Bill has now been missing for more than 48 hours. Curt checked the animal shelters but they didn't have him. We'll probably try again tomorrow just in case. Yesterday Curt and I were really sad. I was surprised by how low I was and even more surprised by how low Curtis was. Of course, I do have perspective. I know this is only a cat. My world is not ending. I'm just sad that he's gone.
Today I've tried not to think about it too much. I don't want to keep wondering what on earth happened to him. My mind has imagined so many awful things. There's a group of Santeria-practicing people one town over who sued their city for trying to outlaw their animal sacrifices. Which means they are now allowed to do animal sacrifices. Even that crossed my mind.
If we never find him I have to believe two things:
A) In the words of Shelby on Steel Magnolias - Bill would have taken a few moments of wonderful over a lifetime of nothing special. He was not happy only being indoors.
B) He found a sweet elderly couple without any toddlers who would pinch him or pull his tail.
Curtis was so sweet to make some signs and hang them around the neighborhood. They were up for about an hour before it stormed...again.
We are having the worst weather. I won't even bring up what it was like on the day we went to camp and on the day we came home. Yesterday we had two separate rounds of bad storms. For the first one Jackson and I were out and about. I did okay with it, but not great. I was at the gym last night during the second one. I was taking cardio circuit and the whole time I was gazing out the windows. At one point I swear I heard the tornado sirens going off over the music. No one missed a beat, but of course I had to walk out and see if I was right. I wasn't. But then I could not stop shaking for several minutes. I knew that if a tornado hit the gym we would be in terrible danger from the free weights swirling around us.
What is my problem? This fear is taking over my life. Actually, it took over my life years ago and it's finally choking me to death. I don't know if it's getting worse or if I'm just getting abundant opportunities for it to flare up. I'm thinking about going to a counselor. Seriously! For my tornado-phobia! Are they going to laugh at me? I think I read in Marley and Me that they had to give their dog a tranquilizer any time it was about to storm. You know, Beckham is very much afraid of thunder. So maybe we should make a little trip to his vet. And maybe he will be nice enough to share the goods with me.