Jackson's two-year-old-ness continues to bring me to my knees each day but I am enjoying him so much at the same time. It's the best of times and the hardest of times. One of the frustrating things about this stage is that I know how much he understands now and how capable he is of doing what I tell him to do. It's like he has a big flash of brilliance but then the next minute he acts completely unreasonable. The other morning I asked him if he wanted cereal or toast for breakfast. He wanted Apple Jacks* and I happily began pouring it in a bowl for him. All the while he stood beside me and descended into hysterics, saying, "I want cereal (cersh)!" I kept telling him I was making it for him - and he could see it with his own eyes - but he just wouldn't be reasoned with. I was totally amazed. That same day he completely refused to sit on the potty at all.
On the other hand, Jackson has been extra loving with me lately and I have been eating it up. He has been a daddy's boy since about 18 months but I am reaping a very sweet harvest at the moment.
We had been preparing to tell Jackson about the baby for a couple of months. We regularly looked through the photo album of when he was a newborn and I showed him pictures of my round tummy so he could somehow comprehend that he had been in there before he was born. When we were around Kay and her family, we always talked about how Aunt Kay Kay is going to have a baby and Jayk is going to have a little brother. So on Tuesday night we were finally ready to explain that mommy has a baby in her tummy. I wasn't sure how much he understood, but the next night I asked him if he knew what was in mommy's tummy and he said, "A baby." We have had a lot of fun talking to him about it. (But not too much since it is so far away.)
"Jackson, is the baby a boy or a girl?"
"No, buddy, the baby is a girl!"
"The baby is a girl like Ella is a girl, and like Ava is a girl."
Smiles bashfully. "Oh!"
He doesn't understand yet that daddy doesn't also have a baby in his tummy. We really laugh about that but it is not going to be so funny when he asks someone else if they have a baby in their tummy.
I think the baby is the reason behind Jackson's renewed affection for me. Hey, I'll take it. It's been a while since I was the favorite. He has wanted to play with my hair and sit close to me on the couch. We've been rocking in the glider every night before bed and singing songs, which hasn't been our habit for a while. (Tonight we sang the "Boo Boo Song" and the "Go Away Snake Song." So much for the Sunday school songs.) I think this new wave of affection goes both ways. When I realized I wasn't going to have another little boy, it made me want to take in the one I have as much as possible.
I'm not sure how this story will come across as I write it, but I want to keep it in my heart forever. Last night we went to get some dinner at Pappasito's (which was being powered by a generator, by the way). I had been feeling like a slob so I decided to get a little dolled up. I even wore some big red dangly earrings. I normally don't wear dangly earrings because I don't particularly want them ripped out of my ears by my child. It had either been quite a while since Jackson had seen me look like that, or else he was totally mesmerized by the earrings, because he looked at me so sweetly. He grinned really big and just gazed at my face with so much affection in his eyes. My heart melted. There was nothing left of it. I got a similar reaction from his daddy, which made me feel really good. Pregnant Girl can use all the encouragement she can get from her boys.
My favorite time of day is when we pray with Jackson before he goes to sleep. We always ask him what he wants to talk to God about and he says the funniest things. For a while he wanted to pray about going on the potty, but this week he has wanted to talk to God about his cars and monster trucks. Even though when he prays, he basically just repeats after Curtis or me, it is still the sweetest thing in the world to hear. Half the time I have to peek just so I can see his little hands folded. It slays me. I just love him so much. Maybe the Father sees and feels something similar when we pray. The Holy Spirit says, "Repeat after me...Dear Jesus, I love you..."
*FYI: Our son loves Apple Jacks cereal and he calls it Apple Jackson. That's because when we realized he would say "Apple Jacks" completely clearly, we tried to use it to make him say his name correctly instead of shortening it to "Tachi."
"Jackson. Say 'Jackson.'"
"Say 'Apple Jackson.'"
It totally works! Tachi is the unfortunate byproduct of me calling him Jacksie, which is not a nickname I mean to call him or that I like to admit to calling him - it just comes out of my mouth. I know it's awful. I'm so ashamed.