Today I have to do the unthinkable. You know exactly where I'm going with this - all the way to Walmart. With both my kids. Help me, Jesus! I mentioned my dreadful errand to Curtis and he told me he does it all the time and it's no big deal. He's such a warrior.
Why am I going to Walmart? That's a very good question. Well, the hair dryer that I bought about six months ago is already kaput. I need a new one along with a bunch of groceries, so there you have it. Target cannot help me today. My hair has looked disgusting for the last week - just in time for the SSMTC and all the pictures that were taken! I finally realized it's because my hair dryer wasn't blowing hard enough and it was also getting too hot. The result has been a greasy, unsightly mess on my scalp. I'm apologize to those of you who've had to see it.
It's Curt's fault that my hair appliances have such a short lifespan. He has this habit of laying the hair dryer next to his legs and running it on low for hours on end to warm himself. I've tried so hard to change him with no success. The only thing I can do is guard my new hair dryer like a lioness - a fierce, amazing lioness. And when my hair is restored to its rightful condition of big-ness, my mane with be very lion-like.
Now I'm going to transition to a completely new topic. All of a sudden my heart is racing and I feel like I'm going be sick. That's how much I dread talking about this! Or it could be the shrimp pasta I ate from Red Lobster last night. The sauce was very buttery - it gets me every time!
The new topic is Facebook. A long time ago I decided that I was going to keep my FB friends limited to people I know in real life. (There are a couple of exceptions and I just need your grace there. This can be complicated.) I share a lot of my life on both of the blogs and I feel at peace with putting a boundary on that.
My sister did not agree with me for long time, but she changed her mind a few months ago and whittled down her friends list. Over the weekend she got a lot of questions about it. This is not something I want to have to address on the other blog, but it kind of needs to be addressed. So I'm hoping that it will help a little bit to mention it here. Melissa and I just need a place to be normal. Our friends get overwhelmed by the attention we get because of who our mom is, and we just need a place where we can be Amanda and Melissa-plain-and-simple. It makes me feel sick to talk about this because it sounds so self-important. Bleh! But I think some people may have their feelings hurt over this and I want to say that we're really sorry and that it isn't personal. Thanks for understanding. Or if you don't understand, thank you for extending grace.
Now that I've said it and I only got sick once, here's one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. Meg Ryan's character has just eaten a bunch of French cheeses.
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139 comments:
I think it's hilarious that your hubs runs the hairdryer to keep him warm. Doesn't the noise get in the way and bother you all?
And that's exactly why I don't have a FB account. Why on earth should a COMPUTER add drama to my life???
Haha, I love this post. The video at the end was the perfect way to tie it up!
I have super thick hair too and I've yet to find a suitable hair-dryer. I just threw out one that was getting way too hot, but didn't blow hard enough. Now I have one that blows really hard, but does not get hot enough...ughhh! So if you find a great hair-dryer, would you PLEASE let us know which one it is...I would be forever grateful!
And as far as the facebook thing goes...GOOD FOR YOU!! I think you have made a very wise decision...stick with it!
I was struck this weekend by how sought after you girls really are, and how exhausting that must be. I know you love all the ladies that you minister to, but at the same time, I'm sure sometimes you just want to let your hair down and just be Amanda or Melissa...not 'Beth Moore's daughter'.
You explained your feelings really well, and I'm sure that 99% of the ladies reading this will completely understand. And for the 1% that don't, how could they not extend grace to someone who asks for it so sweetly.
Blessings!
Going to Wal-Mart is bad enough with 1 kid - I can't imagine 2!
And good for you for having boundaries! Everybody needs them and sometimes it hurts peoples feeling when you have to establish them later instead of sooner :) Have you ever read the book "Boundaries" by Dr. Townsend? I highly recommend it - they can be especially important when you have a "public" life!
www.dixondialogue.com
Amanda,
I grew up a PK and all I'm saying is "you go girl" Block, Unfriend, do whatever you want.
I can't beleive how honest, balanced and non-cynical you are...I agree with what you are saying at it doesn't sound self important at all.
People who don't understand either might not have a real understanding of the pressure you are under or might have an unhealthy obsession with you all that they should address any way.
Thanks for keeping this blog. I work really long hours and your posts always make me smile in the midst of busy work days. Now, back to work!!
that's a funny scene! :D
Hugs and much understanding about FB. Cannot imagine how living daily life can be difficult for y'all. Thank you for sharing in a bit of life ~ it's always great to hear about motherhood and the munchkins. And the blogs are great places to do it!! (not to mention, boundaries are good and healthy!!)
much love,
rachel
Good for you!!! You need to set boundaries like that for yourself. You need and deserve privacy. I totally understand on this end and so respect your facebook decision. AS MUCH AS I WANT TO, I don' have a facebook acct. The Lord and I have a little agreement going on about that!
Sorry I missed meeting you last weekend. There was always such a crowd around you and I had one of those "I don't know what to say" moments and I chickened out! My loss!
Blessings,
Kelli
Well defined boundaries are a good thing. Don't feel bad about for a sec. I know I could probably trim up my facebook friends a bit. You post was full of grace and humility. You did just fine;o)
I thought your hair looked beautiful this past weekend. However, I had hair issues because I just had my hair cut the day before I flew to Houston. I knew better but my hair needed to be trimmed.
Totally understand about Facebook.
How I love that you have a clip from that movie. I love that scene.
Also, I have to brave the WalMart scene today because I am out of a few things and we are under a winter storm warning, SO you know why I have to brave Wal Mart today. :)
Love ya,
Patty
You are wonderful - if I ever knew you had a FB the only reason I'd want to be friends is because of how much fun you and your sister are. I myself only allow people I know personally on my FB for that very reason. Boundaries are boundaries - I am already both blown away and blessed by the lack of boundaries your family has. You have shared so many memeories and photos on both blogs, they have given me encouragement to desire a family that lives for GOD and has a blast too! So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so open to share. Now enjoy your privacy (just promise you'll include a few fun stories every now and then on the blogs and maybe a family picture!
I am so blessed to know of women like the Moore/Jones/Fitzpatrick women - you have been angels sent by GOD for me!
Oh and the whole hair dryer thing - r u kidding me? Funny! :D
So funny about your husband... I feel the same way about trips to Wal-mart & Target for that matter. But some how or another I always manage to get it done, even with 2 toddlers screaming! lol. :-)
Amanda, I feel funny leaving a comment on your post talking about boundaries b/c I feel like such a stalker...that said I had to comment on the hair dryer thing. My brother-in-law sleeps with one!!! My sister has searched high and low for other heaters and things he can sleep with instead, but he insists on a hair dryer. I just thought it was too funny when you said that. I will have to tell my sister that her man is not the only one! :)
I know this is going to sound like a lie, but my hand to the Bible, I have had the same hair dryer since high school! And I'm 31 (I typed 30, but figured I should be completely honest. It's *only* a year.) It's a Walmart $10 cheapy. Windmere brand or something like that. Anyway, I can't believe she's still going strong, but magically she is! Of course, we don't use her to keep ourselves warm. (I'm dying laughing at that tidbit you shared though!)
I wholeheartedly agree with your decision about Facebook. And will second what someone else said above, I'm also a PK and completely understand that sometimes you just want to be normal. Not "Oh my goodness, she just said crap and she's the preacher's daughter?!" Happy Facebooking!
So glad I'm not the only one who dreads taking both kiddos to Wal-Mart. I avoid it at all costs, in fact I've probably only done it once or twice in my 8 months of having two. I usually just send my husband!
I don't think it's inappropriate at ALL for you to limit your facebook friends. I honestly don't even really know who your Mom is. I just stumbled across your blog from Kelly's Korner and like to read about your tales of motherhood and your faith. I have a son and daughter not too far from the ages of your kiddos. Thanks for blogging! :)
I totally understand the need to have only people you KNOW on your facebook...
As for Curtis, maybe get him a space heater? I have one in my office that I got for ~$15 at Target one Christmas - the brand name is Holmes, and it's GREAT. Doesn't get too hot, and the heating mechanisms aren't exposed (so little ones can't burn themselves).
Amanda May: I just got a new hair dryer and it's the best one I've ever had (I have really thick hair as well). I got it at Sally's and it is called the 'Ion Anti-Frizz Tourmaline Ionic Hair Dryer' for $59.99. I got so sick of going through hair dryers that I finally made an investment in a good one! My hair dresser told me that she's had hers for over 2 years and has had no issues... Hope that helps!
I applaud you for your wisdom on the FB thing. It's not selfish...it's wise. Or you can do what Steven Curtis Chapman's wife did...keep a regular account for friends--and then start a "Fan" page. But somehow I DON'T THINK you'll like that idea. The Moore girls--having "fans"? Mary Beth wasn't wild about it either--she just couldn't find it in her heart to tell people all-out "no" :)
Amanda, I completely and 1000% understand where Facebook is concerned!!! :)
God's Grace be with you at Wal-Mart! I have to go there myself with one kid...can't imagine two!
Have a lovely day!
makes me sad people don't understand others boundaries. i don't necessarily have a "public" life, but have had to do that too with where i work, etc. i think there is an unrealistic sense of entitlement some people have with what information they should know, etc. God will use your boundaries to help others set their own.
You are too funny! While you're at Walmart, you need to buy Curtis an electric blanket or maybe a Snuggie.
Facebook, ugg, don't even get me started...that's why I don't have an account. Good for you, setting boundaries and sticking to them.
Hope you find a new hair dryer!
Marsha
Hilarious that he is cold in Houston- wasn't it 80 there over the weekend? I'm freezing to death in Tennessee right now and my New England friends think I'm such a wimp for talking about being cold when it's 32 outside. I guess it's all relative, but for what it's worth, I've been coveting y'all's weather for weeks!
Amanda, GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! We all need a place to be ourselves and you should have yours. Now about the whole Wal-Mart thang! I avoid that place like the plague! I have tried to be nice in there but I cannot so I do not **repeat** do not go in there unless it is a dire emergency! Yes I will drive 30 min. to the nearest Target and I am not ashamed to admit it. Have a great day!
Don't feel bad about it. We all need our privacy and no one should feel hurt about it. We don't let the whole world see us, so you shouldn't have to either.
Amanda, You and Melissa are totally respected for wanting to maintain some privacy. Good for you!
On a different note...do you read www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com? If not, check it out(like you have time to add to your reading list :)). Read from the beginning, so amazing, challenging and really... just amazing. I think Melissa would like it too.
So good to meet you and Curtis early this month. We are so grateful for the ministry you guys do. It does impact us directly her in NYC in so many ways.
Your blow dryer story cracked me up! Boundaries are good when it comes to our personal lives...and with our blow dryers too. :) Do whatever it takes to protect your new one!
That is one of my favorite scenes of all time. Meg Ryan has another one that I love, but we won't talk about it here:)
The whole facebook thing can seem really complicated, but it doesn't have to be. I accept who I feel comfortable with and ignore the people I don't (which is just about everyone who knew me in high school). It's the last thing in the world we should feel guilty about. I think you handle it well!
That is funny-just save that old hair dryer for him to warm up with.:)
And you didn't ask this but here's a blowdryer tip.
Dryers that are 2000 watts are what professionals use. You can get a good one at Sallys, thats where I got mine. They are a little pricier but they last. I'm going on two years with mine. It's a jilbere de paris-porcelain series and I love it.
You shouldn't feel sick that is totally understandable.
Love the hair-dryer story.
I too did not realize how crazy your world is till this weekend at the SSMTC. I must live in a cave. Or overeas.
Bless y'all.
I had to laugh at your chagrin in taking 2 kids to Wal-Mart. I have four, ages 8, 6, 2, and 7 months. I have taken them all with me from time to time--it can be done. :)Two is easy in comparison. Sometimes my husband and I laugh and wonder, "What were we thinking having 4 children!" Of course we love them all. We have three girls, and the 7 month old is the boy--bless his heart! :)
I totally understand about the Facebook issue. I don't have a famous mom, but I am a teacher. Several of my friends are students I've had in class before. I don't allow students who I currently have. I teach pre-algebra at a junior high. I've contemplated whittling down my friends list to just include adults so I can feel more free to be myself. We'll see.
I enjoy reading your blog as I have two really young ones myself. I gain encouragement from your stories, and realize that I'm not the only one. :)
I have so many things I could say about Curt warming his legs with a hair dryer. Absolutely cracks me up. Get the boy an electric blanket. (I have a secret desire for someone to come out with an electric snuggie. Just sayin.)
WalMart with 2 kids? Pass. I avoid WalMart at all cost - even if I'm by myself - but I wouldn't dare it with my 3. Good luck.
As for Facebook, GOOD GIRL. I don't know you IRL, and we have a WHOLE BUNCH of IRL friends in common, but I completely respect and understand what you are doing. Boundaries are always a good thing and I think you're making a smart decision. Melissa, too.
(While I was typing this, your tweet popped up about AB getting out of the chair without crashing. You used the phrase "eject herself from the lil red chair" and it cracked me up. Way to go, AB! Let's keep the face crashing to a minimum!) :)
Robyn
I'm the same way, letting things stress me out because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but let's be realistic... you can't be BFF's with everyone! And as much as all of us who think you are our close and personal friend because we read your blogs all the time and hear stories from your mom about you and your family all of the time would like to be your "facebook friend" too, it is your right to draw that boundary. And if you change your mind in the future about doing the blogs all the time and have to spend less time on those as well, that is your right too. I hope you don't decide to do that, but it is your right. You shouldn't feel guilty about having a personal life.
Onto the important stuff: once you find the perfect blowdryer will you tell us which one it is? I think that is info we could all use!!!!!
Have a calm, stomach-ache free day!!!
Kelly
My husband does something similar with my blowdrier. As much as I wish he'd leave it alone, I can't help but laugh at him.
I completely understand about FB. If roles were reversed, I'd probably handle it the same way. :)
Good luck at Wal-Mart! Venturing out with my two little kids - the thought scares me right now...
I, too, grew up as a PK, and let me tell you...I have had enough of the fish bowl!
I have not, and will not, ever be on FB for that reason...so sick of people watching me!!
It is so hard to be in the public's eye, and your's is so wide-spread, I can only imagine how hard it is for you to even go to Wal-Mart alone! (However, I must say to go to Wal-Mart with only 2 kids sounds like a dream to me...I usually have all 4 of mine! ACK!)
And then there's the security resons, as well. I lost a family member very tragically at someone else's hand, and so I have a hard time being forthcoming about our lives.
We do have a blog, but our names are not used. Even then, sometimes I feel that is still too much info out in the big, blue internet world.
So, I think that you are right to do what you need to do, and I applaud you for doing it so graciously and with love.
I totally sympathize with you going to Wal-mart. I have 5 boys and I absolutely dread going. I put it off as long as I can!!!!
Also, about FB....good for you!!! You need to be able just to enjoy your friends and be yourself.
Hope you find the perfect hairdryer!
LOL, my daughter and I do that with the hair dryer, Amanda!! Only we run it on high!! In fact, the only way I can get her up in the morning for school is to run the dryer the entire time she is in the bathroom, alternating between aiming it on her bare skin and aiming it down her clothing to warm it up before she puts them on!! Then we proceed to the kitchen where I make sure the real heat is currently on, and she huddles on the floor in front of it to eat her breakfast.
Yes, we live in the frigid northeast, and no, it's not excessive and she's not spoiled. :o) I just UNDERSTAND because *I* am always cold, too!! Throughout the day I often run into the bathroom to 'warm up' with the dryer. I also keep an electric blanket on my couch for tv and reading time....Curtis might like that!
Hey wait...aren't you in hot Houston?? Does it ever get cold there??
First of - I LOVE this scene! Second of all - this has to be one of my, my sister's and my mom's FAVORITE movies of all time! We can practically quote it from beginning to end! Hello - I just flew over an ocean! Fest, fester, fester...Rot, Rot, Rot!!!!
Miss you and love you dear!!!!
Love that movie!
"Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!"
Girl, I totally understand your FB position. I was praying for you the other night b/c I am sure it is tough to be in your position and lead a "normal" life. I just want you to know that you do a great job with humility!
Hey Amanda - our bathroom is really cold too. We finally broke down & bought a small nice looking space heater that we use when we are in there this winter. It is so nice getting out of the shower and have it feeling like summer. Send Curtis shopping for one. I think we paid $40 and it will save you in blowdryer costs =)
Love that movie!
"Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!"
I've no clue who your mom is and I don't get face book at all so no big deal here.
I love the movie French Kiss and that scene. Meg Ryan is such a hoot in there.
Also, I am diabetic and get really cold feet and can't get them warm... I use the old heating bad... maybe that would help hubby and save your hair appliances??? Or one of those microwave herb packs??? Also, I gave up blow drying my super thick, super curly hair and started letting it air dry and then using that flat iron... only takes 10 minutes versus 45 torturous minutes with the blow dryer.
I am so with you on the walmart deal... I will do anything to avoid it... hate it, hate it, hate it!!! My hubby actually volunteered to take over grocery shopping so that I wouldn't be so grumpy when I went to Walmart... he said it was really selfish because it was in his best interest for me to be in a better mood on Thursday nights. Ha! For everything else, I shop ebay and amazon prime if I can't get it at Target.
Happy Day!
Oh, I should say that my issue with walmart had nothing to do with the seven kids... they were angels... it was the grumpy workers that put me in a mood every time.
Kat
French Kiss is one of my favorite movies and that scene in particular cracks me up every time! My mom and I love it!
As far as keeping your facebook to only in real life friends, it's completely understandable. I work at a University, so I have a lot of students that are my friends. It's very hard for me to decide what to post and what not to post. Like most women my age, I want to use facebook as a means to connect with my friends and former classmates, but more often than not, I have to use it for work. I am forced to edit what I place on my facebook page, and I don't necessarily like that. In the end, you have to make the best decision for you and for your sanity!
I agree with you & I am totally unknown to most of the world! I have an issue friending people just because they know my brother's wife's best friend. (You get the point!) I have actually had to discuss with a friend why she was not in my top 10 on facebook. Really? It's trouble I tell ya!!! :)
Amanda,
I love your post. I think hubs needs to run to walmart and buy himself a floor heater! LOL.
He's funny!
Facebook . . . you said it all.
It's all wayyyyyy toooo public.
Especially for you and Melissa.
I would hope there would be less hurt feelings than more out there!
We are so blessed that you all share your fun stuff that you do right here. Its fun to be the "girls" on here but you must have your own space.
You go Sister, enjoy without guilt!
I totally recommend buying Curt his own small hairdryer. I also recently started using Rusk Blofoam for my hair. Praise The Lord.
I'm from GA. Walmart, with or without kids, is ALWAYS an experience. Make it fun for you too!
Although our situations are different, I definitely understand where you're coming from. I deleted over 400 people off my facebook a few months ago. I felt overstimulated (I mean... I don't need to know everything that everybody is doing), and I realized there were a lot of people who, although we were acquaintances, really weren't true friends. I got to a place where I realized that overexposure was unhealthy to the relationships that are important in my life and that I wanted to foster to with more love! Since the great defriending of '09, I've only had five or six people ask to be re-friended. THAT definitely speaks volumes to me!!
Look, about the facebook thing. Only about 10 people on planet earth know that I exist, and I am still VERY careful about my friend list. In fact, I've been thinking about going off FB entirely. It's just sort of an odd concept.
Dear Amanda,
Thank you for your honesty and humbleness. I am glad you have a space where you can be you. be at peace.
And for the movie clip... HYSTERICAL!!! I haven't seen that movie.
Blessings,
Sister Lynn
Honey, tell Curt that that using a hairdryer as a space heater is most certainly a fire hazard!!!! I give him 3 points for creativty, but subtract 4 points for safety. :)
I think you have NO CAUSE to apologize or feel sick over it. :) You have a right to some privacy! Thanks for sharing as much as you do. We SAHMs or WAHMs with small children need a laugh and enjoy sharing the journey. :)
Signed,
Random person who doesn't know you at all...but hopes we'll all have fun in Heaven. :)
I thought you looked great this weekend, but I know that if YOU aren't feeling it, it doesn't matter. I ended up buying a 'salon' dryer that is going on it's 5th year! I was replacing them every other year before my stylist recommended it.
I think you're being wise with the FB thing. You're right-you & Melissa both need your space to be yourselves. Sorry it caused you so much discomfort in stating it tho!
I respect your decision. :) Facebook gets OUT OF HAND anyways. The hairdryer situation...hilarious. Mostly about your husband blow drying his legs to keep warm. :) Hilarious.
Wal-Marts...as my grandmother calls it. We go to the one by our house. Did I mention it's BRAND NEW....and it's even got laminate floors. hahaaaa. It's right smack dab in the middle of HV/Flower Mound, so it's totally ok. However, when I venture to any other "Wal-mart's," I feel your pain.
Amanda, I loved meeting you this weekend and you're hair looked adorable. I'm posting my picture tomorrow and I promise I wouldn't if I didn't think you looked cute :)
I sympathize with Curtis although I've never thought of a hair dryer. Every night when I climb in bed, I wrap my feet in a heating pad. I'm addicted - ha!
Oh my gosh. I have never seen that clip before and I laughed so hard!
Totally understand about the Facebook thing. You both are so gracious to everyone - you deserve time to just "be."
Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't reign things in a bit more too. I'm constantly reavulating my "online" self.
I'm so proud of you and Melissa for making the tough call. You are doing the right thing, the necessary thing, to protect your hearts and your families. Everyone needs a little privacy, and goodness knows, you girls must have very little as it is. Do NOT feel sick about this. We affirm you.
(Although, honestly, I feel a little sick about Curtis warming his legs with your hair dryer. Do you not have electric blankets down there in Texas? Because I would totally send you one.)
I think the FB thing makes perfect sense! Don't sweat it!
I say good for you to put a boundary on your Facebook friends. As a Pastor's Wife, I understand that you have to set a boundary somewhere. I have totally blocked some people from my FB account and do not feel bad about it!!!
I think it is fabulous that you have chosen to set boundaries - and very healthy! Way to go!!
I don't have little kids and can't stand going to Wal-Mart - but at least you will have beautiful hair.
1. I loathe Wal-Mart. I mean REALLY loathe it. The lines... The cashiers... How it's mapped out... the whole thing. I breathe a 'Thank you Lord for HEB Plus' every time I leave.
2. I don't 'friend' anyone who I don't know have or want a relationship with at the present time. This means that some former high school classmates don't get 'friended' even though I might have known them ten years ago. I'm not trying to be snooty, but I feel I should choose who gets to hear about my baby's sleeping issues and my son's daily catastrophes. I can't imagine complete strangers expecting to be my friend.
3. I love that scene. It makes me giggle every time I see it, so thanks.
4. How do you have time to post so much with two kids? What's your secret??? I still haven't finished Christmas pictures...
My Chi just died on me about two weeks ago. I was so sad! I didn't want to shell out the $ on a new one. So, I thought I would try out a cheap one from Walmart and so far I'm very pleased with it. I hope you find a great hiding place for you new hair dryer!
You always handle the sticky stuff with such sensitivity. I think most people should understand your heart. Everyone needs boundries.
amanda - I TOTALLY understand. I do the same thing with my facebook. At one point - I went in and unfriended about 1000 people because I decided that had to be a place where it was just me and it felt a little too personal.
You and Melissa should totally do that and everyone will understand (including myself if you unfriend me - it won't hurt my feelings.......you need to have boundaries). It's something I struggled with and then just had to draw that line.
Amanda,
I also support your fb decision. I actually had seen you on there a while back, but didn't friend you because we hadn't met. I looked for you the other day, but didn't find you and figured you had tightened your permissions.
You have every right to set the boundaries where you need them to be. You do share a lot on the blog and it's a treat for us, but most of us have no idea what stresses come with your position. I think it is healthy for you to have firm boundaries.
Y'all need to do what is best for you. Anyone who truly loves you with agape love will understand, and those that don't aren't your real friends.
I'll be praying that God gives you, your sister, your mom, and your families wisdom and peace about how and when to keep your private lives safe and secure.
ps - if it makes you feel any better, in the pic of you and I from this weekend, I thought my hair looked bad next to yours. :)
Can't you get Curtis an electric blanket or a heating pad?
I think your facebook decision is a SMART one!!! But, thanks for sharing your blog - I so enjoy it!!!!! :)
Even if it was hard for you to say... I totally understand and agree with what you and your sister have done...
Blessings Amanda!!! You are too sweet :)
Yes, you should buy a dryer for you ... and a $9.99 one for him! That's what I'd do.
I understand about facebook. The only reason I started one ... was very late to it ... wanted to use it as a ministry to reach many unsaved old friends for Christ ... using my articles. There has only been one creepy man ask to be my friend that I ignored. In high school I was "homecoming queen," (and "class favorite" with the actor Jamie Foxx) and I've had a lot of younger kids from my former city ask to be my friend. Since mine is ministry ... I go ahead and friend them. Since I was older, they remember me more than I remember them. I have to look them up in the yearbook. And I have friends that I write articles on ... my latest was on a missionary in the Philippines and I was so thankful for facebook to be able to contact her. We became instant friends, and it's so neat to keep up with her all the way over there. And I think she enjoys having contacts back home. I know I would!!
not sure who your mom is, but like the honesty and
forthrightness of your blog!
not to mention, fearlessness, 'walmart with two
children?' wouldn't have caught me doing that
when mine were little. :)
blessings,
lea
I don't think it's weird at all to want to limit your FB account. I try to do the same thing, especially when I get those friend requests from the 13yo daughter of the sister of an acquaintance from a message board I visited six years ago, KWIM?
Amanda - Take a deep breath. You CAN manage Wal-Mart with two kids - yes ma'am, you can!
And I agree that your decision re: facebook is dead on.
Adrienne
P.S. I thought your hair looked lovely at the SSMTC...
Bless your sweet little heart! I hate that you have to explain why you keep your fb friends to personal ones only. I can not imagine the attention y'all get....it would drive me crazy I'm sure. I'll be praying that people don't get ugly w/you about it. ;)
Thank you for letting me into this little corner of your world....you brighten my day!
Thank you for your honesty!! I imagine you read and reread what you wrote several times before posting just grateful it didn't come up in question and answer time this past weekend! You did a good job....very well written and authentic.
I imagine you guys often feel like you live in a fishbowl with many of us strangers feeling like we know you because of how much you are willing to put out there on the blogs. It is wise, wise, wise to have boundaries and I commend you for that!
You have your right to privacy as any one else and the right to choose who are your friends on Facebook are and who you don't want. Boundaries are a beautiful thing in my book, we need them for so many things in our life. We can be very open on our blog, but there's still things I think we all keep private, protect our family and selves.
I have to say I don't mind shopping with my kids, but I'm an Army wife and when your husband's deployed every other year so you just suck it up and do it! As they get older and learn what's acceptable behavior and what's not it gets easier and easier.
Amanda, Thanks for sharing your life through this blog and the LPM blog.
Much love,
Sharon
Charlotte, NC
Love this, Amanda. I'm glad you have your sister and your mom to be "normal" with, because no one else can really understand what it's like. I became FB friends with your sister a while back, when I saw her on a mutual friend's profile. Didn't even realize that we weren't "friends" anymore until I read this. :) Ha! But I totally see and respect your reasons. Don't feel a bit bad about it.-You need it.
I'm a pastor's wife, and our church is big enough that people I don't know recognize us around town. The other day I was having some alone time at Panera, and as I walked by a table I heard a lady whisper to her friend, "...Pastor Andy's wife." I have no idea who it was and I felt awkward. I can't imagine how you guys feel, getting that everywhere you go.
We are so grateful for the generosity of the Moore girls--you make us all feel like friends. :)
Blessings-
Amy
I am so glad that you mentioned the whole facebook, real friends thing. I had such a hard time this weekend with the lines to meet you and your mom and sister. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Y'ALL and I am so appreciative of your ministry, but I felt weird waiting in line to meet you and take a picture. I would love to have lunch with you or your mom or sister and really get to know you, but I don't want a picture or an autograph of the one time I met you. Does that make sense? And yet, there was still this little part of me that wanted to wait in line because I do appreciate you all so much. I felt conflicted. I grew up in a mega church and then was active in ministry at another mega church. I saw and experienced a bit of "living in the fishbowl" as we called it and it was not comfortable for me. It impacted my ministry at the time and my ability to hear God's voice and not everybody else's. I completely respect your decision and hope it helps you create a safe cocoon for you and your family. God Bless.
I totally understand where you're coming from about Facebook and so don't you worry yourself another minute about it! And for goodness sake don't let it make you sick!!!
I only went on fb at Christmas...(we'd had dialup internet until we splurged for satellite for Christmas) ...and already I've had the "friend" dilema. And, hey....I'm not someone everybody knows even!!
So, choose your friends wisely. You DO need a place to just be yourself to your "in person" friends!
God bless you for your honesty!!
Marilyn...in Mississippi
Do you guys not have a Super Target?? I avoid Walmart at all costs as well, with kids..UGH...
I really want to say, thank you for sharing about your facebook opinion. I do think it is wise. My selfish side would love to be IRL friends because you are darling and I respect and treasure you greatly, but you better believe I understand!
The hairdrier thing is LOL!! Your hair was so cute this weekend, no worries..=) Oh if it will make you feel better, I had a unicorn hump in the photo we took and the light flashing off it in the pict I took with Travis...oh my, Why did no one tell me to go deal with it!! Now it is in all my photos! Oh well...and so I sing with great drama...memories! Love ya Amanda, Tiffany
my hubby does the same thing!!! I laughed so hard :) I tell him all the time, "You know it's gonna finally blow when I've got a wet head and a wedding to go to or something...
...and your hair looked great this weekend!~you have a beautiful glow about you amanda. It was a pleasure to meet you :) traci
I am a Pastors wife, and I know some decisions are tough to make but I think you are very wise to want some privacy.
I think you family has done an amazing job at sharing your lives with others but everyone needs some time with those closest friends. We all need some boundaries in our lives!
As someone who doesn't know you in real life, I completely agree with you about your Facebook account. You shouldn't have to accept "friends" on there just because you are involved in a public ministry. Everyone should still be able to keep part of their life private. Don't feel guilty about that.
I do enjoy your blog! I kind of stumbled onto it and it took me awhile to figure out who your mom is! :) Thanks for sharing with us.
PS The last time I took all four to Wal-mart, they all got sick and it lasted 3 weeks for everyone to get well. Don't go w/ the kids, if you can help it. Not that I want to spread fear...it's just not the best thing.
Oh my gosh...It has to be a Jones thing. I remember in high school Lindsey using a hair dryer for a heating pad...I thought it was the weirdest thing in the world.
Haha, I didn't know Curt did it too! I thought it was just Lindsay and my mom. :)
Just discovered your blog. Thanks for blogging. It's a nice break from work to read blogs somedays. So you've blessed me in that way.
One thought on your hair dryer. I was going to buy a new hair dryer, but realized that I just needed to take off the back part-where it sucks in the air. It was all clogged with dust. So my dryer wouldn't blow hard enough and it would get all burny smelling. Just a thought...if you already bought a new one, then you can give your husband the old one to fix.
Praying God fills your heart and stomach with peace over your wise decision. My heart goes out to you and Melissa (and your mom too) as you've got so much pressure on you to always be "on." You amaze me.
I love you, and I hope I didn't contribute to your hair dryer's early demise. :)
Hi. I thought I was the only one with hair dryers that died all the time! I was so tired of buying a new one which seemed like every six months, that my husband researched them and found this one to be good. I guess it's due to being different than others, or something?? :)
http://www.target.com/T-Studio-Tourmaline-Ceramic-Professional-Dryer/dp/B000KYRBD0/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&frombrowse=0&node=1038576&keywords=hair%20dryer&field_browse=1038576&searchSize=30&id=T-Studio%20Tourmaline%20Ceramic%20Professional%20Dryer&field_availability=-2&refinementHistory=subjectbin%2Ctarget_com_age%2Ctarget_com_gender-bin%2Ctarget_com_character-bin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchNodeID=1038576&field_launch-date=-1y&searchRank=target104545&searchPage=2&field_keywords=hair%20dryer
Oh and I get the FB thing. :) I think you're smart!
Good for you for putting boundaries in place and I don't think you should feel bad about it at all. Enjoy your FB friends!
P.S.
It is totally crazy that Curtis uses your hair dryer...maybe the old one can be his now?! Just imagine if you lived somewhere that got *cold for real*!!
You are wise to draw a line with FB. If people really *need* to see you on FB, then you all could start a ministry page that they can become fans of. Yay for you, for keeping your friendships "real"! Blessings!!!
Amanda,
I just stumbled on your blog a few months ago. I was at the Siesta weekend and came away with a *deep* appreciation for how much your mom and now you and Melissa give of yourselves. You give so much and I know there is a cost.
When it comes to FB, I've always been one of those people who did not accept every friend request from people who I haven't known or seen 20 years. And now I even feel awkward accepting friend requests from other Siestas who I don't know. I'm sure they are fine women, but I post my kids' pictures and other personal info on FB. It just makes me uncomfortable.
Multiply that hundreds for you and Melissa. Good for you for setting boundaries. (You probably didn't need this affirmation from someone who's met you once, but I just have to support your wisdom and also your tender heart in the matter).
honey, I am just honored to be able to peek into your life on the two blogs.
in fact, I don't think I have ever told you thank you for sharing. So let me say it now. THANK YOU.
Your mother is very witty on her blog. Melissa makes me think beyond my normal limits and you make me realize we are all human. I am so thankful to be able to praise God with you. To prayfully lift your family up to our Father.
Keeping something private, where you can be normal is totally understandable (even though I am not famous at all).
I have to run a little space heater to keep me warm! Maybe you can get the man one and he will leave your dryer to rest. A woman's hair is a very. important. accessory.
Okay, Curt and the hair dryer...THAT is funny!! I bet he wouldn't be caught dead in a Snuggie but uses his wife's blow dryer as a space heater. Cracks me up!! But for the record, our picture together- I thought - "My hair looks like poo next to Amanda's. Gotta get my roots done!"
And as for FB, aren't you sweet and gracious? This weekend was so incredible, but in the midst of it, I thought of how surreal your existence must be - not self-important at all - just sort of weird. As your mom's popularity has grown, your 'friends' have exploded. I can relate on a very small scale. I was a consultant/trainer for years and everytime I would finish a training with 100+ people, they all knew me...but I didn't know them. They would come and talk like we were BFFs and I didn't have a clue who they were. I think you are very wise to limit your FB contacts...and I am likely one of those dropped friends...and I couldn't be more proud of you. Too much is just too much sometimes! I see you setting up some mighty wise boundaries!!
Ok, I had to re-read that part about the hair dryer! Hilarious! I am always cold ( and I mean always) and have never thought of that brilliant idea! What a great Valentines day gift for your man..his own personal heater/hair dryer :)
Loved getting to say "hi" this weekend. It was a fantastic bunch of fun. Thanks for sharing your life with us at all....we are blessed to call you a "Siesta!"
Good for you (on all accounts)! :) Oh, and maybe you could hide your new dryer and put the old one where Curtis can grab it for his warming sessions.
I knew about the hair dryer thing when he worked at the church. I thought maybe it was b/c he was desperate since it's usually freezing there, but I see that it's not!
girl. girl! only TWO at wal-mart? that's a dream come true! haha!
Why not just get your husband his own hair dryer? A cheap one, so that when it dies, it won't be as much of an issue to replace it. Just a thought. ;-)
Also, P.S. Don't feel bad about the Facebook thing, it's good to have that boundary, if only for your own sanity. There are only so many lives you can keep track of. ;-)
For what it's worth, my hubby bought me an $80 hair dryer 4 years ago for my b-day. It's dual voltage b/c we live overseas so it can travel w/ me back and forth. It was SO worth the investment - it still rocks my world...4 years later.
On the facebook thing - I'm still holding out (much to many of my family and friends' chagrin) and I kind of have a soap box about it but don't waste precious seconds of your life worrying about what people will think if you aren't facebook friends with them. Your real friends (and in your case your facebook friends as well since you're keeping them one in the same) will understand and the rest of the peeps, well, they'll get over it :) You are so sweet to even worry about it. People should get your heart just from that. And if they don't, they can always build a bridge... :)
Everyone has said what I wanted to say about boundaries...and said it well.
I only have one thing to add, and I really hate to say this but...
Sweetie, a lioness doesn't have a mane. :)
Said with all the love in my heart and a grin on my face!
You share so much of your life with all us, having a facebook account that is strictly personal, well that is a HUGE OK!!!! You deserve to have some normal in your life!! Way to go!
Amanda you are just precious! I ADORE your heart! You DEFINITELY need a place to be just you! No question!! I was watching you and Melissa last weekend and you met and took pictures with everyone so gracefully... I was thinking to myself that has got to be so hard! I guess we all feel as if we know you because of the blog and all your Mom's stories in the studies! So that has got to be a little weird! : ) You all are dear to share your lives the way you do!
I pray that you won't agonize over this anymore! That you will continue to be at peace! : )
One more thing... you probably have already gotten your blow dryer but if not... I have really thick hair too and I finally splurged and bought a nice one at my hair dresser... I thought of the hours I spend blow-drying my hair it was worth it! (sometimes I use two to get the bulk of it dried!) Anyway just a thought!
Have a great day! Emmy
Honey! Y'all do not worry about the FB thing. You deserve your own space. We love you...too much sometimes! :)
we have a mcdonald's right as you enter our walmart and a coke and a cookie do WONDERS to keep the kids still and quiet - healthy for them, NO - healthy for me, ABSOLUTELY!!!
and, that is great wisdom on the facebook issue - thanks for setting that example
rebecca in e tx
I totally understand!
I think you're using wisdom.
You're so sweet Amanda!
I loved the weekend and can't quit thinking about the favor God showed my traveling friend, Sherry & me.
Hope Wal-Mart wasn't too bad. : /
We're in for some really bad weather here in OK and I absolutely refused to go to WM yesterday. Braum's had everything I needed.
Love,
Valerie
I respect your boundaries. But I must say I miss pictures of Jackson and Annabeth so much. Are you restricting them too for privacy/safety sake? I was just wondering. I haven't seen them in awhile.
--Grandmamitz
Firstly. My husband has a special trick for when I'm really cold at night, which is tenting the bedcovers and blowing the blowdryer at my legs under the covers! If he did this (or used a blankie on the couch), he could do it for a few minutes at a time, rather than for hours. Saving your blowdryer and energy. Maybe buy him his own blowdryer and a snuggie! :)
Secondly, I was one of your sisters FB friends because when I first signed up for FB I went through a phase of friending everyone I could think of. Of course this dilutes the value of FB and I have severed the connection between lots of people and I would never take it personally that anyone else would do the same. Please don't get stressed about this. You have the perfect right to maintain whatever privacy you can and no one who cares about you (presumably everyone who reads your blog, does your mother's studies, etc.) would take that personally.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice. I just wanted to encourage you that you are both doing the right thing and that it is not a big deal!
PS I have a T3 hairdryer that I've been pretty happy with.
Your family already give us so much access to your everyday life. I don't think you or Melissa should feel bad AT ALL about limiting your facebook to your real life friends!
Just so you know, I did start reading your blog because you were Beth Moore's daughter but over the last 2 years I have continued to read....not because of anything to do with Beth but because of Amanda Jones!
Thanks for your heart!
Lori
Great post, Amanda! It would never occur to me to ask you to be a FB friend---you need your privacy! Blessings on you for handling this in such a kind way. Thanks for all you do to encourage the sisters!
I think you made a great decision with the Facebook thing, but what I'm really hear to talk about it your hair. I saw a picture of you on Missy's page and your hair looked incredible. (I even commented on her blog about your hair.) Very lioness, bad blow dryer and all.
1. Do you not have a SuperTarget? Because, if not, my heart is broken for you.
2. My hairdryer has been acting up lately (i.e. shooting out sparks) and my hair has been greasy. I'm going to need to buy a new hair dryer and stat.
3. Everyone's already said it, I'm sure, but I'll say it too -- I think you addressed the FB thing very well. I have let blog readers add me because, over the years, tons of Starlite volunteers added me so it became "non-private" for me about five years ago. :) Sometimes I think about how fun it would be to have a secret Facebook account for just me and the people I actually know, but I haven't gotten there quite yet.
4. I think I might have told you this before, but one of my favorite things about you is that I read your blog for a long time without knowing "who" you were. I'm so glad I found you as simply Amanda, not as something else. :)
Posts like these are exactly why I respect you so much. You are so authentic and genuine and deal so gracefully with the hard/uncomfortable things of ministry! Which for this twenty something just starting out is great wisdom. You are such a mentor to me from afar! (Or from the internet. Ha!) So, thank you!
Also, I just started reading the book 'Boundaries', which has been super encouraging to me lately! Just a good book if you're looking for a read like that.
As far as the hairdryer? Stinkin' hilarious and I can totally relate. My hairdryer literally blew up on me the morning of my girls retreat. Neat.
Your hubby's hairdryer thing is HILARIOUS! And you do not/should not have to explain your FB choices. I think it is awesome that you and Melissa and your mom let us in on so much of your personal lives as it is.
Oh my, I think this is one of my favorite posts from you. Random, funny and straight forward! Hope one day we can meet! Until then I will just get your little sis! H
Yesterday I took my first solo trip with my son to HEB. I felt like such a mom. It wasn't as bad as I thought. It helped that Michael was dressed super cute. But there isn't a cute baby outfit in the world that could induce me to take him to Walmart by myself. At least not yet.
And has your husband tried using an electric blanket? It could save your hair dryer. Or you could just return the favor by using his razor.
Why on earth should anyone question your right to allow only those whom you want to "friend" on your FB account? It is your account. No one has a "right" to barge into every corner of your life.....except God, your Mama and your man.
Please don't let anyone upset you over this.
Deirdre
Wow, I'm 2 days late - I'm guessing you've made it to Walmart and back by now!
I feel your pain taking 2 kids there. I am so happy I don't have to drag my kids along with me every where I go. Of course, they are both teenagers now and I have other issues but that's whole different issue.
Thank you for addressing the FB thing! I was on Melissa's friends and then I wasn't and I was wondering if I did (or said) something to be removed, if I removed her by accident or if she just decided to remove people!! I'm going for the "I didn't do anything or remove her but she needs her own space" reasoning :-)!
I understand needing your own space and all. I can tell you that we just love your mama (as you know) and we feel like we really know your whole family from doing the studies and all...It's like we've watched y'all grow up - you know??
I'm just glad I get to be part of this blog because I just love you and your family for you!!
I so so so respect that...everyone needs healthy boundaries!! It's funny to be the opposite, using fb to foster new relationships, but what would I do if I had more than I could handle!? All I can say is, I wish I did know you in real life! Blessings!
I'm just echoing all the others who are glad you and Melissa can find some privacy/normalcy away from the fishbowl. Good move!
I limit my FB friends and I don't even have a famous family member. I don't give everyone my phone number either. Kinda the same concept?!
Be at peace with this, my sister.
:)
I don't blame you regarding the FB decision. I would not have near the amount of requests you probably do, and I have kept my "friends" limited. I think you share more of your life than most would on both blogs. You do bless your readers with your posts.
Girl...I am cracking up over Curtis and the hair dryer thing! That is awesome. I stay cold so I totally get it.
And, about the facebook deal..y'all are so very smart. Boundaries are absolutely KEY and you must have them. We all must have them. Proud of you.
Hope y'all have a great weekend.
On the edge of my seat waiting to hear back from Debra and get an update soon on the Haiti situation.
Hugs and blessings~
Fran
Oh...and my kids are 13,12 and 9 and I STILL hate taking them with me to Walmart. Ugh.
I've been a long time reader of both blogs and so appreciate your openness and honesty. I've learned so much and grown so much in my walk through your example as a daughter, wife, and mother. I just want to say that you totally deserve a place to be just you and if FB is that for you, then by all means keep it to yourselves!!
Sweet Amanda,
Don't you dare feel bad about FB!!! I don't accept people as friends that I don't know, and wouldn't expect you guys to do that either!!
You are a gem!!
Susan
I love reading your blog. I am in the process of starting up mine. But I am thinking it will be a while in that it took me a week to come up with a username for this google account. I don't blame you for the facebook friend list. I do the same thing. Blogs and twitter are fun but facebook for me is a place where I keep up with my family and friends that live faraway.
So how is the no eating french fries going? I had to make french fries for the family supper the other night that was kind of hard not to snack on one but I didn't.
God bless you and your family
I love reading your blog. I am in the process of starting up mine. But I am thinking it will be a while in that it took me a week to come up with a username for this google account. I don't blame you for the facebook friend list. I do the same thing. Blogs and twitter are fun but facebook for me is a place where I keep up with my family and friends that live faraway.
So how is the no eating french fries going? I had to make french fries for the family supper the other night that was kind of hard not to snack on one but I didn't.
God bless you and your family
I love reading your blog. I am in the process of starting up mine. But I am thinking it will be a while in that it took me a week to come up with a username for this google account. I don't blame you for the facebook friend list. I do the same thing. Blogs and twitter are fun but facebook for me is a place where I keep up with my family and friends that live faraway.
So how is the no eating french fries going? I had to make french fries for the family supper the other night that was kind of hard not to snack on one but I didn't.
God bless you and your family
Amanda,
I think that you are very wise in your decision regarding FB. Your post actually got me thinking more about the list of "friends" that I have on mine. Boundaries are healthy.
Thank you for sharing as much as you do about your family and your life...I realize that you don't have to do that but you chose to.
It was nice to meet you this past weekend!
Blessings,
Bethany in CA.
P.S. I don't have children but I despise Walmart. Went there the day after Thanksgiving (I was temporarily out of my mind!) stayed like 30 minutes and left...it was ridiculous! I choose Target anyday!
Kudos to you about your decision regarding FB! The "fishbowl" life (espically that of a PK, PW, etc.) is hard and can be painful with way too much unneeded drama/judgment. I admire you for taking this stand (and Melissa) too. You have inspired me....I think I'll go on a "de-friending" spree too. giggle. You are an inspiration. Love ya!
I just closed my FB account a week ago. I tried to dwindle things down but it still didn't feel right. FB is just too personal for me. I felt like I was eavesdropping on people and learning things about them I didn't need to know. There was no mystery left. I just don't need that kind of knowledge or drama. So I just got out of there completely. I haven't missed it for one single second. I have heard from a few people who couldn't understand why I left but I'm not going back. I know I made the right decision. These people will have to *gasp* contact me the "old fashioned" way by email. ;-)
So all that is to say please don't waste a single second on feeling guilty! You have to do what is right for you. ((hugs))
Melissa
Amanda, I have followed your blog for a long time. I found you through my friend Erica Harris Stidham. I have absolutely loved reading your blog and the LPM blog. I have wanted to comment many times, but for some reason I haven't. When I read about Curtis running the hairdryer on his legs, I couldn't help myself. I have never met another person who does this besides my husband!! Finally, there is someone else out there! I can't believe it. We've been married 11 years and there is no changing him, so he now has a hairdryer for that purpose alone.
I also want to encourage you in your FB decision. You absolutely need your own personal space. FB is crazy enough having friends you know in real life. I can't imagine being in your shoes and having people all over the world obsessing over you. (And I mean that in the sweetest way, but I think that's what we women can sometimes do - obsess over other women and make them idols.) You seem to have such a tender heart, so I know it must have been a hard decision. It was the right decision. You deserve some privacy and some normalcy in your life. Surely people can understand that. And if they don't, we'll just pray that they do. You share so much on your blog, which isn't private. People should be grateful to know that piece of you, which, by the way, is always so refreshingly honest.
Keep posting. I love your heart!
I COMPLETELY understand about the FB thing. I have a blog that is layered so deep that NO ONE would be able to find it if they knew me. I just need a place to let it all hang out. And some of the hang outs are ugly . . . and while I never name names, if someone close to me read it, they could figure out who's who in about .09 seconds. Only my hubby knows about the "hidden blog."
Your personal life is yours and Gods to do with it what the both of you see fit. I'm glad you have healthy boundaries!
Amanda,
I am playing blog catch up...I was reading this one and I absolutely LOVE that ya'll keep your friends and family closer than the "outside world." Jesus had an inner circle and I think that is what keeps your mom and you all so grounded in who you are...
Ya'll are authentic in your love for Jesus and each other and that shines through...KEEP IT THAT WAY!!!
I pray God's protection over your relationships with Him, your family, and friends!
God bless!
Amber
It makes me a little sad that you feel sick telling us that you need to have boundaries. You are a LOT like your mom aren't you. At the SSMT she mentioned about not getting to hug EVERYONE there on Friday night. And she probably would have pushed herself to, if she didn't have wise women around pushing and perhaps pulling her out the door.
Amanda, you HAVE to have a life outside of the spotlight...you JUST DO! Not only for yourself, but for your family. I would think anyone who was offended by that, was rightly NOT on your fb friends list!!!
(ummm sometimes I warm my feet with my hair dryer)
Melana
Just so you know...if it matters...I agree with you about your facebook decision.
Also, want to say...thanks for allowing us to be apart of your lives....and for sharing "life" with us other moms.....
You don't have to...but you do...means alot.
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