Monday, December 10, 2007

Daddy's Boy

I may have had the world's best Sunday morning. It was absolutely wonderful. Other than the fact that Star and I were dressed almost exactly alike and Curt thought it would be awesome to keep pointing it out (and I pointed out that we both had it goin' on), our only snafu happened while we were walking home after church.

Curt had his truck there since he had gone to Whataburger to get taquitos for our students. So he walked Jackson and me outside and left us in the freezing cold mist to go drive the 1/10 of a mile home. As soon as Curt left us, Jackson started wailing and flailing in his stroller. I must admit that I had misjudged the low temperature and my child wasn't wearing a jacket - only a heavy wool sweater. It appeared that Jackson was screaming because he was terribly cold and disturbed by the mist. A horrified family saw the spectacle of my disgruntled toddler preparing for his cruel journey home and they offered to give us a ride. I declined, thinking that my cute polka dot umbrella was going to make it all better. It totally didn't. In fact, I could hardly walk forward with it since the wind was blowing so hard. The wind was also doing a number on my skirt. Go go gadget third arm!

By this time I wised up and realized that Jackson was crying because his daddy had disappeared. He literally cried until we got to the house and he saw his dad pull up in the truck. Then we loaded up and went to our pastor's house for lunch. On the way there, Curt had to run in a friend's house for a minute and Jackson started wailing and flailing again! He has always had a special relationship with his daddy, but I have never seen him act this way. It was really sweet but also kind of unsettling. He would not be comforted by anything but the sight of his dad.

I read in Dobson's Bringing Up Boys that sons go through a critical time (after 18 months) when they separate from mom and begin identifying with dad. I've been seeing lots of clues that it's happening and I think it accounts for what happened today. It makes me feel proud that my son is growing up and becoming a little man, but it also stings just a little bit when he prefers his dad. Oh well, such is the lot of a boy mommy.

In other Jackson news, he is learning all kinds of new words. Our favorites of the last week are sick and poo poo. And - oh my word, mark it down in
the baby book - he answered yes today when I asked him a question!

My loves.


Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

Yes IS a big accomplishment! The only words I can get out of mine is NO, NO, NO...

Ang baylis said...

I'm glad you realize he is being a normal little boy! I know it hurts as a mother, but not to worry, this is a short phase. You are a great mother. You are also a sweet siesta to this girl from Michigan. THANK YOU so much!

Love you,
Angie xoxo

Teri said...

I have two boys and I can attest to the fact that BOYS LOVE THEIR MOMMA'S!! He will realize that you keep his world on it's axis, and he will be Mommie's boy again soon...
Amanda, he is a doll, and from what I read on your blog I can see that you are a great Mom! Keep having fun!

Anonymous said...

Amanda, I know what you are going through with your boy and daddy. I have two boys and it did happen, that they both prefer daddy. Don't lose heart. They come back and they love mommy deeply too.

At night though, it's "goodnight dad, I love you" (really sweet) then off to bed with nothing for me. :( When I comment about it; it's "love you mom" (real fast and not as sweet) :( Hang in there! Where would our families be without us mommies. :)
Love ya!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Was Curt as amazed by this new side of Jackson as you were? Because when my son started to transfer his affections to my husband, Corey was completely amazed and charmed by it all. It was a delight for me to watch the two of them together. (Still is, actually.)

Janelle & Ella said...

That is so sweet. Reading this makes me want to have a baby boy so Heath can have that amazing bond too!

Stacy ( said...

Have no fear, Jackson will still have a tight bond with you. It's just different, but you will be his first love. My son (who's 5) loves to do man things with his dad and thinks his dad is the coolest, but I'm who he comes to when he hurts himself or just wants to cuddle.

Patty said...

This is becoming one of my favorite reads on Monday! You are so funny and I think you should write a book about your Sunday happenings!
Being a mom of two boys I can relate. Let me offer you a little encouragment. My two are 19 and 17 and they love their momma. When I had boys I thought we might not be as close as a mom and daughter would be but I was wrong. We talk about everything and even as old as they are, they hug me every day and tell me they love me.
I know this will be the same with you and Jackson!!
Have a great Monday!

Longmeadow Mama said...

I think it's so neat that you can walk to church. You've mentioned that several times and each time it takes me back to my childhood when I would visit my grandparents. They lived close to their church and I always looked forward walking there hand in hand with my grandma on a Sunday morning. It's one of those memories that warms my heart and guess that's why it strikes me whenever you mention your walks (the good and the bad)to church. Thanks for the stroll (pardon the pun!)down memory lane.
Blessings to you and that daddy's boy of yours,
Kelli in Ohio

Susan said...

All three of mine belong to their daddy...and they are 17, 16 & 11. When Sarah ran off the volleyball court after having been named to the all district tournament team, who did she run right by (me) and straight to and threw herself up into his arms? Her dad. THEN she turned to me for hugs and kisses. The traitor. Who has wept and prayed and wept again for this girl??? ME! I bear no bitterness. lol. Truly I don't...I LOVE that she is daddy's girl. I know she's also Mommy's girl.
Loved the pic of your favorite men.
Hugs and blessings!

CrownLaidDown said...

Well, I will keep praying for you on Sunday...

Oh, that time is hard when your son starts crying every time Daddy leaves. Our 9 year old still sits on the fence to watch for Chris to come home in the evenings. It is precious! But, they do love their Mamas, oh yes. That is when they get kind of tender and then embarrassed afterwards that they were little like little boys again.

Jackie said...

How sweet- though I know a bit bittersweet- we want them to be momma's forever! I am noticing this with Sara- I love the growing up part, but sometimes just want to freeze time for a bit! Some days she is getting so independent and doesn't "need" me to help her- it is just eye opening how quickly they grow and change. We can be thankful that he has a good relationship with both mommy and daddy and loves them both so much- not a bad problem to have! :) Have a good day!

debra said...

I have really found that even though the boy loves his daddy he has a special love for his mommy. Or mom these days. Snuggling with my 8 year old man boy is so refreshing.

Anonymous said...

I remember that as well. My little guy is now 5 and is such a joy. He, too, around 18 months became his daddy's boy. I had read it in Bringing up Boys as well and was not surprised. He still wants dad mostly unless he is sick or sad then he wants mom. I have a 2 year old little girl and she is all about me, unless she is sick or sad then she wants daddy! It is too funny.

Kathleen in TX said...

You must stay up after everyone's asleep like I do! Right now my son is a year old and VERY clingy to Mom! At this point it's kinda nice to look forward to the Daddy phase...although I'm sure it will sting a bit when it happens! Don't you love that first answered question! The start of actual conversation has begun.

Anonymous said...

Man, oh man, do I ever love those two men of yours, too! I don't remember seeing that exact picture! Priceless! I'll take that in a frame for Christmas.


Anonymous said...

I remember going through this same stage with my boy (he is 9 now). He and his dad are so close and I can never thank the Lord enough for giving my children a godly daddy. It is the gift that keeps on giving!

Fran said...

There is nothing sweeter than that picture! I do feel your pain though. Having 3 boys, I see them (and me) go through this same situation. However, there is something truly special between a mom and her boy!

And, I'm glad your Sunday was smoother than the last. Believe it or not, the sweet Lord put you on my heart yesterday! :)


Abby said...

that is bittersweet for glad you are blessed with great boys...that picture says it all :)

Anonymous said...

It's so funny you wrote about this. My son Joshua who will also be two in Feb. is doing the same thing with my husband. He falls down at the door when my hubby leaves and cry so hard. It breaks my heart! When Daddy gets home it's the sweetest thing ever he drops whatever he's doing and screams "Daddy,Daddy!"

connorcolesmom said...

My oldest is a BIG daddy's boy.
He really has been since birth :)
It is great that you are already reading Bringing up Boys by Dobson because it really sheds some insight into the little boy world.
You are a great mom and such a sweet person.
God bless,

Anonymous said...

funny you should mention this as i nearly posted a comment on your thanksgiving blog concerning the uncanniness of the pictures of your two loves....look at them all and see how Jackson is doing what Daddy is doing....when they are in the same picture, Curt is tinkering with something and Jackson is equally absorbed in his own father,like son...i didn't say anything because not having children of my own i don't trust some of my observations...but check it out for, jellybeans' cousin aka anonymous

MamaCass said...

Tobey has been going through the same phase. He walks around the house calling for daddy and he is obsessed with daddy's truck. He doesn't even care when I leave for work anymore. He just smiles and says bye-bye. It does sting a little but it is a kind of new freedom too. Of course Rodney is loving this new attention and I am so proud for this new relationship developing between them. That picture of Jackson and his daddy is precious!

Beau, Melissa, & Brynne said...

I love that picture! I wish more men in this world identified positively with their dads. Curt is an amazing Daddy!

Beau, Melissa, & Brynne said...

I love that picture! I wish more men in this world identified positively with their dads. Curt is an amazing Daddy!

Mommy Dot Com said...

OK, you said the magic words "little man" and I am compelled to post for you a little country song I wrote the words for - well, a country "want to be" song b/c no music has been written for it but you can hear music with a little imagination as you're reading.

"Little Man"

You came out small
But I saw such strength in your hands
You were just a baby
But I saw something about you that was all man

You liked getting dirty, You liked to play ball,
You didn't wince at trouble, you didn't care how hard the fall
You left me in a contant panic
but I learned to adjust
Being a momma to a little man is nothing short of
A must

A must to learn when to let go
A must to learn not to cry
A must to learn to smile
when your really screaming on the inside
A must to learn to pray
Asking God to have His way
In your life

I tried to keep you safe
Out of the way of cars
Letting you climb trees
But not letting you go too far
I put off getting you that skateboard
So you wouldn't break an arm
And when dad took you hunting
I about bought the farm

I always called you my little man
I fancied the part that said little
You took to the part that said man
You left me in a constant panic
But I learned to adjust
Being a momma to a little man is nothing short of
a must

A must to learn when to let go
A must to learn not to cry
A must to learn to smile
when your really screaming on the inside
A must to learn to pray
Asking God to have His way
In your life

I tried hard to stop it
But you went and got grown
I'm no longer worried
About broken bones
Things like your hair,
what you're wearing
Or you not shaving
No longer bother me
Others worries now tempt
My heart to ache
I want to save you from costly mistakes

I look at you son
I see you're all man
I see that you are strong
I see how tall you stand
You're leaving me now
But I've learned not to panic
I've learned to adjust
Because being a momma to a man
Is simply a must

A must to learn when to let go
A must to learn not to cry
A must to learn to smile
when your really screaming on the inside
A must to learn to pray
Trusting God will have His way in your life

Ashton said...

what a precious son you have! Those eyes, that are blessed though he is leaning toward his daddy, normal. He is still your little man. one day...paint brush in my hand! Allison

Darlene R. said...

It is hard to see them prefer daddy over you, but he will soon decide that you're still pretty cool too! My five year old went through that, but he is my boy most of the time. Keep in mind though,there are times that you can use this phase to your advantage... not that I ever did that. ;)

Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful little family!

Much love,

Lindsee said...

Too, too cute! Loving the picture. Jackson looks so happy!

Brittani's Holding Little Hands said...

I'm in the same boat. Park prefers Chris over me hands down. He has actually started telling me "Just the boys, Mommy" when I try to play alongside him and Chris. Nevermind the fact that my body BIRTHED that child! But, I have to admit I do love watching the two of them together.

I'm holding on to the fact that he will come back around someday. And until then, I'm taking advantage of the "free time":)

I love the pic of Jackson and his daddy. He is a total doll.

Cathy Davis said...

I have 2 daughters. I was always a little disheartened when each wanted to be a Daddy's little girl :(. And why does he get to be Daddy and I lost the mommy title? :(. *sigh*

Angela said...

You have given me some encouragement believe it or not. I am due with our second child right around the time Charles will be going through this stage. It will be perfect timing for me as I will be tending to the newest family member. I'm sure he will love getting to spend more time with Daddy and I will just patiently wait for him to come back to me, and hopefully that will be just about the time I ween the baby. :-)
Love the picture. Merry Christmas.

Heather said...

They do come back to mommy! At least my oldest has - semi come back that is. My youngest is 19 months and is showing signs of being a "daddy's boy" too! I'm gald that I had read Dobsons book as well or my heart might have hurt more :) Course Daddy's heart was hurting for the early months when only mom could soothe and daddy really wanted to be able to soothe. Now he gets his time :)

The Williams said...

I can't believe he is getting to be such a big boy. I can actually remember the first time I babysat him...he was so tiny.

Boundbrooklane said...

So. . what were we wearing alike? I can't remember!

Jackson is precious and your family is so adorable!


kari said...

hey girly,
little t is beginning to do the same things...crying when danny leaves for work or even leaves the room. he walks all around the house looking for him until he finds him. it blesses my heart so much to see him love and need his daddy like that! Merry Christmas from NC. Miss you... May be we'll get to see you in April at my sis's wedding! k

Amy T said...

Sweet picture! You are blessed (as you know).