Sunday, September 05, 2010

Helicopter Moms Anonymous

Hello, my name is Amanda. And I'm a helicopter mom.

I've recently come to grips with the fact that I may have - okay, I HAVE - some helicopter mom-ish tendencies. (If you've never heard this term before, imagine a mother who hovers.) At MOPS two years ago we had a great speaker who was describing this phenomenon and she said, "Who are the helicopter moms? Look around! They're you!" Her point was that women who sign up for MOPS are often cut from the same fabric as women who tend to go slightly overboard with their parenting.

Last week I read something about what helicopter moms are like at playgrounds and I had to admit that was pretty much me. And playgrounds are probably the place that brings it out in me the most. Listen, I love rolling my eyes and laughing at over-the-top-mom stories. I do not want to be, or to hover, in their company!

As I was telling my friend Missy last night, there is one half of me that is pretty laid back but the other half gets easily wound up about ridiculous things. I would like my phlegmatic side to win more, but my melancholy side really wants to be perfect, look perfect, and have a perfect environment. She will fight and strive and fight and strive until she's miserable. Phlegmatic Me is just too chilled out to get up and fight her off. (Actually, she must be winning tonight for me to be able to write this.)

Sadly, this can translate into me being too hard on my kids in public because I don't want someone to look at me/us and think _______. Later, this will translate to me pushing my kids too hard to _______ because it makes me feel _______ when they perform well. The words that describe this behavior are sick and pathetic.

If I don't yield to God on this perfection issue, I will project a performance attitude onto my children. Sure, I want my kids to succeed just like any other mom does. But this is not the way. Their character and the health of their little hearts and minds are so much more important.

Do I look at my own former academic accomplishments and consider that they came from a healthy place? Well, the first time I remember getting in trouble in school (there were very few) was when I threw away my spelling test in first grade because I'd gotten a B. So no.

We were with my extended family today and my Aunt Mary brought some videos of Christmases past. I got to watch my geeky fifth grade self do an array of early 90's dances while wearing Hammer pants. I was mortified. Oh, the pain of my husband seeing my tween shame! You know what's hilarious? We got in the car and Curtis told me how amazed he was at my awesome dance moves. He was dead serious. He said he wondered what could have been if I'd never become self-conscious. How sad is that? I admitted that back in those days I'd wanted to take a hip hop dance class but I was afraid of not knowing it all when I arrived in the class on Day 1. Sick, sick, sick.

This brings me to my next big revelation...the scariest moment of parenting is when you realize your kid is turning out just like you. I asked Jackson a question the other day and he said he was afraid of telling me the wrong answer. Help me, Lord Jesus. He is four years old. At least God is letting me see hints of this now. If I turned out this way without parents who pressured me, what will he be like if he has natural performance tendencies and a perfectionist mother? Lord, how I need your grace.

The weather is finally getting more bearable in Houston and people are starting to come out of their houses for the first time since the 4th of July. Last night we spent some time hanging out in the back yard. Annabeth made a beeline toward the play set ladder and climbed up on the platform. Curtis and I were a little flabbergasted. I should note that another aspect of my helicopter mothering is in regard to safety. But you guys already know that. I was completely freaked out seeing my 19-month-old walking around up there. Curtis and I were close by and she didn't try to do anything insane, so we relaxed a little bit. In fact, eventually I got my video camera and recorded her climbing the ladder. I said to the camera, "For the record, I never would have allowed Jackson to do this at this age." I was trying to get a grip on my issues and was proud of my progress! Three seconds later, she reached the very top...and fell through the ladder! The camera recorded my shriek but not the thud as she hit the ground. She screamed bloody murder for twenty seconds, but she'd landed squarely on her diapered bottom and was smiling again in no time.

I've always held a tight grip in playground situations. So far, no other mother has confronted me about my kids being out of control. We've been able to avoid the ER. But I've taken some of the joy of childhood away from my kids. Then I loosened my grip and watched my daughter fall through a ladder. I can only conclude that they can get hurt either way. I'm not completely sure, but I think at the end of the day they'd rather get some bumps and bruises and learn from them than be suffocated by a hovering, perfectionist mother. Balance is obviously the key and I'm praying for God to bring me to that place.

65 comments:

Meg said...

Wow I could not agree with you MORE! I am in the same exact place friend. I mean the exact same place! Thank you for this post, thank you for sharing...it helps to know that I am not alone!

Amber Cessac said...

This past Wednesday night as I was making my rounds and checking on the rooms, I spotted AB climbing on top of a toy that was well, not meant to be climbed on top of. The teachers had a close eye on her though and didn't let her make it too far in her endeavor. Let's see, mountain hiker? Tree climber? Skyscraper window washer? The options are a-plenty for your little monkey :)

Carrie Beth said...

How is it that you ALWAYS post something that I am mulling over myself? I have sons who are SO adventurous! It is hard for me to step back and just let them explore! I have mellowed a bit with each child, but I see the two year old trying to do the same things as the seven year old and it is hard to chain myself to the park bench at the playground.
I would say my home is where I relax the most and let them go.
I really struggle with the perfectionism stuff too!
Thank you, as always, for sharing!
Carrie Beth
cbmommymusings.blogspot.com

Tara G. said...

Well said!

MC Hammer pants are "in" over here- they even come in knickers.

Lynette said...

Oh my goodness, this is so my area of struggle, thank you for writing about this as it is both convicting and encouraging. Sometimes I feel like I am alone in this and actually do not always know how to put it into words. You did a great job.

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Been there, done that sister. I'm reminded of a line in Finding Nemo when Dori tells Nemo's dad (and this is a paraphrase) "If nothing ever happens to him, then nothing will ever happen to him." In essence, how will he learn and grow if he's never given the chance to be hurt or fail? That little line kind of set me free with my kids. In fact, our favorite response for the boys now is 'no blood, no foul'. So, yeah. Maybe we took it too far in the opposite direction.

Much love to you sweet girl. You'll find a happy medium!

psm260 said...

Fellow helicopter mom here, except mine are teenagers now. The main two times I can remember loosening my "grip" and letting them play are -- 1) I let them play on one of those merry-go-round things with kids at the park. It had rained, and there was water standing around the merry-go-round. The kids were all lying on their tummies, letting their hands fly through the water as they spun around. As a result of that, my kids got some kind of "bug" that was like a stomach virus that wouldn't go away. They'd get well, and a few days later get sick again. Finally had to get some medicine from the Dr.
2) I let them jump on a trampoline unsupervised while the parents visited inside the house. My oldest (7 or so years old) fell off because the 4 boys were playing "karate" while jumping together. Spent the night in the ER with a fractured arm . . .
Why is it that when we finally let go, something bad happens???! So I sympathize with you . . .

Pam

Amber said...

I love this. A Helicopter Mom. Wow, I had no idea there was a term for my sickness. LOL. Girl, I totally get this! Love it.

Annika said...

Amen, amen, and...amen. Such a great post, Amanda. So much I (and I'm sure many others) can relate to! Thanks for sharing.

By the way, not too long ago I commented either here or on the LPM blog about my mom, and how she was in her final days. She ended up holding on for awhile longer but finally passed away last Thursday. I just wanted to say thank you for your prayers and how much I appreciated it.

Oh, and ER visits are not always horrible. We were there a few weeks ago to get staples in my son's head, the night before he started kindergarten. Fun times! ;)

Karen said...

Oh my! Parenting is just plain hard no matter what our personalities are like. I feel that no matter what we do, we are going to pardon my french "screw them up in some way". As long as we put our trust in the Lord it will be okay. I am definitely a helicopter momma. It's just my personality. I do want to clarify one thing -- one of the scariest parts of parenting is sitting in the passenger seat with your child and their new driver's permit. Ask me how I know. Ha! OMG! Super scary! I wanted to let you know about an amazing book I found recently. The author reminds me of an older Joyce Meyer. This book is all about personalities and helps you to see what your personality is and what personality your child has. I found it in time to help finish raising my current teen and I am finding it helpful with my toddler. I wish I had found it earlier. The author is Florence Littauer and her website is classervices.com http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0800757378/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1854245090&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0MXM34QYSMDN3KGQ81QQ

Marc and Charity said...

I am the EXACT SAME WAY!

Julie Marler (Mammy) said...

Around here Pappy's favorite phrase when all the grands try something risky...."Don't worry - they'll only do it once!!" In other words, they'll learn from their mistakes or get hurt and not try it again! I was the more fearful one but he "makes" me allow them to do it on their own. Definitely makes more confidant and independent kids!
Mammy

bethany said...

You should start a whole new blog with the title of this post. I don't know a single mother that isn't this way in some aspect. I hover over Jak in basically EVERY social situation because I'm so afraid that someone will make fun of him or he won't act appropriately. I need to let go as well.

Kari said...

Two words in response to your post, Amanda . . . ME TOO!

Great post! Thanks for sharing it!

Kendra said...

Your candidness is refreshing Amanda...and here I thought you were going to talk about an overwhelming desire to take a ride in a helicopter ;)

Rikki said...

I read this thinking, "Wow! This is so me!!" and then looked at the comments and realized, it's not just you and me! Ha! Thanks for your honesty!

Cindy said...

This is a wonderful post! I was just reading a great article last week on helicopter parenting. I noticed this about myself a few years back and I've really been trying to move away from that and find a healthy balance. And it's not easy!!

Mrs. G said...

I think the fact that you realize what you are doing is half of the battle... thanks for sharing!

Andrea said...

I have read about helicopter moms, and I'm in the club, too, I'm afraid. The other day I decided to let my 22-month-old climb all over the playset at our neighborhood playground by himself (without chasing behind him myself, which I am way too big and way too old for!). Every time he got to the top area, I'd position myself in whichever "hole" (there are several) he seemed most likely to fall through. It was very stress-inducing for me, but he almost always went straight for the slide (which I don't worry about as much). I considered it a small victory from my helicopter-mom tendencies, even though I cut the session a little shorter than normal!

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

I struggled with this when my boys were smaller..what I learned was to let their dad handle the things I found scary and he just viewed as "boys being boys". Much easier not to panic when I wasn't watching..now I fight those same tendencies in different ways as I watch my boys go through their adolescence. Thank God we have the ultimate Father to hand our worries and fears over to. Praying for your trip and for your anxious heart!

Bobbie said...

I think you're a 'normal' Mom! I was a 'helicopter mom' (there wasn't a name for it when ours were little!) when it came to safety for sure, but I had a tendency to hover.

It sounds like you have a climber! I walked in the kitchen one afternoon to find our 20 month old son on TOP of the refrigerator trying to get a cookie! Needless to say the cookie jar was moved to the counter after that, but he always asked us to watch him climb! It doesn't surprise us now that he loves hiking and climbing!

Wonder what Annabeth will climb next?

O Mom said...

ummmm yeah. I try to act like I am not a helicopter Mom, but I totally am. I want to be that laid back, let em learn from their own mistakes ....but that is just so darn hard.....
Asking for Jesus to help too before it's too late.
My 16 year old would say it's too late....

annette said...

I, too, remember wanting my kids to be perfect particularly in front of my mother. One time, the kids totally called me out on it: "How come you're always so MEAN when we go to Me-mom's?"

I found that when the kids did Indian Princess and Indian Guides (an overnight campout with the dads only once a month) they had an opportunity to soar, something we both needed.

I'm proud of you--keep making baby steps in letting go. You're a good mom.

Becky said...

This is such a great post. I my first born is very shy and in most social settings becomes a human barnancle attatched to my leg. I have been struggling with finding the balance of giving her the security she needs and the right amount of "push" to gain confidence. We memorized Joshua 1:9 together and I use it when she gets anxious. I realize she is only 2 1/2, but I get so discouraged sometimes when I see how other children interact. Thank you for reminding me to bring this to the Father. This was just the "push" I needed to pray for her confidence, that she will be secure in who He made her to be! You have such a ministry with your blog. Thank you for your

Laura said...

When it really hit home for me was when I got angry at my oldest son at a soccer game because he was crying about loosing (perfectionist). I realized I was angry because this looked bad for me not because of what he was putting himself through. Know what that is? PRIDE.
Parenting my children IS NOT about me looking good. It is about raising godly men. Period. If I look bad along the way so be it ....For HIS Glory. That has helped me a lot.

Kristen said...

you should see me at the mem city castle...helicopter mom indeed! i probably look like a crazy person which is why we have only been a handful of times.

Amanda said...

Kristen, that's good to know! I'm laughing so hard because I do not even take my kids there. It's too much for me! Plus, one time Allison Cattan and I had lunch at that mall and we took Jackson down there for a few minutes. He had a record breaking diaper explosion. I haven't been brave enough to go back. Ha!

Amanda May said...

This made me cry...really hard. I can completely relate. "Safety" in all aspects of my life has kept me from ever breaking a bone & ever having my heart completely broken (don't get me wrong, I've experienced a ton of heartache...but never allowed my self to have a complete heartbreak). I operate out of self-protection in every are of my life - from the outside, it appears that it's worked pretty well for me...from the inside, it's obvious that it hasn't. I have two children (13 and 10) and they have VERY similar tendencies. I want so much for them to live life to the fullest, but certainly haven't shown them what that looks like. I guess the funny thing is that despite all my attempts to keep them safe and out of harm's way, they both have passions/hobbies that are completely out of my comfort-zone and I continually have no choice but to trust in the Lord for their safety. My boy (13)loves to ride quads & dirt bikes (fast!) and hunting (he's on a 4 day hunting trip with his daddy right now). My girl (10) loves to ride horses - she's been in english/western lessons since she was 6, but it's jumping on a horse bareback and riding fast with the wind in her hair that thrills her...she has fallen off & been bucked off many times.
Anyway, God is good and I am praying daily that He will supernaturally prevent me from stifling my kids' wild sides and allow them to live life abundantly, without a mom who controls their every move. And I'm also praying that maybe, just maybe, He'll redeem some of the years I've lost playing it safe.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart…you have a beautiful one.

Shelley said...

You have no idea how timely your post is. Thank you for sharing. God used you today to speak to me.

Kelly said...

I'm a TOTAL helicopter mom. Which is why I never enjoy play group. I can't talk to any other moms because I'm too busy monitoring Harper's ever move.
I love when you put my feelings into words on your blog!

Honeycutt Family said...

Thank you for your honesty, Amanda. I can totally relate to what you said!!!

Lydia said...

Oh how I can completely relate to this. I'm currently dealing with my oldest's (just turned 5) perfectionist tendencies. If he thinks he won't be able to do something perfectly, he won't even try to start with. I can place the blame squarely on my own shoulders for this one. I too am one who doesn't want my child to do something to embarrass me in public and I hate that about myself.
As for the helicopter parenting, I finally learned 6 months ago (my son was 4.5) that I cannot keep him from injury. He was standing literally within arms reach of me, in our living room and slipped in his socks, fell, and busted his chin open on our hardwood floor. He had to get 3 stitches. He wasn't even doing anything crazy or "boy-like"! Just walking. Though I will confess I went out and bought a couple of packages of those foam, puzzles mats and put them around our area rug in the living room in order to cover up a bit more of the hardwood. Thanks for sharing this!

Lisa said...

amanda, i couldn't thank you more for posting this. i was just reading this little book for new mom's suggested that we get out more and do more things BUT I'M AFRAID!! my little guy is 5 months old ... i'm worried about his sleeping, me being embarrassed, doing too much, too little, etc. perfectionism at it's best! i thought i was over this and then it was magnified in having a child. dangit!!! i was hoping for it to cured on it's own, ya know? that whole melancholy/phlegmatic thing ... wow. thanks for your honesty ... i know it's hard to admit but it helps me so much to know i'm not crazy and it helps me to see that God is working victories in me. thanks :)
lisa

ncmama said...

Great post, Amanda! I've become aware of my hovering tendencies too, but my kids are 6 and 8 now. I wish I had noticed it sooner. Praise God that kids are resilient, and I pray that He will bless them despite my parenting efforts. ;)

tiggerdaisy said...

This is the perfect sense of where I am right now!!! I've learned to pray and "let the hover" go for a time, but not before I have the hover sensation! hahahaha

Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca

Deborah said...

Praying with you. :)

annalee said...

thank you yet again for sharing such a powerful lesson! so true.

Spicy Magnolia said...

Does it sound cliche to simply write that I can really relate to this? I am the perfectionist, performance oriented personality type that hovers over her child wherever we are, out of fear of what other people think or for safety reasons. It's something that I pray about a lot: not wanting Brennan to be performance oriented like me.

Matt and I talked about this this morning and wondered what would help with the balance. I clearly am aware when I'm in different settings like the playground that I'm insecure or worrying about what people will think of my child (and me for that matter). Clearly I'm aware of it most times, but I forget to pray about it in that moment. I forget to ask Him to help me and to take those thoughts captive. I long to do better with that.

A lot of times it's wanting to keep a close eye on Brennan to help teach him how to play kindly with others. As I think about this issue in myself, I think I can best find the balance when I'm looking at my own heart and what my motives are. Is my hovering out of fear of something bad happening or what other people think? Or to keep a wise, watchful eye to help train Brennan? Just food for thought that I'm mulling over myself.

Peace of the Lord be with you, Amanda!

JottinMama said...

Oh Amanda. I can relate to so much of this. I too, fear that I am taking away some of the fun for my kiddos. Like you, I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old.

For example, we went to a science museum yesterday. Do you know what children do at science museums? They touch things, squish things, push buttons, play on equipment, etc. Do you know what mother's like me do in science museums? They carry around a rather large container of hand sanitizer. And anti-bacterial sanitary wipes. After the first few exhibits however, my husband insisted that I put those things away and let our little ones enjoy their day. And I'm embarrassed to say that it was REALLY hard for me. Lord, help.

And I'm the same way with play grounds....you are not alone :)

Have a wonderful week!

- Kate :)

Skubaliscious said...

Great post. I struggle with finding that balance, too...I've said MANY prayers asking/begging God to let my children turn out ok despite all my crazy parenting mistakes!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

You'll figure it out.

And I have cracked up over that story ever since you told me.

That and Jen's!

twinkle said...

I have stories of my own and know how hard it is to stop hovering. In fact, it just a tad on the impossible side. Love them and do your best.

I wanted to let you know that you will be in my prayers as you head off to Guatemala and serve Christ. I pray that God will bring you back to us not only changed, but inspired. I am looking forward to how He calls you to be His hands, heart and voice in His ministry you join Him on. You and your family will be in my prayers!

Reese Ray said...

whoa, this is really somthing for me to think about. Thank you for being transparent and sharing these thoughts! Your posts are always so good, and you're hilarious too! :-)

Colleen said...

You are not alone in this one. Your post really hit home with me. Especially the part about over-correcting your kids in public. It reminded me of a time a couple of years ago when my daughter (probably 4 at the time) was dancing at VBS, and I thought she was getting a little too silly with the older girls and not paying enough attention. (How dare she break into freestyle moves and pass up the hand motions?). Anyway, I told her that she needed to calm down a little bit at the music time (this sound so much more ridiculous as I type it). The next day, she went back, and when they stood the kids up to sing and dance, she stayed in her seat. Her teacher went over and told her she could stand up, and it was then that she said, "My mom says I'm not allowed to dance." I could just die!

So thanks for the reminder that I'm not alone, and here's one back at you that neither are you!

Susan B. said...

I know I was a helicopter mom. But now I am learning another term for me - Velcro Mom. According to a Today Show spot, those are the ones that hang on after their kids go to college. I have a senior in HS and I can see how quickly I could matriculate :) from a helicopter mom to a Velcro Mom when he heads to college next year - especially since he is an only child. Only by the grace of God will I be able to balance the act of being involved and hands off at the same time!

DWin said...

I was/am a helicopter at playgrounds. But, even with me watching, my son at 13 months old fell off and broke his arm. I was 2 feet away. In our own backyard. I think our kids are going to get bumps and bruises no matter our efforts. So, I've let up some since then (6 months ago) and my kids are much happier playing outside now.

Bethany at 3SonsPlus1 said...

Right on, Amanda! Great post!

Rhonda said...

Amanda - I'm you. In your mom's post about jury duty the other day she mentioned how yoy're always a strict rule follower and now this post. I think our position as oldest child in the family tends to lead to these traits. Take heart though - my daughters now 21 and 24 grew up beautifully despite my helicoptering. I remember being amazed once when a friend and I took our children on a picnic in the woods and her children were roaming and climbing while she sat peacefully and chatted with me. God sent us two little boys through adoption - they are now 5 and 9 and I'm 48. Age has mellowed me a little bit but I still struggle with the perfection issue. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know that I'm not alone in this struggle.

dgsandbjsmom said...

I am the total opposite. I want my kids to be able to succeed without me always be on top of them. This probably comes from growing up with some helicopter Mom's who drove everyone nuts and well is one of the reason I hate church to this day. My kids are typically nasty at the end of the day due to the dirt they get into and at 2 and 4 I even allow them to play in the yard alone.

Amy said...

Amanda -
May I say, I love you! :) You are so open and honest and you say exactly what I am feeling a lot of the time. I tell my hubby all the time that everyone lives the same way, no one just wants to admit it. :)

Wander said...

From one helicopter mama to another....it's ok!
I'm at the other end of the hovering stages. Mine are high school & college.
I worried myself about the kind of people they would turn out like (thanks to my catching every tear)....and now I see.
I didn't mess them up nearly as bad as I'd imagined! :)

Something that really touches my heart is how deeply they feel. They are (all 3) very compassionate and self aware!
Let me encourage you.....keep loving them and doing what works for your family.
I learned way back when...I had to do what it took to make my family work.
And....if you're feeling the nudge to back off a bit, listen to that.
They will get hurt....but they'll have you to love on them afterwards!

Praying for you on your trip!

Susy said...

I had never heard the term! Any chance we can get that tween video on your blog? J/K!! LOL!

Erin said...

Amanda, thanks for sharing this post. It made you very vulnerable, but now we know how to pray for you. :)

Amber Smitherman said...

A friend of mine is the same way and I'll tell you what I told her. By being this way, you are telling God that you do a much better job than he does of taking care of these children and they are safer being under YOUR control. If you don't relax and show Him that you trust HIM, he may just show you how 'in control' you are with a situation you aren't prepared for.
Let go.... and let God. He loves your children MUCH more than you do :)

Becky Kiser said...

thanks for writing this amanda! even though baby girl is just 3 weeks old, i already saw this coming out in me just this past weekend. so thankful for your honesty!

Dionna said...

I about shrieked just picturing your daughter fall through that ladder!

I think I'm a bit of a helicopter-mother too. Just a bit. Okay - maybe a moderate.

Teena said...

Praying for you as you travel with Compassion. I am so excited to follow and pray. I hope I do not bother you with all my tweets!

blessings,
Teena

Anita K said...

"Hovering" evolves - now with online monitoring at my 15 year old's private high school I am watching every step - behavior, missing assignments, grades etc. Still trying to save him from harm he can't see. :)

Cheryl said...

Such a great post Amanda. I was totally baffled by how well I can relate. My husband has been so perfect for me with this, he has really helped me to relax and not be such a "helicopter mom." ;) Recently during my quite time with God I read that He has our days numbered before one of them came to be. Though I've read that so many times before, it actually clicked with me this time. God is in control...over EVERYTHING (when my kids get hurt, when my kids die etc)I have felt a huge relief since God brought this to my attention. :) He is so good! Please keep up the great posts, they are so encouraging!

Lisa said...

This is an awesome post! Thank you for making me stop and think about my own life and parenting.
God bless you!

Melody said...

Oh boy. I can't tell you how much of this post I could have written myself. It hurts! I think I am always so worried about my kids inconveniencing someone else (with their loud voices, running around, etc) that I pretty much allow them to enjoy nothing. Grocery shopping is the worst. I always insist my 6 year old daughter stay in the cart (when she'd MUCH rather walk with me) and my 8 year old son is not allowed to jump around, twirl or touch a thing. When did I become like this?? And it becomes this INCREDIBLY stressful, nerve-wracking time, and I inevitably end up paying my bill through clenched teeth because I've pretty much had it. This is so not healthy and the last thing I want to do is rob my kids of their childhood. This is what being a kid is all about! Having fun no matter what boring activity you're doing, and finding the joy in everything! Kids touch stuff- I need to deal with it. As long as they're not knocking down jars of spaghetti sauce I think I can lighten up a bit. Thank you for this reminder.

Katie said...

I'm so glad you wrote this post. Eek, I think I'm a helicopter mom... Ugh! Such a hard pill to swallow! I want to give my babies so much and that leads me to over-control so many (all?) situations. I don't know if I know how to do the happy medium.... You are absolutely right in the last part...about which is worse. Thanks for pointing it out...you got me thinking. :o)

Heather - On the Road... said...

Oh, you so aren't the only one who is trying to find this balance....

Imagine my horror when I have realized that my 6yr old son has picked up on my anxiety and worry about everything. He worries incessantly about everything... one thing scares him and then everything does.

I take medication to help ward off some of the anxiety - but I make his worse probably by trying to control everything he does. It's to the point now that he doesn't want to try riding his bike, even with training wheels... one because he is afraid to try, and two because other kids his age are off the training wheels. (You know what? Those are my fears too, for him.... ugh!!!!)

Praying for balance and a laid back attitude for me and for him!

Thanks so much for sharing your heart here!

Kelli said...

When can I join?? Support group needed ASAP!

And the worst of all is now that C is in a big girl bed... I can't sleep. I just IMAGINE horrible things she can do at night. And I am not there to hover. Lord help my wild mind.

katiegfromtennessee said...

Reading about what a helicopter mom is, I'm trying to do some self examination, wishing that I would not do that either...Not visiting the ER has to be a plus...I see what you are saying about balance here, Lord help us all:) We NEED it!

I have been praying for you in Guatemala:) Blessings,

katiegfromtennessee