughed so much when i read this post! The closer Titus gets to four the more predictable the fits are getting...amen! I have so many memories (and a list of places NOT to go) due to leaving, holding him sideway, him kicking and screaming! But all that said, Two and Three have been SO GREAT! I decided early on that the unpredictable rush of emotions we have during PMS and other unknown causes, is the same thing the two years olds are experiencing only with less communications skills! wouldnt that be awful! So that helped me a lot to "laugh it off!" We have focused on the fruit of Self Control. We have memorized, sang and talked SOO much about the need for Self Control. Just about everyday, we still say, at the come on of a fit, "Titus, think about your self control." or "Titus, ask God to help you have self control" and after all this time....i wish i could say his fits are controlled and he never hits and he is always so kind....but that is not the case! But it is SOOO much better! And he is developing (hopefully) a life skill of control.
    You are going to have so much fun with Jackson being 2! Yall will laugh your heads off this year more than ever! Amanda, you are an amazing mom! Love you friend!

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  19. Sister, I feel your pain...today is Cierra's second day of being three and I'm just convinced that she'll snap out of whatever was posessing her while she was two...maybe it takes a few weeks to set in. Enjoy this time with him though, it really is the best!

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  20. Ahhhh memories! My oldest son David didn't throw as many tantrums as his baby brother. Jason was a handful!
    Have a great party! Happy Birthday to Jackson and Ella.

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  21. Enjoy it, because the next thing you know, he'll be throwing a tantrum because you won't let him drive. *sigh* Every phase/stage has their ups and downs.

    While he's throwing a (seemingly)totally unwarranted fit, remember that somewhere close by, there is someone saying, "MY CHILD will NEVER do that!" And it will be exactly t hat person's child who does that and worse. *giggles* (I could fill your page with things my kids just "weren't going to do".)

    I can't wait for the birthday pictures and stories! I'm sure it'll be just absolutely precious :).

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  22. Anonymous9:44 AM

    2 is such a fun age. :) My son will be 2 and a half exactly one week from today and I can tell you the tantrums have gotten a tad better. He hasn't had a complete meltdown in the middle of Walmart in a couple of months! (Knock on wood.) Of course we've now moved on to attempting to smack the back of Momma's hand anytime she says or does something that he doesn't like. That isn't going over so well. :)
    Happy Birthday to Jackson!

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  23. Whoop! Double Dave's! :) We got one here in Longview and I did a jig as soon as I saw the sign (well, I wiggled in my seat since I was in the car). Pepperoni Rolls were 85% the cause for my college weight gain. Them and Freebird's burritos. But, I do still love them. And they are still awesome! Oh, and welcome to the TWOS!!!! You're right, it's a phase and you seem to be handling it just right. Good girl!

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  24. Oh, Amanda ... I'm laughing and cringing all at the same time! Having gone through the Terrible/Terrific Twos three times, I can tell you that many WONDERFUL stories will come out of this "phase" that will be told for years to come. You're right, it doesn't last forever (even though some days you will feel like there's no end in sight). I'd give almost anything if I could back up the clock and have a two-year-old in the house again.

    Praying blessings over you today.

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  25. LOVE, love, love these last two posts! Thank you for sharing and I am so happy all went well - the gag reel is too cute! Sunshine

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  26. Anonymous10:27 AM

    I feel your pain (and joy)! I hope that if the "terrible twos" start early, then maybe they'll end early, too??

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  27. Oh girl, the big 2. You know I think that 18 months is my absolute favorite age. Every child at that age seems to just steal my heart. I wonder if that is God's way of giving us the precious time before the two year old storm! :) I feel ya. I can also tell you you are so right in saying it is only a phase! It does pass. I have made it through two of these now and both have come through fine. I learned so much through this time. The Lord taught me so much about life. Just keep focusing on Him and He will get you through it all and teach you along the way. One thing I liked to remind God of on those particular hard days were that this child was HIS! Since He entrusted me with them He had to help me know what to do. :)
    Lifting a prayer for you! You can do it. You are a wonderful mom.
    Blessings,
    Angela

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  28. Oh goodness! Double Dave's pepperoni rolls! Grant and I LIVED off those things while we lived in College Station. Now you've got me craving them girl!

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  29. That specific Chucky Cheese that you mention brings back "some" good memories from my teaching career. After UIL contest I would take my 60 MIDDLE SCHOOL girls there in their choir dresses. They'd complain about it all the way there and then once they were there, it was icing on the cake! I had to take so many pictures in that dang picture booth. UGH. Happy Birthday Jackson! Don't hit your mommy today. :)

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  30. Nothing like a good Chuck E Cheese pizza to take away the stress of a two year old in meltdown mold.

    I have the thighs to prove it...

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  31. Anonymous10:47 AM

    Tell me you watch Boyz II Men on the Lyric show last night. IT WAS GREAT!

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  32. Being 2 years out of the terrible 2's with my youngest (I have 4), I can tell you with assurance, that it does pass...and it is better to enjoy it. ;)
    Can't wait for pictures! And how S-M-A-R-T to do both parties together!!
    You are going to be all partied out by next weekend, girlie! :)

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  33. I hear ya! My youngest is a few months away from being 2 and my oldest was 3 a few months ago...we got all kinds of tantrums going on and for no apparent reason! :) fun times.

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  34. Wow! Braving Chuck E. Cheese with a 2 year old!! Impressive!

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  35. Laugh and laugh and laugh again. It's the best way to survive this crazy journey called "motherhood."

    Plus, they really are pretty funny throwing those tantrums. What else can you do?!?

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  36. My four year old David (turned 4 on 12/24) had "Terrific Twos" my husband and I prayed diligently that God will turn those tantrum and terrible to terrific and God he did, we shall pray for Jackson, But LIO will not be a bad idea either, you're absolutely smart and full of wisdom for sucha young first child momma! I'm on my third child and barely firguring it out :), and still some days :)

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  37. We call those "monkey fits" in our house.They are so unpredictable, so funny and so happen in front of the people you DON'T want to witness them. Just when you think you know what you're doing as a parent, you realize that you don't....It's an ongoing exercise in humility. : )

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  38. Laugh it off! That's great advice! With or without 2 year olds!

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  39. Hang in there... What tantrum does not kill you, will only make you stronger. I have lost count how many tantrums (between 3 boys) I have been engaged in (well, I wasn't throwing the tantrum, although sometimes I wanted too) with my 3 boys. It gets easier and you will be able to smile about it, or "laugh it off"...

    Blessings as you celebrate your son turning two. He is adorable!!

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  40. Where the heck do y'all go to eat Double Dave's? PLEASE call us when you go again...that is Jeffrey's FAVORITE PLACE!

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  41. Anonymous3:42 PM

    My youngest turned 2 last month. 75% of the time she needs EATEN, the other 25% she needs BEATEN. Er, maybe it's 70/30.

    Chuck E. Cheese always sounds like so much fun. Then we leave swearing we will NEVER go back, so help us, Lord.

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  42. You guys are going to have such a fun birthday weekend! :) I was talking to a dear friend who has a two (in a month) year old that was having one of those "moments" while we were on the phone and she did the same thing! She laughed it off and then told me "Oh girl this will be you in two years!"

    Happy Birthday Jackson!!

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  43. I have said, many times "If you weren't so cute..." The second year is definitely a "roller coaster ride". They are trying so hard to stretch those boundries that we (as parents) have set before them. When you're in it, it seems as though it will last forever... But "this too shall pass" and all too quickly it will. Sometimes all you can do is laugh when you'd rather cry! I know your son is so blessed to have you as his momma. And I mush say that you are so brave for taking a 2 year old (boy at that) to Chuck E. Cheese... You go girl!!!

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  44. I have faced that phase four times over. We still tell the kids stories on them and laugh about it! Think of it as memory making moments! :-)

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  45. What a blessing to have already figured out that laughter is the best medicine.
    I am such a perfectionist and do not like to have all eyes on me so when my oldest would have a fit I would about die from embarrassment.

    Now with my second I realize that they really do grow up fast and that they go through many different stages.
    The two year old age is so much fun. It really does just get more fun with each passing day!
    ENJOY!!
    Kim

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  46. Anonymous1:54 AM

    I really enjoy the two's. With my girls anyway (and my friends have discovered this as well) the really rough age is three! My three year old switched personalities the day she turned 3!! (we're almost a month away from 4 I'll let you know if it switches back). My son is only 14 months so I don't know if this is strictly a girl thing...with my oldest son it was two. Take heart it is just a phase...

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  47. Amanda also keep in mind that they get their 2 year molars now and those suckers are mean. Temper tantrums are normal of course but if he suddenly seems to have turned into the Devil incarnate, give him some Motrin, aka "Sweet Baby Juice" and see if you get your sweet baby back within 30 minutes. If so, 'just say yes' and drug him from dawn till dusk till one cuts.

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  48. Chucky Cheese is bound to send ANY young child into a meltdown -- all that overstimulation!!

    My niece is 5. When she was younger, I used to think, wow, I can't wait till she's a little older so she can do (fill in the blank...) Well now she's old enough to do all those things, and that's nice too, but boy, looking back, two was the BEST year. Enjoy it!!! It goes SO fast!

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  49. I'm wishing you guys a very happy party and a great year with your two year old! (My little guy will be two in a few months!)

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