Tuesday, July 27, 2010

To a Whisper

This blog was born about a month after my son, which means I've been at it about four and a half years now. I'm not sure it has much to offer anyone else, but it brings me a lot of joy. For one thing, it helps me stay in touch with friends and family. It also gives me a way to connect with other women who are experiencing the same things I am going through. I will never forget how much advice you all gave me when I started potty training Jackson and how much support you provided when I was desperate for him to learn to share. I have sent links to those blog posts to numerous friends so that they could glean from your wisdom. More recently, I was struggling with a painful heart issue and you all encouraged and challenged me in a big way.

I think my favorite thing about blogging is going back through my archives and reading all the mind-numbing details that I torture you with. They give me great delight. However, I never fail to think that I was a much better blogger in seasons past. I wrote more frequently and my posts were more clever. On one hand, I would say it's because mothering and managing our home is requiring so much focus that I'm lacking in the creativity department. On the other hand, I think life has just gotten harder. It's not all fun and games and I can't portray it that way. That's probably just a normal part of this stage of life. There's a lot at stake. And as we all know, life is complicated. For many reasons, things have been pretty intense in our family for the last year and a half. It would be tempting to think my family alone in this, but I know better. I look around at my friends and we are all dealing with big stuff.

This is where I struggle when it comes to blogging. I really do want to write about the major events and struggles going on in my life, but sometimes it just isn't smart. I have to think about the way my sharing will effect the ones I love. Thank goodness I'm not stuck inside these four walls with only my laptop. God has given me some amazing friends and family members to walk through life with. I know I can fulfill that need to share and be encouraged through my close in-the-flesh relationships. But when I feel like I can't write about something important going on, it sort of brings my blog to a whisper.

63 comments:

Big Mama said...

You just put words to what I think is the hardest part about blogging.

Marla Taviano said...

I liked your blog before I knew you. You're a good writer and your honesty and humor were (and still are) so refreshing to me.

I love your blog now, because I know you in real life, and it's a great way to stay connected and invested in a friend who lives many, many miles away.

I pray for you often, because I know that along with the many unique and amazing blessings God has lavished on your family come hard, hard things that take extra-huge amounts of strength and grit to struggle through.

When you think you just can't take any more of the enemy's crap, may God give you just the boost you need to make it through one more day.

I pray that when you're tempted to wish you could just be part of a "normal" family, that God will sweetly remind you what a beautiful part you're playing in his kingdom.

Did that all sound super-trite and Sunday-schoolish? I hope not.

I love you, friend. In the happy hours and in the whisper times.

Meg said...

Well just so you know, I ADORE your blog! You are so witty and funny and you are one of my faves!! I understand your whisper, but hope I am cheering for you and praying that your whisper becomes a cheerful shout before too long! :)

Ginger said...

I am so thankful for your blog and the wisdom you share. It is so nice to see you living life, as we do, and offering His love without a second thought.

It doesn't matter how random your posts, or the content, we know they are from the heart and that's all that matters.
Thanks,
Ginger

Missy said...

I totally get what you are saying in this post. It's almost like we need a private blog for just ourselves to write out the "hard" stuff. I guess that's what used to be known as a journal. I was never good at that...for some reason typing is much easier.

Kelly said...

Can I just say Amen. I totally understand this post.
I do love your blog and how you are honest and real and you make me feel like I'm not alone so often. And you make me laugh.
So keep writing............about whatever! I'll read!

Dionna said...

I can feel your torn heart on this issue. It's a blessing to have those you know read what you write - and yet also a curse. Sometimes I will write something in the passion of a moment at God's leading...but I won't post it for months. I never name names but simply refer to a situation I'm going through (fear, anger, feeling lonely w/o friendships, handling issues in my children's lives, etc) - it has worked for me in the fact that no one ever knows what I'm referring to although I do often have to tell my mom (when she calls me out of concern) that I wrote something months ago! :)

Kirsten said...

Ack, I struggle with that too! I own a business that makes me very public to a lot of families in my area and always struggle with what to put on my blog and what to keep private. I do enjoy reading your blog!

Amber Cessac said...

I am the exact same way right now. Everything big that could (should?) be on the blog just can't go there. So the blog slows down. I feel ya.

Kimberlee said...

It's in the whisper times that God is the biggest. Less of us, more of Him. I'll be praying.

bethany said...

And you've summed up the reason that it took so long for me to write my most recent post and why so many other things in life aren't blogged about. I think it's very important to keep many things private.

I love your posts though and definitely disagree with you...your posts are as witty as ever. I mean, the raincoat post? Hilarious.

melanie said...

I think it's wise to just keep quiet when you aren't sure what to say. You are putting your loved ones first and protecting them and that is definitely the right thing to do. I love your blog... You always make me laugh with the way you describe things and the funny stories in your life. I miss getting to see you, so I'm really glad to keep up with you through your blog. I definitely feel the connection too reading about Annabeth's antics b/c Laney does many of the same things! Love you friend!

Ashley N said...

I really do love your blog...your sense of humor and wit come through so well in your amazing writing. I read it because you have a talent with the written word that captivates. I can imagine that it must be very hard to find that balance between "being real", but not putting everything out on front street. I hope your life will settle some and you'll feel a renewed peace soon. Keep writing, I'm gonna keep reading. Much love...

Tabaitha Kaye said...

You said it perfectly. Blogging is a fantastic way for me to keep in touch with family and friends, especially while distance separates us. But there are times when I really want to write something that is on my mind or a situation that we are struggling through, and can't. For moments like that, I have kept a private blog, where I'm the only reader. It's my own little journal. I can write whatever I want without having to worry about if someone will ever read it.

Wonder Woman said...

You are in such a busy and critical stage with those little ones! The focus you put in now will be giving you a big payout before you know it!

You write a wonderful blog, Amanda. And you are so right that some things are just for the flesh and blood people in our lives! I think finding that balance is hard enough for me, but must be so much harder for you.

You are doing great job!

Kathy Cubley said...

Some things are meant to stay a whisper in God's ear, and I have always felt that you have used discretion in what you have shared. Life is hard! Doing it well is harder! I think that God will continue to guide you as you struggle what you should or should not share on this blog. I love your wit, and the randomness of your posts. I also love the honest glimpse of someone who may stumble but always gets up and shares how God ministered and healed her heart. People need to know that they are not alone in the tough stuff that this life offers. If you do not post , I miss it, but I am reminded to pray that God is blessing you and that as you are walking out the path He has placed before you, you're having too much fun to stop and write!! I love the laughs and the lessons!! It all good here. You are loved

Siesta OC said...

Amanda, you have been such a inspiration to me as far as a woman who loves JESUS, early 30's and living a beautiful LORD-filled life. Sometimes in the OC its easy to forget its possible and I as a single girl who loves the LORD, find it hard to stay focused. You and your family, have brought me such a great picture of normal :) people who purposefully love JESUS and walk it out, so whisper or not, it's blessed me tremendously.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Amanda....your words have always touched me...you have made me laugh so many times...
I think this is a battle for every blogger....but I know your situation is different...being Beth Moore's daughter...I think you do a great job..

Ashley said...

LOVE your blog, perfectly said! =)

Jamie said...

I hardly ever comment but I love your blog. I'll read about anything you want to write about!

And your daughter is just so cute! And your son too!

Ashley said...

I totally, completely agree. This is hands-down the hardest part about blogging. Maybe I need to start a private blog, just to "unload." Loved your thoughts!

Tracy: said...

You are such a sweet soul! That is so evident in your writing! You have an entire group of "anonymous" friends praying for you too! You are the real deal, sister! Thanks for sharing your day to day life with the internet! You are appreciated!

Kim said...

I sat at my own computer last night wanting to write - but everything just seemed too personal and hard. The funny stuff didn't seem very funny or worthy of writing about. Thanks. Just thanks. I needed this whisper this morning.

Mrs. Smith said...

Amen and Amen and Amen.

(and can I get a little direction on how to find that post on potty training???)

Immeasurably More Mama said...

There have been seasons when my blog is quiet too. I've been reading yours for about three years and it is always entertaining, real, and encouraging. So I will keep reading if you keep writing!

Melissa said...

Amanda,

I love your blog and always look forward to reading. I loved your post about the bachelor. That was so encouraging. I am single and it is hard sometimes to keep living the way God wants us to live in a dating relationship. Your post put it all in perspective and really helped me to know I am doing the right thing!! Thank you so much.

My life is very different from yours as I am single, but your blog is one of my favorites. :-)

Maybe you could be the "Blog Whisperer" HA!!

xoxo,
Melissa

Rhonda said...

Could not agree more about keeping some things private. You write in a manner so many moms and women can relate to. Your silence may be a God - given reminder for us all to be still before the Lord, to love and live life with our families and not just blog about it. Wise words in this one. You did good:)

Casa Bliss said...

Amanda, My blog has come to a screetching halt. I've been in the hardest season of my adult life. You encourage me!!! Even a whisper...

Susan B. said...

We love the things you share with us. In fact, I was thinking last night that you and your family seem more like friends to me and not strangers. Life is complicated, and it has so many different stages. You're a very smart lady, and through God's guidance, you know what to share and what not to share. Just know that we will pray you through the whispers.

Little Steps Of Faith said...

I am not married, and not a mom as I think you might know. So anything is considered profound to me:)

You are right about the personal stuff though. I get it. I have a friend who thought even though her life was under a magnifying glass that she would just share without care what people thought, down to her deep thoughts.
And she found out she was wrong that it would be received well.
Its not that people judge really, I think they just get used to us being a certain way, and that's how we see them, if they share MORE sometimes I think it seems out of character and wild in certain instances. Like my friend.
And even I've experienced this.
We just have to be careful not to let anyone fall, by any words we say, but that we try our best to let it not be our words anyway.

Like you said, its why we have that group of people in our lives that we do. Not everyone needs to hear everything, but where we need to minister to others, we can do that, letting God choose the words:)

I love your blog, and 140 character thoughts too!

:) Blessings!

ang

Buckets of Joy said...

I have followed your blog for awhile now. I too enjoy your writing even though my children are a little older (15,14,10,8). You make the everyday sound fun! I have debated with myself about beginning a blog. I had the same concern. Am I wanting to truely journal the whispers or blog about the stuff of the day. I have yet to decide, but I enjoy the laughter and joy yours has brought me. I know there is real stuff in your life that brings you to a stop and a time to journal, but thanks for sharing the everyday!

Lauren said...

Could not have said it better myself, Amanda!!!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Right there with you. Our lives are swirling right now. It's hard to focus on my thoughts and keep my writing from seeing like a stream of trivia (because that's the safest stuff to talk about, when Big Things loom).

But it's OK, I think, to let the blog go to a whisper. It's part of the rhythm of blogging. (At least, that's what I tell myself. Feel free to join me in my delusions.)

Bobbie said...

I feel that what you may be experiencing is part of growing 'older'--(not old!) and some of our lives shouldn't be shared on a blog! Your family is a special family that is loved by many, but please share only what is comfortable/when it's comfortable without feeling like your letting your blog community down! You're a wonderful daughter, wife, mom and friend that is also a very talented writer. From a Mom of a 36 yo and a 33 yo. Enjoy every minute you have with your little ones--they'll be 36/33 before you know it and you can blog all you want!

Keep whispering as long as you need to, and know that we're praying for you and yours.

Wendy said...

I think we all struggle with what you just so eloquently put into words for us. Life is hard but throw being in the ministry with it and the hard sometimes does not do it justice. Thank you for sharing!

God's not so little dutch girl said...

Amanda,

I always enjoy your posts! I love seeing the pics of your adorable children. I love your honesty, and I completely understand your desire to protect your loved ones privacy. Thank you for giving us little glimpses into your life.

balmingilead said...

I think we've all been there....and are still there. But your blog has remained a delight to me, even if you have to whisper sometimes.
How many times have I been so moved to write what could be regarded in my mind as a "masterpiece of written communication" in relation to the big, hard things going on in my life.....but I can't publish it or really let anyone else see it because it would violate my loved ones privacy.....as well as my own privacy.

Kristie said...

Amanda,

I have loved reading your blog! Can't tell you just how many times God has used something in your posts to encourage me and to spur me on. For that, I thank you!

For those times when you want to write a post but can't, take heart:

Psalm 139: 16 says

"...All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

They've already been written--in God's book. God knows. We can rejoice because He's in charge, and He is with us! His plans are to prosper us and not to harm us--to give us a hope and a future.

Lauren said...

I know exactly what you mean. There are a lot of things I'd write about if it wouldn't affect/hurt/frustrate certain family members.

Kristin said...

I am new reader to your blog, probably 6 months at the most and please know that you are not talking into space for nothing!! Many of your posts have impacted me and many of your readers comments have impacted me! Even if its at whisper. I respect 100% your desire to keep some areas sacred and safe, please continue to do so. Thank the Lord for real life friends that we can unload on and be filled up by!! Here's to many more blog posts!

Marc and Charity said...

I think that is so true about blogging. I blog for my family and friends to know what we are up to overseas but there is SO much I would love to write about but it would not be smart. Thankfully we can go into more detail in our monthly newsetters,etc but still. I would love share all the time but just can't!

RosyRose said...

I love to read what you and your gang are up to :) You are great with words! I totally know what you mean...it just gets really tricky to be too real on "the blog".
You still got the clever tho!:)

Mary said...

Hi. I was just thinking about they same types of things. I recently wrote a post on my blog then posted it...5 minutes later I deleted it. It wqas what I was feeling, but then I realized that what I wrote may have hurt a couple of my friends.... But the fact that I got my feelings out, even if I am the only one that read it, it was very helpful...

mhutsell said...

Thank you for putting to words what I have felt a thousand times when I have wanted so badly to put words to my emotions and instead hit delete or type nothing at all. I realize that the temptation to complain or appear negative are so amplified at times when raising 6 children gets so hard. I want badly to get it out...but the Lord says no. So...just saying I get it.

Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Girl - you are so not alone! I feel the same way with blogging - I want to share it all with the world - I live life as an open book - but the hubby - not so much lol!

So out of respect for him I have to be careful what I share. Just this Monday I wrote a marriage post - 34 ladies linked up to it which was wonderful. It was about following our husband's vision for our families. My husband made a BIG career change 3 years ago and it was so hard on us all...I couldn't share all the details to encourage women - all I could say was - I've been there, I cried, it was hard, but 3 years later we have come out on the otherside and I am SOOO glad I supported him and stayed loyal and did not listen to others around us.

Whatever you are going through - you are not alone. Reading your posts helps us remember we aren't alone either - we all share these struggles as young moms. It's a sanctifying process isn't it!

Keep walking with the King!
Courtney

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Amanda-girl. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.
I have practically quit blogging after being an almost daily poster because I could hardly come up with anything "funny and witty" anymore.
Life it tough. And it is far less than wise for the entire W.W.W. to know about our personal issues. That's reserved for those that we know we can trust with the tenderest places in our hearts.
Hang in there, hun.

Mitzi said...

WOW, I so get it!!!

My blog is not read by many people, all family and friends, I think. But it was started as a way to update family about the kids and that includes some very opinionated family that I don't want to know all my business. I also have Jewish inlaws who get offended when I talk about my beliefs and then my husband gets mad at me for hurting them.... so I feel like I am hiding my light and not being true to myself. Recently I shared about going through IVF and having a miscarriage. I felt really called to be honest and vulnerable and all I got was flack!! It's just not even worth it.

Wow, sorry I just biffed that all out.... all that just to say, I get it!! :)

Susy said...

Im pretty new to your blog but I love your writing! I have been listening to Wisdom for Moms by Joe Mama and she read an excerpt from one of your blog posts and it was amazing! If blogging is a spiritual gift, you got it! I do agree with the dilemma though, what do I keep private? What should I share? Will my daughter not like me airing her toddlerhood out?? I try to be discerning!

Heather said...

I've felt like I've been in a whisper for a while ... I thought it was a funk but you put to words so well where I'm at. There are just some things going on that are just not wise to share on the www

Tara G. said...

Amanda, I think that is exactly how it ought to be. I think that there are a lot of lonely women(and men) out there and all of the social media options open to us can be very tempting so that the relationships right under our noses and neglected or even cut off- and I think that the lonliness is only temporarily satisfied, if at all.

Toknowhim said...

I understand... I can lean toward wanting to share it all, but there are times when things should be worked out with God alone...or with God and those He has given you to live life with.

I have enjoyed reading your blog over the past 4 years... I just can't believe it has been that long :)

Good Stewarts said...

I'm sorry you've had such a hard year and a half. I have been praying for you all.
As I read this post, it made me think of James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
I know that verses like this don't make trials any easier, but hopefully they are encouraging to you. :)

mamank said...

Amanda,

I know exactly what you mean. My blog has become less than a whisper because the past year was so hard for me. I call it my "year of fear," but it has also been a year of grace and mercy and God's good gifts...I just haven't been able to write about them! Funny how, at times, the things closest to our hearts (even the good things) can be so difficult to share.

Also, I was talking with a friend recently about sharing things that are part of other people's stories, too. Like you, the only conclusion we could come to was sometimes the only answer is silence.

That being said, write the random! I have an almost five-year-old and a four-month-old...I relish your tales of toddlers! They remind me I am not alone!

Catrina said...

God is in the whisper, Sweet Lady :) He shines through every post I've had the priviledge of reading here! You and your willing transparency is a blessing to each of us walking through this life of motherhood & ministry. Blog on! :)

HisTreasuredPossession said...

I really like this post b/c I've found the same struggles last year. It's tempered my blog a lot.

Glad I'm not the only one who must "whisper," even be silent, at times.
~rachel~

Alana said...

I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I am only supposed to write about the good times in my life when I really want to share about some of the hard times as well. I feel like sharing some of the things I have faced and am dealing with could help someone else, but I just don't know about putting out there for the whole world to see.

courtney said...

amen, sista.

Melissa Stover said...

this is so perfectly said and understood by all bloggers. sometimes the things we want to say most are the things we have to hold inside.

Kelli said...

Marla said what I was thinking exactly.

Listening to the whispers and the shouts friend.

kari said...

The verse that came to my mind for you when i read this post... Nahum 1:3, "HIS WAY is in the whirlwind and the storm...," love you, k

The McClure Boys said...

i find this to be one of the hardest things about blogging. i don't ever want to make my life seem perfect, but some of the stuff in life is just too big to blog about. and, i want to focus on the good, so i tend to blog about those things...it's just hard sometimes!

katiegfromtennessee said...

Same here, Little Momma Amanda, I feel the same way...I think it was the part where you said life is complicated, amen, for many reasons.

suzanne said...

I've been reading your blog for awhile now, and I enjoy your perspective. My oldest son and your son are about the same age and one of my daughters is around your daughter's age too. I understand completely when you refer to the sometimes difficult circumstances that can't be revealed to the world. Know that you have many people out there holding you up in prayer. You have an amazing attitude and a heart for God that is truly evident in your writing. God can still use you in the silent times. God bless!