Thursday, August 07, 2008

Five Minutes

Five Minutes...the amount of time it might have taken a handful of unidentified perps to wrap my house with toilet paper last night at 11 p.m.

I was in my living room when Beckham started growling and barking. I thought maybe it was just a cat or a possum or even an armadillo outside, but he was so unsettled that I made myself go look out the window. (I was kind of scared and didn't want to face it.) Imagine my surprise when I peered out the curtains of my office and saw that my house was getting wrapped. Seriously? Are Curt and I thirteen years old? Or even seventeen? Are we not parents, which automatically makes us dorks to anyone under the age of 21? I did not get a good look at the people before they saw me waving at them through the window and ran off. In hindsight, I wish I would have set off the panic alarm and scared them a bit. Today I have a little better sense of humor about it, but last night Pregnant Girl was not very happy about having to clean up the mess without the help of Hubs. When he gets home tomorrow he can climb the ladder and get the Angel Soft out of the tree. Sorry, neighbors! So, anyone out there have something to confess? I have a few theories. Or maybe they had the wrong house, which would make more sense.

Five minutes...the amount of time I was left alone in my doctor's office today thinking that my baby's sweet little heart had stopped beating.

Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. This is the point where you start believing you are actually having a baby and stop holding your breath for something bad to happen. After doing my time in the waiting room, a nurse I hadn't met called me back into the office. She took my blood pressure, weighed me on a very forgiving scale, squirted gel on my tummy, and waved the magic wand around to find the heartbeat. She went all over the place, taking her time. There was nothing. More looking. More nothing. After she had covered all the surface of my lower abdomen, I groaned, letting the thought actually enter my mind that we have lost the baby. The nurse put away the instrument, helped me sit up, and said, "Someone else will be in to help you." Then she left. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't speak or ask any questions. I knew someone else would double check her findings and then talk to me about my impending miscarriage. I can't even tell you what I was feeling. (Well, helpless and desperate to turn back time. Grateful that my mom was only two minutes away in case something like this happened.) Maybe you've been there and you know. About three minutes passed and I nearly ran into the hall and yelled for someone to come in there right now and talk to me about this. Come on now! How are you gonna leave someone all alone in the room like that? On the fourth minute I called Curtis at camp in Missouri and whispered, "Babe, they couldn't find the heartbeat." He was astonished and heartbroken. I told him to pray and that I would call him back after the person "came in to help me."

A minute later a very cheerful and sweet lady came into the room and said, "Hello! How are you doing? I am so-and-so!" Half of me thought this was the most inappropriate greeting of all time and the other half of me realized she must know something I don't if she could be that chipper. In a shaky voice I answered, "Well, I am really freaked out right now because there was no heartbeat!" Then she basically explained that she was the real pro in the house and that her instrument was going to find the heartbeat. If not, I would have an ultrasound. Sure enough, she found it right away, thank You Lord Jesus, while I was dialing Curtis to let him know he could stop freaking out. Man, what a long five minutes. What a swing of emotions. I could hardly pull myself together and speak to her coherently. She also told me that she thought I was having another boy, which may or may not have been her and/or God's way of comforting me after my five minutes of emotional turmoil. A few minutes later the doctor would come in to meet me. I asked God to help me get it together so that I wouldn't appear like the emotional wreck that I was. I would save my tears of relief for when I got to the car.

On a lighter note, I already love my new doctor. I don't know how much I will say about him just in the interest of my own privacy, but I am so happy about where the Lord has led me. He is a man of God and seems to be a wonderful person with a wonderful family. He told me he stopped counting the babies he delivered after 30,000. Holy Moses! He visited with me for about twenty minutes, asking me questions about myself and my family and telling me about himself and his family. I feel like I'm in very good hands.

So today I am very relieved, very thankful that everything is okay. My heart is also really tender because I can name off a whole list of friends who have been devastated in their doctors' offices and have not had their fears relieved - some more than once. Others much, much, much farther along than me. Even one who will soon mark the fifth year of her precious daughter's passing only days before she was due. I am so sorry for everyone who has gone through such a loss, for everyone whose hope deferred has made them heartsick. (Prov. 13:12a) I pray that if you haven't already, you would know your longing fulfilled and that it would be like a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12b)

86 comments:

Melissa said...

Your post has me wiping away tears. I'm so thankful that Baby Fig is doing okay but like you, have had my heart broken for dear ones who have not been able to feel such sweet relief. Here's to a healthy several months ahead for you AND baby!

Stephanie's Mommy Brain said...

Sorry you had one of those breath-holding appointments. They aren't fun. I've had one of those moments that turned out fine and I've lost a baby before I ever got to the dr. It's not something I'd ever wish on anyone!! On a lighter note, have fun cleaning up the TP!

Melinda said...

Praising God with you for the precious beat of that little heart and His continual covering over the months to come.

Hugs,
Melinda

Julianne said...

Sweet Amanda,
Thanks for your post today. I was just reading along, swept up in the drama you've experienced in the past 24 hours, wondering why I care so much about someone I've never even met! (And boy, do I care!) Then all of a sudden, there at the end, when you were encouraging those who've lost a baby, it hit me. That's me! My little boy would have just turned 13 years old, had he not gone to be with the Lord when he was only an hour old. Amazing how the tears just started flowing with your tender words of encouragement. It was a good cry and I haven't had one for my baby in a long while. Please know that the LORD is using you today.

Amy T said...

Wow! How scary! I am so happy for you that it turned out ok. this post brought tears to my eyes. I went through one weekend of spotting at about that same time in my pregnancy and it was very scary, but then I never had any other problems after that. For Mommies, what tender area in our hearts.

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

Turns out we were having very similar experiences today. :)

Holly said...

Oh sweetheart, I am sorry you had to go through that. I really am. I have tears thinking about those few minutes. I have had the very same thing happen to me and remember all the emotions (really the ok, how do I pull myself up by the boot straps with this one?).

And yet, what I feared has never happened.

I am sorry for those five minutes today. I am praying on my knees for you and baby boy this very minute. Also, I am praying for the ones you mentioned, who didn't get good news. Makes me LONG for Heaven so very much!

You are dearly loved!

connorcolesmom said...

Ok I went from giggling at the thought of you peeking out the window and scaring those kids to death
to crying over the thought of losing your little fig baby

I had the same scare with my second child - it is almost as if you can not breathe for the entire time you wait
Waiting for someone to tell you it is OK
Waiting to hear that precious sound of the beating heart!
And another boy -that would be awesome
You should be finding out real soon maybe you will know in time for SA :)
Blessings
Kim

Judy said...

Praise God! I think the heartbeat of the in utero baby is the sweetest sound EVER created! It's been over 18 years since I've heard it. Maybe I'll get to hear a grandchild's someday....

whittakerwoman said...

I just kept reading thinking... There is no way she is going to start off a blog about her miscarriage with a TP story. THank God your little "guy" is going strong! H

A said...

Thanks for sharing, Amanda. Both stories.

~Amy7634

Dori said...

Oh Amanda...

As one of those whose hope has been dashed not once but twice, I can tell you from my own personal experience that while I still grieve -- always will -- it makes me more sensitive to those who also travel that road but it also thrills me more than you know when that little thumper is found and hope lives on.

If I am indeed His, I choose to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice!

I rejoice with you today, sweet girl! That sweet child is no better hands -- here on earth and in heaven above!

Blessings,
Dori

twinkle said...

Hey, I actually know a guy named Fig. And his last name is Newton! Fig Newton! I think it's so funny that your mom calls your baby fig.
And I am so glad the pro finally showed up to do the ultrasound. I'm sure it was a nightmare. I'm thinking about the toddler airplane trip, Mr. Ed, tp roll job, new obgyn doc stress and then the ultrasound craziness! Man, you need a siesta fiesta!
Praying God's blessings on you, one after the other!
And I really hope you had fun with the horses when you visited your in-laws...

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

So glad everything turned out to be o.k. at the doctors office! I now how long those five minutes felt.

Shabby Mama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelly said...

That last part made me cry because I have the same feelings. I ache for any woman who has ever lost a child along with those that can't get pregnant.
I have heard so many stories of going in and the baby not being there that the same thing happened to us. Couldn't find the heartbeat and we had an ultrasound instead. Those few minutes between the two when the doctor left the room (I had to switch rooms for the ultrasound) were horrible. I made Scott pray with me. And I cried when we saw the baby on the screen. I'm thankful all was well today. I'm still holding out for a girl for you!

Taylor said...

thank you for sharing this...I'm so thankful that everything turned out the way it did. You are a blessing, Amanda.

-Taylor

Dori said...

Just found your blog. What fun! And I am so thankful for your great news today. Can't imagine how you must have felt waiting.... I have 4 grown children and every pregnancy was a delight. God is good! Never felt better than when I was in my expanding pants. I will pray for you and the precious "fig". On an entirely different note, we "empty nesters" are moving to Dallas. Relocating in the Irving/Las Colinas area. Know you lived there. Any suggestions for churches to visit? We have been Presbyterians for 19 years...Lutherans before that, but our hearts are open to any God fearing congregation with authentic worship and outreach. Another Dori

Amanda said...

Hi Dallas Dori!
I would have to recommend First Baptist Irving to you (which is where Curtis was on staff until we moved). It is such a great church. The congregation is so loving and friendly. They truly operate as a big family. I think the feeling of community there is hard to match. Pastor John is awesome. They also have a huge heart for missions and for students. You'll find that the church is very well balanced in terms of having people of all ages. Most importantly, the Lord is there! It is a great church. The web site is www.firstirvingfamily.org. Another great one in that area is Irving Bible Church. As a mega-church, it has a completely different feel. I went to MOPS there and loved it. Everyone I met was wonderful. www.IrvingBible.org. There are tons and tons of good churches in DFW. I could have listed a lot more but I wanted to narrow it down to ones in your area. I hope that helps! Let me know what you think!
Love,
Amanda

Marc and Charity said...

I'm so sorry Amanda, that is scary for sure! I'm almost 14 weeks and just had my first doc appt. this week- so this whole time I've even wondered if anything was really in there and everything was okay. We also lost our first baby to a miscarriage, so even though this will be our 3rd child it's still a thought in my mind!

I hope you rest well tonight and no more toilet papering going on! :)

rccalyn said...

Oh that's awful! I had a similar moment at my appointment yesterday, which I just wrote about. Glad to hear it was just a scare though!

Kelly said...

Bless your heart!

I have been in both situations, once relieved, and once, sadly, not. It is so hard to sit there alone and wait, now knowing.

So thankful you heard that sweet sound and that you love your doctor. Congratulations!

Erica said...

I was already teary before reading this, and it is all I can do to hold it together at this moment. I am so grateful that your little one is tucked safely inside. Have a blessed day, Amanda!

kelly r said...

Amanda, what a great post. So honest. Lifted this momma's heart. Our 7 month old son had heart surgery in June. Never could have imagined all the blocks of five minutes that the Lord is carrying us through. Be brave dear sister. Praying for your little one.

Mommy Dot Com said...

Our prior youth pastor had his house rolled. He lit a match to the toilet paper he couldn't reach so it would burn up. He then went to church. While he was at church his house burned down to the ground. Our youth group had done the deed and they felt horrible. A little spark had landed in the gutter on the roof which had dry leaves in it. Good news was eventually he got a much nicer house that could actually fit all five of his children!
Am thrilled they found the heart beat. I remember with each new child I had my faith was stretched further and further. I'd get to the point that I'd learn to trust God for my child's health and well being, to then have another child and have to learn to trust Him for even more. I needed to learn and I need to KNOW that God can make grace abound for every good work. If something happens to one of my children it won't be b/c God's grace wore thin. No, He does not grow weary and He can carry more still - no matter the number.

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Man, this post had me choked up.
It made me remember that I had to go OVERNIGHT with my first baby wondering like that.

Everything was fine, but it sure does make you take pause to grieve for those precious ladies who do get terrible news. ;(

I am so happy that Little Fig is alright, Amanda. Thank you, Father...

The Barfuss Family said...

SO sorry you had to go through that! Praising God for everything being okay.

And your house getting wrapped, seriously??? That is so funny!

Teri said...

I read your blog but try not to comment too often, but as i read this post I was just so moved at your five minutes in the Doctors office. I am so happy the baby's heart is beating strong! I have never had the heart breaking news of miscarriage, but your sensitivity at the end of your post was just so precious. It truly shows your selfless heart and that is so beautiful.

We got TP'd by strangers back in the spring two Saturdays in a row unfortunately they didn't stop with TP...they also thought leaving a couple dozen eggs smashed all over our garage door and the side of our house would be great fun. The most disturbing thing was that they left plastic knives all sticking up in the ground all over our yard.

We stayed up all night the third week and they didn't come back...we were kind of hoping they would just so we could catch them in the act. Maybe invite them in for a coke and some pizza or something! :)

I look forward to meeting you at the Siesta Fiesta!
Teri Butcher

Heather said...

Hi Amanda! Fist of all- Praise Jesus for allowing you to get good news and be spared what you thought might happen with the heartbeat. It is sad that the happiest time in a woman's life has to be marred with worry- but it is hard to battle.
Secondly, as the wife of a middle school football coach, welcome to the TP club!! That happens to us at least 1-2 times a month! It is frustrating, but we have learned to laugh about it!
Blessings to you and your sweet family!

bethany said...

Amanda....so glad to hear that Little Fig is healthy, strong, and growing. I had the joy of attending my sister-in-laws ob appointment with her yesterday and got to hear the heartbeat of my niece Kensley! She should be joining us in the next few weeks and I am absolutely ecstatic! Just not sure how my nephew Cole will be!!!! We are having Kendra's baby shower this weekend so if you'd like, check out my blog at www.singingoverme.blogspot.com to see pics from the shower. I've been wanting to get some on the blog of Kensley's room. It is sooooo cute!!!!! Kendra decided to go with pink and brown John Deere. I found pink JD boots for baby girl! They are on the blog.
Praying for you each day girl!

Jaclyn said...

I am so sorry, I could just cry reading about you having to wait that long five minutes.
Thank God your sweet baby is ok!

Fran said...

Oh Amanda...I could hardly take it.
This same thing happened to us, but we weren't so lucky. I took a deep breath at the end and just say "thank you Lord." The beautiful sound of a heartbeat.

I can't wait to find out "who" this precious baby is. Boy? Girl?
It so doesn't matter does it?

Congrats and sleep well.
Hugs and blessings~
Fran

Lindsee said...

Your house got wrapped?! How funny is that. I totally feel sorry for you that you had to clean it all by yourself.

And as for the baby scare, bless you heart! Glad it turned out the way it did!

Sending hugs your way today for all the drama you encountered!

Lindsee

Jenna said...

Amanda, I am so sorry you had to go through that, but I am so glad everything turned out ok! Continuing to pray for, Curtis and Jackson, and that sweet little one!

Marla Taviano said...

Oh, Amanda. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hugs and squeezes to you and your little man-fig! :)

Lauren said...

How scary, Amanda. I can't even imagine. And my heart goes out to the parents who have lost their little ones. It is so heartbreaking.

Mathis Family said...

I have to say I have been in your shoes with my latest born the 30th of June. Each time I went to the doctor, my physician would have to search for her heartbeat. One day it took 7 minutes! It never got any less scary. She perfectly healthy and here with us today, though.

Big Mama said...

So glad you were able to find this little one's heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

Amanda,

I follow your blog a lot, but have only posted a couple of times. I hope that is ok. I just wanted you to know that I am very thankful for your good news today. I can't imagine how you felt. I have three that are such a blessing.

Many blessings,
Anne in MO

lavonda said...

this is the first time I've really had tears dripping off my cheeks reading a blog (I only started reading them in Jan of this year, and only in the last month or so have worked up the courage to comment here and there).

I've been that one, like some of your friends, in that room alone. waiting. knowing.

three times.

Praise God, I have two beautiful children today who are gifts from Him. (One is a true miracle -- a tubal pregnancy that He moved into where that little fig should be. He's 11 now).

But my tears... they are because in reading of your 5 minutes waiting alone, and that scripture you gave, I'm reminded so vividly of my 3 times waiting, and of Derek. I hope you all don't mind if I share him with you. You can share him with your friends too. Derek is the nephew of a dear friend. I met him 7 years ago when he was 11 or 12 years old. He came over to dinner with them because they were babysitting him while his mom was on her honeymoon. Derek and his dad were in a horrible car accident 3 years prior, and his dad had died. Derek, himself, died 3 times (at the scene and in the ambulance). Paramedics were able to revive him each time, but he ended up in a coma that lasted for 2 months. His mom never left his side in ICU the whole time. He was all she had left. and she prayed he would wake up. and worried how she would tell him about what had happened. Would he even remember the accident?

One day, about 2 months later, Derek woke up. Before she could even tell him about the accident or ask him anything, he told her "Dad's in Heaven". She was shocked that he knew that! When she asked him how he knew, he told her he'd been to Heaven 3 times. The first time he went, he saw his dad there and talked with him. The second time he went, he told her he met his 4 brothers and sisters. He described them, what they were like, and that there were two boys and two girls. She was speechless. See, Derek was an only child. She'd had 4 miscarriages, early on, before he was born. She'd never told him about them. (tears again)
The third time he went to Heaven, he met Jesus. He showed Derek around, and then told him he had to go home, and be with his mom, that it wasn't his time to come There yet. But He wanted Derek to tell everyone he met about This Place, and what It was like...

When I met Derek, he'd just finished interviewing with 20/20 to share his story. But his mom had decided at the last minute not to air it for fear they would diminish what he had experienced. Derek was a lively boy, with scars on his face and body from the plates and screws that had been put in during multiple reconstructive surgeries. His aunt told me he would at times be humming a song in the car, on the way somewhere, and his mom would ask him what it was because it was so pretty. He always told her, "I don't know the name of it... it's one of the ones I heard the angels singing while I was in Heaven".

I tell you his story for this reason friends: I asked him one time when he was running by me, to PLEEEASE tell me what did Jesus look like? He was too busy playing to entertain me. I even offered to pay him five dollars if he'd tell me! Nope, too busy, not now. I begged him later to tell me what his brothers and sisters looked like (fighting back tears, trying to act cool and nonchalont, imagining my own unborn babies up there). He said, "they looked just like us, like kids, running around and playing!"

Ladies, I'm sorry for the long comment. But I had to share this because my heart is beating out of my chest as I type. For those of you out there who've lost a little one before you got to hold them, Derek's story has brought me more hope and encouragement for what my babies are doing right now as I live my life here without them, and the eternity we'll have together one day when I WILL hold them, than I could ever put into words here on Amanda's blog.

Again, I'm so sorry for taking up so much space. I hope I did his experience justice, it's been so long since I last shared it. I pray his story has touched you too, like it has me over the years.

my love to all of you.
(I promise to never type this much again! :) )

Cheri-Beri said...

I'm so thankful that everything turned out fine! When I wasn't very far along with my now almost 13 year old son, the nurse practitioner told me it appeared he (it at the time) hadn't attached properly to my uterine wall. To just wait a week and see. I. WAS. A. WRECK. Praise God for the very sweet older women I worked with and their kind words. The doctor called a couple of days later and asked how I was doing. I said, "I'm freaking out!" She didn't realize the np had told me what she did. She told me to come right in and they'd check me out. And I was fine. But like you, I know far too many who haven't gotten good news. God be with them all.

Kathleen in TX said...

Amanda,
That heartbeat never sounded so precious I'm sure! Rejoicing with you! My heart breaks for those who mourn as well but Derek's story was so beautiful to hear! And reminds us of the hope that we have.

beyond this moment said...

I am so thankful that there was joy at the end of those terrifying minutes!

I've sat through that kind of waiting twice and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Grace & Peace to you,
Bethany

Jen Honeycutt said...

So glad all is well!
Thank you for your sweet words at the end of your post. It meant a lot to me that you took a moment to encourage those of us who have suffered the loss of a child.

Heather said...

So glad they were able to find the heart beat. I remember that with my first at 12 weeks. We had been out of town for the weekend and I was having some spotting. FREAKED me out so we got home and got an appoinment right away. Hubs and I got in to the office and after 2 people of trying they could not find a heart beat. For 20 minutes we sobbed thinking our baby was gone. The dr came in and found it in less than 10 seconds. I remember the wave of emotions. So sorry Curt wasn't there to hold your hand through it but I know God was.

I'll be praying for the next 27 weeks of your pregnancy. I'll be induced next wednesday (13th) at 7 am unless she decides to come on her own between now and then. Pray for me if you think about it! It's my third but I still get nervous about the labor part every time.

Billie said...

Bless you heart! I've been there and not gotten the great news you did 4 times, but God is faithful and blessed me with 2! And one thing I learned, taht I hope you gain from this...CHERISH EVERTHING! Even the nausea, the hurting back, the swollen ankles. Everything! You are so tremendously blessed to join hands with God in this miracle. Don't take a moment for granted. Can't wait to find out for sure it's a boy!

Kelli said...

I can remember that same feeling in the doctor's office of them searching and searching for the heartbeat. It was such a scary feeling and then the sweetest sound in the WORLD to hear that heartbeat when they found it! PRAISE HIM that they found it!

Mindy said...

I'm so glad that everything is alright. I can't think of anything else to say because I might breakdown and cry at my desk. We love you guys and that sweet baby that is in your belly!

Kristi said...

Oh, sweet Amanda, I'm rejoicing with you today! I know the feeling of not hearing a heartbeat... and not finding it but I also know the blessed feeling of hearing and seeing hearts beating. I'm blessed with two incredible daughters and one child that I will meet face to face in glory. May God continue to perfect and protect your precious baby. We can hardly wait to hear more about Baby Fig. Blessings to you!

Toknowhim said...

Thanks for sharing your stories today... I think many of us who have had babies have had those little scary moments with thinking the worst, but as you said many, many have had the worst happen, and to remember them as well.

So awesome to have a Christian doctor, and 30,000 babies... I can't quite get my mind around that one.

Blessings, and I hope all the TP is finally now clean.

Nicole said...

I am so sorry you had to go through this! But what a relief. Also, to get TP down from trees, light the end of it with a lighter. It will burn the paper right off. Much easier. OOh just read the post about the pastor who did that. Maybe you ought to have a hose with you!

ncmama said...

Praise the Lord, Amanda! Pregnancy is a wonderful thing but brings much unwanted stress and anxiety, don't you think?

What a wonderful and sensitive heart you have to remember all those whose five minutes did not turn out so favorably - including me.

I'm praying for you and loving you in the precious name of Christ!

Sam McClure said...

Amanda~I'm so sorry that you had to go through that at the doctor and I am so thankful that Baby is ok. Love you!

lindsey kate said...

Oh, Amanda ... I'm praising God with you today for the beating of Little Fig's heart. What a scary thing to experience. And to be without your husband by your side. So glad your visit had a happy ending. Praying for a very healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby and mom.

Honea Household said...

I am praising God that everything is okay. I am like you in that my heart has broken for sweet ones who have not been able to feel such relief. The same thing happened to me with my first one. They ended up doing an ultrasound and we saw and heard it. It was the most amazing relief I've felt.

Love you dearly and can't wait to meet you in a few weeks!

Becoming Me said...

Oh...what a scare. I remember those feelings well...still makes me shudder. I am so glad that your sweet baby is thriving. Beautiful post.

lori said...

Wow I am so glad baby Jones is ok.

About the TP, man that took me back, as a teen I did my share of TP fun. As an adult, yeah it's just not funny anymore.

KELLY said...

Sometimes 5 minutes can feel like an eternity. I had that experience this weekend when we got a call that Chase had been in a serious accident in the front of our subdivision. That 1 1/2 minute drive from our house to the intersection was the longest moment of my life! Whew! What a relief to see him standing there next to his flipped over Tahoe! And with only 3 scratches! Thank you, Jesus!

Shelly said...

Whew girl...you got my heart swinging through some emotions over this one! Glad you and the little one are living, abundantly so, and well

Suzi said...

Amanda so glad little "fig" is ok!!! Sorry you had such a bad experience!

I had a scare with my second son Joshua who was born in Feb 2006.
At his first ultrasound that they suspected problems.
I was sent to a specialist for what they thought was spina bifida and problems with his intestines. It was heart breaking! I remember tears streaming down my face waiting for the news...they told me he was ok. such a scary heart wrenching time! My heat too goes out to all those who didn't have such good news!

Blessing to you and your sweet family!

Patty said...

I am so sorry you had to go through the excruciating pain of waiting. I know what that is like! I am praising God for that little heartbeat and another boy!! I have loved raising my two sons!!

Have a great weekend!
Love,
Patty

Dionna said...

Amanda -
I am so sorry that YOUR heart stopped at the thought of no baby heartbeat! What a dreadful few minutes! I am so glad that your fears were not realized and all is well. But again - so sorry you had to endure that fear.

Midwest Prep said...

I am just one day ahead of you and it was so nice to read about someone in the same situation having the same fears- it was a HUGE relief to hit 12 weeks and then 13, and feel like I could finally be excited and start really believing that I am going to have a baby! I can see teh exact same thing happening when I go in to hear the hearbeat on Monday- I will try to remain calm if they should have a little trouble though-since I have shared your story. Congratulations on your good news! I am very happy for you.

Jenny Hering said...

I found your blog under Erica Harris-Stidham and know how you were feeling in the dr. office. My husband and I lost our first baby at 8 weeks and that feeling of emptiness when the first nurse leaves because she can't find a heartbeat is unexplainable. Our second nurse found nothing, too, so it was a journey God began with us of healing and revealing Himself as a God who heals and restores that which has been taken away...we have a BEAUTIFUL nearly 1 year old daughter Kinleigh Elizabeth. Take care!!
Jenny Stumbaugh-Hering

Bethany said...

I am SOOOO happy that Baby Fig is ok...My heart was pounding there for a second.. I have a question, is there any way to get a audio copy of the simulcast? I had planned on being there and at the last min was unable to do so. Just wondering...
Bethany

Mary C said...

I'm so glad everything turned out ok! You had me on pins and needles!

And how kind of you to think of those that it didn't turn out well for. That was me just 2 weeks ago. I was due Feb. 10, just two days before you. I went in for a check up at 11 weeks and they couldn't find the heartbeat. It was terrible waiting to go to ultrasound, but the result was the same. Our baby was gone. But I know that God is good, all the time, even if my heart is broken.

Profbaugh said...

Oh my goodness! My own heart was beating pretty fast as I was reading the second 5 minutes of your post. So glad everything is going well with Baby Fig. Take care of yourself and watch out for TPers.

Much Love,
~Cheryl

3girlsmom said...

Oh gosh. I'm so thankful that Little One is still with us. Having been through the "no heartbeat" sadness 3 times, I know the horrible stress you were going through. I also have 3 happy, healthy daughters who keep a smile on my face.
Praying that the pregnancy continues to go well! Hope to meet you in San Antonio!

Anonymous said...

Lavonda...thank you so much for sharing that! My mom had 6 miscarriages. I can't wait to meet them in heaven!!! I sent your comment in an e-mail to one of my friends that has had 2 miscarriages. Thank you for sharing.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

My heart leaped into my throat in the midst of this story. So GLAD it had a happy ending. I pray God's peace on you this weekend, Amanda.

Heather said...

Wow lots of posts on here. I am a friend of some of your blogging friends...I recently just lost my baby at 10 weeks, my first pregnancy. Your post really ministered to me today because it is such a scary thing that you totally take for granted until you have those 5 minutes of fright. The great thing is that God is in control completely...that's something I am learning through this. There is nothing we can do in most cases and we just trust Him with the life that He gives to live in us for the time that He gives it. Thanks for being open to share, it gives others the chance to share their stories and for God to be glorified!

MamaCass said...

Bless your heart Amanda! I remember the first time I went to the doctor with Tobey. They found the sack but no baby. I had to go home and wait an entire week for another sonogram. It was so scary. I don't know how I made it through that week. It was so scary. I cried my eyes out the first night and then resolved to pray and pray some more. We went back after a week and there he was-a little bean with a fluttering heart on the sonogram. Praise Him! So, so thankful you heard the heartbeat!!!

Ashley said...

Ugh! What a flood of emotions reading this blog brought back for me. I'm sorry you had to go through those thought processes even if only for minutes BUT what praises that God has different plans for this little life and yours! I had a heartbreaking experience with seeing life one week and not the next in a pregnancy b/w Abbey and Cole; it makes you realize how every step and detail in getting baby here is truly miraculous and nothing short from complete divine intervention and HIS perfect plan. SO yea to healthy baby, momma, and lots of wonderous moments over the months to come!!!

valerie said...

I'm so thankful you heard the heartbeat and that everything is fine. I'm also thankful that you have such an amazing doctor.

Sorry about the tp job. My kids always cleaned it up.
One time my neighbors were out of town and we were watching their house. Someone tp's their house during the night and it rained. We had to clean it up. I wasn't too happy.
I hope you figure out the mystery on that one.
Have a great weekend.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

Rejoicing with you that all is well!

I love your heart- it comes through loud and clear in this post.

Lori said...

I had my 5 minuets when I was 12 weeks and my husband was on a charter bus on his way to Mexico. I started spotting 5 hours after he left but it was Saturday and could not go to the doctor. When they opened at 8:00 I was the first one in the waiting room. The nurse could not find the heartbeat and the doctor was not there not yet. I had to wait 1 hour before he came to the office. IT WAS THE LONGEST HOUR OF MY LIFE SO FAR. My poor husband was in Mexico trying to console me but knowing he really could do nothing (other then pray), my mom was on a cruise and I felt very alone. My male boss offered to come to the doctors office (very sweet but no I did not take him up on it!). The doctor got to the office and did an ultra sound and we Emma Kate jumping around! She was just laying wierd so the nurse did not look in the right spot. It was the sweetest sight to this momma eyes. It was beyond hard for me but I know that it was much harder for my husband since he was so far away and could do nothing to help me. I am thanking God for your good news and lifting up our sweet sisters and their husbands who have not had a happy ending.

Heather said...

Thank you, Amanda, for your tender and thoughtful words on such a difficult subject. Yes, I've sat through those five minutes of fear. On three occasions the news was devastating. We are blessed to have had 2 very healthy pregnancies (now age 11 & 20 months) and a blessed adoption in between (now 5 yrs. old). So happy to hear your news was good and praying for the health of both you and your little one throughout the days ahead!

katiegfromtennessee said...

Wow, Amanda, I think I went through some of those emotions with you-I am so relieved and blessed to know that the little one is okay-little heartbeat keep going in there!!!!:) Thankyou Amanda, I know that whatever God allows in our lives, He can carry us through it. He's really strong:) I will keep praying for you and Lindsay.

Love in CHRIST, my Sister, Little Momma,

katiegfromtennessee

Cathy Davis said...

Awwww Amanda :'(. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've been in the same situation as you, and the 5 minutes seems like an eternity. I'm so grateful everything turned out ok.

Hey, we're down to days till the Siesta Fiesta!! (I sure hope I get to give you and fig a hug!!)

Deedra said...

I am so glad to hear that you got good news at the Dr's office! I too was holding my breath while reading this post! I've sat in that position before, and got that horrible news twice. Then through both of my successful pregnancies I held my breath at every ultrasound until I saw the heartbeat! Thank goodness my ob does ultrasounds at every visit or I probably would have driven myself crazy before I could feel the baby move!

As for getting the TP out of the tree, light it at the bottom that's dangling in the air with a lighter or a match and it will burn all the way up the streamer of TP but not the tree! As someone who's been a youth leader at church and been TP'd soooo many times, I can tell you this method saves tons of time! :)

bahead(mimi24) said...

I've been told that TPing is done to those you like and is a fun activity. But when I was a teen (many, many, many years ago) it was done to people you didn't like and you were very careful not to get caught. I feel for you and the cleanup. The sad part of this whole thing is that some neighbors will come and shoot you for trespassing. Oh, so sad, the world we live in today.

Linda said...

I am so happy to hear that everything is ok. What an awful scare for you.

Stop by sweet friend..I left something for you on my blog.

Darlene R. said...

I'm a so happy that Little Fig is doing well!

I've been there, but with a different outcome. I know the feeling of sitting and waiting for "someone else" to come in and help.

So sorry that you had to experience that 5 minutes of fear.

Hugs to you~
Darlene

Heather said...

There's nothing sweeter than the sound of your little one's heartbeat. Prasing God that everything is good with the baby and with you.

I'm thankful for your heart and vulnerability in sharing with all of us a scary moment in your life.

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

Way behind on my commenting! But so scary about the heartbeat, but so glad the "expert" came in and found it!

chickadee said...

i'm so glad everything turned out ok. last year i had the same experience although i was really having a miscarriage.