So last season's Bachelor and his fiance have broken up. And it's messy. If anyone cares, here are my thoughts.
I think Jake is probably a man of faith. It was hinted at over and over again and the word "faith" was used numerous times. In the first few episodes of The Bachelor, you could see a difference in how he did things. For example, there was one girl who was saying she wouldn't kiss him until she was the last girl standing. He seemed moved by her convictions, but when she just used it to tease him he let her go. Another time, one of the bachelorettes snuck down to his room at night (the one he picked in the end, actually) and he made her leave. I can't remember the other things that made him stick out to me, but I was convinced he was a Christian guy. Curtis vehemently disagreed with me. How could a Christian guy get on there and make out with a bunch of different girls? Well, I have done some idiot things as a Christian, but I assumed Jake had a plan to go through this show with his integrity intact. What about that little matter of needing to choose a partner who shares your faith? I'm pretty sure the producers of a TV show are not going to be trusted to pick contestants like that. There were a couple of girls on the show who appeared to share Jake's faith and I thought it might work out for him. But in the end he chose the woman who was constantly portrayed as a vixen. That was after the overnight dates that I hoped he might do differently, but didn't.
If there's a lesson here, it's that when Christians attempt to play the world's games with our own rules, it often ends badly.
I watched the interview between Jake and Vienna on Monday night. Oh my word, it was a train wreck and I could not look away! Jake and Vienna have been living together during their engagement. Apparently she is "demeaning" and he is "controlling." She spent a lot of time in tears and he seemed cold and angry. She says he started refusing intimacy, which, if he really is a Christian, is probably because he has been under conviction about it. Vienna said his reasons were wanting to wait for marriage or because he was fasting. At that point I nearly threw up in my mouth. Jake, please tell me you were fasting from sin, and not fasting from intimacy for the sake of prayer - which is a verse for married people (1 Cor. 7:5). Bleh!
The only reason I'm taking up the time and space to write this is because I saw myself in the train wreck. That was me 12 years ago trying to be someone I wasn't. I had the Holy Spirit living in me but I was living in a way that constantly grieved him. The horrible guilt and refusal to turn from my sin made me miserable. I was always angry and my heart was icy cold. I was trying to play the world's game but I lost. Badly. Satan tells us that God's ways are not for us, but against us. He never wants us to have fun, never wants us to be popular or important. We deserve to be free from his restrictions. But as we saw during that interview and on the cover of all the tabloids at the grocery store, Satan only wants to turn us into fools. He'll talk us into getting into bed with him and then be the first one to point the finger and accuse us (Rev. 12:10) to God.
God's commands are meant to give us freedom. Freedom from guilt, shame, fear, reproach, humiliation, and scandal. Glorious, abundant freedom. Believe me, it is so much better on the side of freedom. If you haven't been over here in a while, come back for a hometown date. Life is good here.
"And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?" (Deut. 10:12-13, emphasis mine).