Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Change of Plans

Tonight didn't go so well. It turns out that when you have a baby strapped to your chest and your 3-year-old in the same class with you, you're about as useful as a goldfish. And as frustrated as a...I dunno. Something really frustrated. I've decided to stay home with the kids and let Curtis represent the Jones family. I'm feeling bummed and very humbled. On Thursday night I'll get to go to a special Houston Project Metro with Curtis. My parents are keeping both kids, so that will be great. I'm going to bed now and plan to wake up and speak truth to myself - I am not a failure just because I bit off more than I could chew. Along with my toast and tea I'll welcome a heaping portion of his new mercies.

45 comments:

Emily said...

You're a great mom!! And I think it's awesome that you would step outside your box and stretch yourself in an effort to be a blessing to others. You really, truly are. Here's to hoping the rest of the week with the kiddos brings fun surprise blessings! :)

Tara G. said...

Amen.

Marc and Charity said...

I'm sorry, I feel your pain too. I tried to go to something this past week with all 3 girls, we ended up in the hall the whole time- Addison was crying and Bailey fell on the stairs and busted her head.

Kelly said...

Amanda. I have struggled a lot lately with not being able to serve at church like I did before. I think I've even been depressed about it. Something you said once rings in my ears when I get down. " this is
Not my season to serve ( or for missions) this is my season to be a mom to babies". (that is not a direct quote). That helped me a lot

Ellen said...

I'm a pastor's wife who so appreciates the fact that you are real: struggles, frustrations, and defeats. I know there are seasons in life. Right now, you are raising children whose lives may have a great impact on the Kingdom of God. No higher calling.

The McClure Boys said...

Girl, I'm so sorry! You are an incredible mom and nothing close to a failure!

Gabby said...

Oh Amanda, please do not let Satan make you feel defeated! I wouldn't have even been able to get my baby in the snugli when my son was three! You ARE serving him by serving your children and husband!

Tara said...

Thats probably one of the hardest things for me to deal with is that life just isn't gonna happen the same with two small children. I have had to find other ways to serve, (like making a snack and dropping it off! ha!) instead of staying anywhere to help hands on. Just know that we have an extremely important serving job right here with our kiddos! :) I have to remind myself of that by the way....
Have a wonderful morning with your tea, toast and mercies from our sweet God :)

Mary said...

The important thing is that you tried! I don't even take all of mine to Target by myself yet :)

Becky said...

So true, you are not a failure! You're just the mom of 2 little ones.

tiggerdaisy said...

Amanda,

I know this doesn't make you feel any better, but I sure am glad to know that I'm not alone. I have a 22 month old baby girl and a 9 week old baby boy. Many times I feel left out of activities due to nursing and/or the extremely loud and disruptive behavior of my baby girl! However, I wasn't supposed to have any children according to the doctors, but God healed my body and allowed me to birth two precious children! So even though I don't get to do all the things I so desperately want to do (like enjoy a whole church service or participate in church activities or even have a spontaneous date with my husband), I can rest assured in the fact that I am abundantly blessed with my little ones! You and I will get through this with God's grace and mercy. What makes the deal even sweeter is that God has blessed us with amazing husbands who actually help us with raising our children. We are blessed women indeed!

Much love to you! Praying for you this week!

Rebecca

ehardin said...

This phase doesn't last as long as it seems too. I have four kids, so I know!
It will get easier. She is at the age its not as easy to take her places. She's not big enough to hang yet, and she won't sleep anywhere like she used to....
It will get better.
2 was the hardest transition! 3 was the easiest! Hang in there!

Kylie said...

Oh girl, I feel ya. I have a three year old son and a one year daughter and my husband is a youth minister. Taking my kids to events usually means that I do nothing but wrangle kids... we still try to do what we can. Juggling ministry and small children is no small feat! Just remember, what I tell myself often, this is just for a season.
You are a wonderful mother and a tremendous minister. Take advantage of your parents when you can- I use mine when I can :) and definitely "welcome a heaping portion of his new mercies!" One day your children will be grown and they'll be ministering right alongside you!! That's a thought that makes me tear up when thinking of my own. :)

dawn said...

As others have said...seasons. I'm a mom of and 8 and 13 year old and clearly remember the frustration of being a mom of little ones and feeling like I couldn't give in the ways I had in the past. Be encouraged...there are plenty of those seasons of service coming! And you never know what will work or not until you try, so bravo for giving it a go!

Hope you have a wonderful week with your kiddos and find some moments to bathe that ministry in prayer from home. :)

Monica said...

It can be such a hard season, this caring for two little ones. I miss ministering alongside my hubby in ways like the Houston Project or Children's Camp at Tejas. Our first year of marriage we served 5th & 6th graders in NE Houston and served HFBC kiddos at Tejas and had a blast. The next summer, we had an infant and well, it's never been the same. I know it's a season, a sweet, precious, probably shorter than we realize, season...you're doing a good work!!

Jennifer said...

Amanda, there are a few locations that have a nursery for the volunteers.

Lynn said...

The Lord wanted your willingness to serve Him and you gave it to Him. Be at peace.

Enjoy His tender mercies!

Blessings,
Sister lynn

Lauren Kelly said...

Awww, girl, it gets better!! Hang in there :)

bethany said...

Praying you were blessed by His new mercies this morning Amanda!
You are not a failure girly! You just bit off a little too much. May you have special blessings with Jackson and Annabeth today and tomorrow then have a wonderful time serving on Thursday!

Kristi said...

I remember those days, sweet one! What does His word say? There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under Heaven. You are right where He wants you to be. Enjoy your time with your precious babies, and I know that you do because your blog overflows with your love and joy in motherhood, because it really does go by too quickly. My dear daughters are 16 and 12, but only yesterday tiny babes. Blessings to you this new day!

Heather M. in AL said...

As others have said, it is JUST A SEASON. And I have one of those boys...and he is a joy now at 8. And as a librarian, I can tell you that the library would love to meet Jackson Jones. (Most libraries aren't as quiet as they used to be and have great interactive storytimes.)

Holly said...

...new every morning, Sister. Drink those mercies in.

Different seasons. Yes, they are hard and yet wonderful.

Alice said...

I am mostly a lurker here, but I had to delurk for this. The first year with two children is incredibly hard. I look back (3 years ago)--and it's such a blur of frustrating moments. It takes awhile to begin your ascent and finally hit cruising altitude (when they're both potty trained and can buckle their own seatbelts!)

One thing that helped me was a quote from "Disciplines of a Godly Family": "Look around the breakfast table--there's your ministry." Those two little ones are your primary ministry right now. It won't always be that way, but for now it is. And even with mine at ages 6 and 3, I feel like I haven't truly listened in church for years (unless my kids are elsewhere). That's why I love so much that verse in Isaiah about how the Lord gently leads those of us with young. He understands how hard it is.

Katie said...

Amanda! Remember this: Who I am and what I struggle with are not the same thing. You are not a failure!

I want you to know how encouraging it is for me to see that such a good mother and woman like you also struggles with defeating thoughts about herself. It makes me realize I'm not weird and crazy when I struggle with feeling that way. I don't have kids yet, and I love to read your blog. You are such an amazing mama that sometimes I catch myself thinking "I won't be as good of a mama as Amanda", but of course I know that's a lie. Girl, you are amazing. Keep your chin up because you are victorious!

Love ya, KT

Sunni-Nichole' said...

I'm going through the same thing. I want to be involved in so many things, but having a toddler (and hopefully another baby soon) makes it not so possible. The Lord was really speaking to me about it this morning. I keep reminding myself to bloom where I am. Right now it's time to be a mommy to little ones. One day very soon, they will be grown and I'll have plenty of time to serve in all of the areas I so desire.

Sending you hugs over the blog! God is so good!

Kristen said...

In your last post I thought it was so great how you were having faith that the Lord would work out the details during HP. Be assured that He is working them out and that He is so pleased with your faithfulness and obedience.

debra said...

You are NOT a failure! Absolutely not! Actually, a successful momma since you know when and where everyone is happy! Wish I lived closer and I would sit with those two for you. I promise the time will come when you can be out there again. It will come in a flash. And look at me... I am about to start all over. Crazy!

Jesus Chick said...

Been here and felt that, girl. My MIL used to tell me that same thing another commenter did about serving the Lord by being a mom and wife. Helped me a lot. And also a sahm has something others don't have...time to devote to prayer. You could stay home w/ your little ones and pray for the event.

Heather said...

I love what Kelly said about the seasons...and it is so true. Enjoy those new mercies, friend. I am right there with you and so are so many.

Melissa Stover said...

i know how you feel. sometimes i feel left out right now but i have to remind myself this is a season and i am needed right where i am right now.

CAROL LIVIN FOR GOD said...

Amanda your am awesome mom and you are Loved on this blog ans all of us seista's cherish all the moore women Love you
Carol Albuquerque nm

Spicy Magnolia said...

One day, sister. One day you and your kiddos will join your hubby to serve all together. In the meantime, I pray the truth that you are not a failure did sink in this morning and that you know you are an incredible blessing to oh, so many, myself very much included. And you are His delight. I'm sure He got great joy seeing you carrying Annabeth and wrangling Jackson. He loves you so!

Susan said...

Father God, I am sure that many of us join Amanda in thanking you that your mercies are new every morning. Please renew her mind and spirit with encouragement. I ask that you would pour down your grace, guidance, and love on this sweet family as they go forth to proclaim your name and minister to others through your word this week.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Wow. I relate to this post in huge ways, so the comments have been a double blessing. It's good to be reminded that this is just a season.

Jen said...

Sister, I know you are humbled but I am encouraged. As a first time mom (of a baby girl 5 months old) reading your post about your week of serving left me feeling discouraged about my lack of serving as of late, and frustrated at my lack of flexability. I was reading about super mom and I felt the furthest thing from it. I am so grateful you're real :) So sorry last night was hard - enjoy ministering to your children this week!

katiegfromtennessee said...

Aww, ok, it's all good, no worries Little Momma:) Speak that truth to yourself, girl! This way works too:)

katiegfromtennessee

Danaly said...

Another lurker coming out just to thank everyone for the great comments. I've been struggling with the same issue (my kids are your kids age) and it was nice to read what everyone had to say as well as see how you (Amanda) give yourself some grace and receive his mercy. Thank you for being real! - Danaly

Kelli said...

I agree with Sister Lynn - He knows in your heart how badly you were ready and desired to serve Him and His people in need. And you are serving Him greatly by raising up those precious babies of yours to love Him and serve Him!

Jennifer said...

That's right Amanda... You are not a failure!! The Holy Spirit has been faithful to provide lots of reminders for me to pray for you this week! Hope Thursday night goes well.

Oh and we returned from our trip to Disney a few weeks ago and I wanted to thank you for all your posts, as they were so helpful. I actually thought of you while we were there - especially when we walked on by the Dinosaur ride!

You are such a sweetie Amanda!

Love,
Jennifer

auntie m said...

God is so pleased with your willing heart to serve. You time will come - this is just a very busy and important season of your life as a mother with preschoolers. That is your main mission - don't get discouraged.

Stephanie said...

I wondered how you were going to pull that off. I was impressed, and yet, a little down on myself that I don't try hard enough to take on those big projects with a baby strapped to me. It's somewhat comforting to know other mom's can't do everything that they'd like to do or that even others tell them they should be able to do. When you're a nursing mom or even a mom of really little ones, it's hard to do stuff like that very well. I always feel a little guilty or like I'm not pulling my weight when I have to leave for 15 minutes when serving in the nursery to nurse Caleb. I hope you can be encouraged by your own quote that Kelly mentioned about "seasons". You are serving God by raising those little ones. A good friend reminded me that we have two lost souls under our own roof.

Cheri-Beri said...

When my kids were your kids' ages, I had to step back from volunteering for anything. It was too much, especially with a baby. I slowly came back to volunteering @ church when my son was 4 and daughter was 18+ months. And then the only reason I could do it was because I could keep my very timid daughter with me.

Once she was okay to stay in her class at church (around 4 years old), I was able to teach Sunday school again. Honestly, for years the only ministry I could do had to revolve around childcare/classes at church.

But I promise it's short lived. The kids are 11 and 13 now and I really don't have many limitations on what I can do. It really is okay to step back for awhile and focus on your kids. In fact, I think I remember a Bible study in which your mother mentioned the same sort of thing.

Deirdre said...

Amanda,
I want you to look at how many hearts you ministered to HERE on the blog by being honest about your struggle.

Now can you understand that god knew, and wanted this to happen. He knew your reach here and wanted a message of hope delivered to some hurting mommas who read your blog.

hugs,
Deirdre

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

I may not be a mama at home with her babies, but this really struck a chord with me. Man.

The Davidson Den said...

Oh, I think I bite off more than I can chew on a DAILY basis. And it makes me feel just terrible about myself. Good for you for recognizing that "you are not a failure." And praise God for those new mercies! We wouldn't be able to get out of bed without them.