Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Dear Bride-to-Be

Dear Bride-to-be,
You are experiencing a wonderful time of your life. People are showering you with gifts, paying you profuse attention, and telling you what a beautiful bride you'll be. Girls your age are chatting you up on all the latest bridal trends and talking about the clarity of your new diamond. They ask what kind of wedding band you'll get to match.

If you happen to rub elbows with any ladies who have graduated from brides to wives - it happens in the blink of an eye - they may slip you some advice here and there. You'll probably hear "Love him for who he is. And don't expect to change him," more than once. Although you will both change, it probably won't be on your terms. The big sis figure in your life might advise you on how not to get a UTI on your honeymoon. She may even give you some tips on how to delay that big, bad ugly word very few brides-to-be want to think about - motherhood. *Shiver*

While you're complaining about the stress of planning a wedding while finishing school or maintaining your career, you'll overhear an older woman say softly, "I would love to be a bride again." You won't really get it because you can't see past the wedding budget and your massive to do list.

Ladies like me, who have enjoyed marital bliss for 5-10 years, will come to your bridal shower and marvel at how quickly time passes. One day we were wearing pretty veils and the next thing we knew, our badge of honor was a hospital gown. How quickly we were brides, then wives, and now MAMA!

I'm starting to feel bitter. I'm sorry. I was only writing to pass along a piece of advice. Are you ready for it? Get your pen and paper ready. You know those nice wedding gifts you're getting? One of them might even be a really extravagant serving piece that your mom's friends went in on together. Don't save it to use someday when you host a fancy party. Use it now. Enjoy it. Don't hide your china away where you can never reach it. Make it accessible so you can enjoy your morning coffee or afternoon tea in a fancy cup. Or give that casserole you botched some extra oomph by serving it to your hubby on your nicest plates. Put those things to use now because you just never know.

But whatever you do, don't store your favorite thing in a place where one of your precious, darling angels can grab it out of the cabinet and unite it with the cold, hard floor. It won't be pretty. You'll cry and want to give someone a spanking. But you'll know it was your own fault for not putting it in a safer place. And, after all, she's only a baby. The sting of a ceramic shard lodged in the bottom of your foot will be nothing compared to the regret you'll feel for being so dumb. And for crying over a piece of fired clay when your baby is infinitely more valuable. You'll consider the irony that that serving piece was something you hoped to pass down to your adorable little stinker or even her own daughter. If only she hadn't broken it!

And as you're writing a blog post to burn off the steam, you'll realize that your sadness over that wedding gift might have just a teeny, little bit to do with missing your newlywed years.



Mug shot.



The end.

97 comments:

shana said...

Bummer Amanda, I'm so sorry!
Hang in there!
Blessings,
Shana

Marla Taviano said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry!! Was it one-of-a-kind?

Taylor said...

Oh my gosh, crack me up!!

Lauren said...

Oh no! I feel your pain.

The Taffs said...

Oh no! How sad! But how can you do anything but grin at that cute little face?!

Melissa Sue said...

What can I say but "Amen."

*sigh*

Tales from the Williamson's Trails said...

Aaaawwwww, bless his lil heart. I'm sure he didn't mean to. What a great story this will be when he gets married, HA!!

Sarah said...

cutest mug shot ever.

Brittny said...

I love it!!! I found your blog a little while ago and just love it. I feel like you would be a dear friend of mine if we had grown up together. I was actually pregnant with my first baby when you were. I was at a conference your mom was doing and understood b/c she said she was waiting for your call and I was hoping to call someone, anyone, to say I was in labor too! I know we will never meet (here on earth), but I laugh b/c we so much in common these days and I love your honesty about it all! You say it so much better than I do! God bless!!

Deciduous Heather said...

Awwwww. I am sorry you lost your beautiful dish....You offered some good advice to newlyweds and I could relate to everything you said....but by the end I was LOL and I was totally laughing at the MUG SHOT! Priceless, precious.....face <3 Has anyone ever told you that you are one talented writer? :) Awesome post.

Ria Thurston said...

So good post! Especially for a newlywed... how can you be mad at that cute face?? Too adorable :)

Cathy said...

There is no way you could stay mad at that face!!! Such a cutie.

Diane said...

Oh, Amanda, such a wonderful post. I saw this on Twitter - but what I loved the most was that you followed it up with how we truly store our treasures in Heaven, rather then on Earth.

However, I have to believe seeing it break was extremely hard, and I am VERY sorry!

Bobbie said...

You, dear Amanda, are adorable! (So is your precious darling little angel!) You're way with words is a great gift! I'm trying very hard not to laugh, since I know you lost a gift that meant a lot to you. Can you use the bottom of the dish w/o the lid?

I'm really missing Bible study tonight-think I'll go read over this week's lessons.

Kelly said...

Guess who broke my crystal sugar server? (like in a cream and sugar set) ......just tonight. So funny!
Shouldn't have kept it in the lazy susan in the bottom cabinet. Too tempting to little hands.

Angela said...

Laughing....
Only because I feel ya girl! Ava just broke a bowl that went with my china the other morning. Tear.

Hey, at least we were using the china! ha ;-)

Loved this post! ;-)

Brittney said...

love it! so true... it goes by in the blink of an eye... I've been married 9 months (to the day today!) and my my how FAST this year has gone! I can only wait to see what motherhood will bring me... but I definitely miss being a bride!

Sorry about your plate :/

Melissa said...

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Jenny said...

oh, i don't comment, but i must say, that looks like a mackenzie childs serving piece and i have to say, that's worth crying about. (: Sorry she didn't pick the corningware to destroy.....

kcooke said...

AMEN! My mom told me the same thing. My brother tumped the TV over and broke a water pitcher that had been my grandmothers grandmothers. But my brother was not hurt so Mom was okay. One day, my daughter broke one of my Precious Moments that was part of a collection. I remebered my mothers words and hugged my daughter. Many things in my house have been broken but it doesn't matter. My children are WAY more valuable than things! Thanks for the reminder!

Holly said...

Save the pieces and make something to give her someday Amanda...it will be a message within a gift for when her own daughter breaks something.

A new tradition! And we Aggies love tradition!

Sorry though :(

Annie said...

LOVE this post. All so very true! And Miss Thang's mugshot is too precious!

connorcolesmom said...

Oh NO!!
Bless your heart!
But at least you have a good perspective on it :)
And it honestly is the best advice
Fortunately my MIL told me that when I got married and we use the good china and enjoy the "fancy" things b/c only God knows if He will choose to bless me with tomorrow - So I need to enjoy today :)
Much love
Kim

k and c's mom said...

The accused seems like a happy and well loved baby!

The Barfuss Family said...

Oh no!!! Bless both of your hearts.

Angela W. said...

Oh Amanda! You don't even know me but I feel your pain. Mine was of the set-of-four-beautiful-glass-pillar-candle-holder variety. And it was all my fault--I wasn't paying close enough attention to my small monkeys. What crazy mom leaves a 2 yr old and his 10 month old brother alone in a room with such beautiful things on the coffee table??? It has been a year and a half and I'm still sad.

Paige said...

:)

paige

Megan said...

Aww i loved this post, it is all so true. First of all I wish somebody would have warned me bout the UTI (ugh!) and I wish I would have enjoyed my "bride" time more. Sorry about your serving dish! But that mug shot picture is so cute!

twinkle said...

I know that given your talents and your creativity, you will think of something beautiful and soulful to make with those broken pieces.
And you are so very wise to know what is the most important thing...her heart.
But I am so very sorry about the accident. I know it was a treasure. Think hard about making something out of the pieces.

The Swan's said...

I LOVE THIS!! Very well written. I am so sorry about your beautiful piece. My sweeties have broken so many things my husband wonder why we have anything nice.

Lindsey said...

That is really a good piece of advice! I didn't get the "fancy" china we registered for but we did get the overpriced dinner set that we wanted. And we use those everyday. I remember being devestated when a dinner plate got chipped.
Sorry to hear about your china. They were beautiful.
p.s. The mug shot is adorable :)

courtney said...

My heart hurts for every bit of what you describe here. I'm really sorry, and I know that my boy will be doing this very thing very very soon.

Kerri said...

love this!

JW and Susy said...

I love it! The tragedy of the broken treasure and the naughty true treasure that destroyed it! I love the contrast between our bridal veil and the hospital gown. Never thought about it like that!

Courtney said...

I'm getting married in 17 days!! This meant so much to me!! God knew I needed that!! I will cherish my time as a newleywed and I will definitely put important fragile things in a high cabinet when I have babies!!!

Sister Lynn said...

That's the cutest little culprit I've ever seen!

Blessings!
Sister Lynn

Sarah said...

Completely well written, Amanda. And noted.

Marc and Charity said...

Ouch. So sorry.

Tara G. said...

I have a little stinker who is into EVERYTHING. I had no idea what I was in for. The china looked like it was a lovely piece!!

Hayley said...

great post - there was never a cuter mug shot! or better advice - I'm getting out my china tea cups for some hot tea now!

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

The culprit does not look too repentant!!

Will it a life sentence or a pardon??

Leah

creative gal said...

good advice. . .sorry about the dish! She's so cute, though, you must forgive her immediately! :)

Rhonda said...

Cutest mug shot E-V-E-R!

Erica said...

I'm so sorry...I know the sting of that!
I had these gorgeous candle sticks that I brought from College Station to Tampa, FL. They made it all the way there, unbroken. As I was unpacking, I sat them on the tile floor, duh, and in one move knocked them over and shattered them into a million pieces. I was devastated. Yes, I loved them, but it was also like breaking something in my marriage. Dumb, I know, but I sat there and cried. Probably b/c I was 1200 miles away from home...
Anyway, I get it!
She is far more valuable, and you know that! I got upset about spilled apple juice in the mini-van. So not worth it!
Have a blessed day, sweet Mama!

Kim said...

First - the culprit is so darn adorable! - You make some amazing points. I have been married for 24 years and usually save the best stuff for someday, whenever someday might be.

Another note for the bride-to-be, wear your nice clothes for your husband. What you bought special for your wedding night, should come out on a regular basis. There is more to life than flannel!

Kristi said...

Precious, Amanda. From one who now passes along tips on how not to get a UTI on your honeymoon!!!

Deirdre said...

aw sweetie. I'm so sorry it broke, but its only stuff. I know you know that. And please don't miss your newly wed years. that time of adjustment to the other person in your life, the unintentional hurts and annoyances that you both had to work through. okay, yes you had a bit more leisure time to lavish on each other, but don't spend even a moment missing that time. We are made for eternity and the future. and right now, your reality is a wonderful husband, two precious kids, a family that adores you, and a strong walk with your loving heavenly father.

Put the pretty pieces in the trash can, have a piece of chocolate and go cuddle AB. Everything will be fine.

hugs,
Deirdre
p.s. and if you miss your newly wed years that much, just attack Curt with a passionate kiss when he comes home today.

spiritmom said...

Here's a cute story...some dear friends of ours got married right out of high school and were told they could never have bio children. 6 months later she got pregnant and they were never able to have another. So guess what? At age 38 they are empty nesters!!! And yes, I am so stinking jealous! They travel like crazy and have a blast! I love my kids, but I miss those lazy afternoons with hubs on a rainy day, spontaneous movies, long naps, I could go on and on...

Lis said...

Oh I have been there. Your right it's just a piece of china, but it was precious to you. May God bless your little baby and keep her safe from pretty things that break... Going to see your mom in Atlanta in April, so EXCITED! My first time!!

Rebecca said...

I am sorry Amanda, I know you are frustrated - but her face is too precious!!!!

Debbie said...

OH NO! Poor thing, she just couldn't help herself, it was so pretty ;-) I've given in to accepting the fact that all of my lovelies may very well end up in pieces one day, as some already have. Makes you realize that all of those things are...well, just things. I *try* to remind myself how great it is to have such a curious little explorer around the house :-) Ha!

Jesse and Lacey said...

this post made me smile this morning. it feels like just yesterday i was a newlywed even though it was over 5 years ago! most days now i find myself at work with no jewelry (because my little one likes to pull my earring out), baby breakfast somewhere on my outfit, and with a pacifier in my jacket pocket. I think tonight we will dinner on our china - thanks for the sweet reminder to enjoy those things now...why wait!

CAROL LIVIN FOR GOD said...

I felt bad when I saw the broken piece but then I saw the picture at the end and just cracked up she is so adorable. How can you resist that beautiful face and the hair so cute she is.
Have a good day
Love Carol

Kelli said...

They always seem to be the cutest when they cause the most trouble!

The Rabe's said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lisa said...

I am so sorry. I had that same lesson with a piece of my china and my rambunctious little guy when he was younger. Here's the kicker: my daughter cried over her brother breaking some of my china because she knew it was important to me! Take care of you today.

Gabby said...

I will never forget when my four year old son dropped his wooden pop gun and put a huge dent in my husband's great grandmother's hope chest while he was CLIMBING ON IT and knocking the buffet lamps off. I nearly cried. Yet, he was such a cutie, I forgave and moved on, now I have a story to tell to his kids one day!
Newlyweds, I am definitely bitter sometimes, but I would not go back!

Kari said...

Loved your post.... think I will try one too:

Dear Mother-of-a-Toddler:
You are in a wonderful time of life, extremely draining but oh so fulfilling. Your toddlers shower you with sloppy kisses and their eyes light up at the sight of you. Their little arms wrap around your legs and extend up to you to be held. You may even hear ladies that have graduated from this stage tell you to enjoy every minutes because they grow so fast. And, even though you are in the throws of exhaustion, you understand that as well.

Someday, your darling toddler, may tell you she wishes she had a different mom - you embarrass her. Someday, your precious baby will chose to spend time with friends rather than you. You may want to start preparing your dear heart now for these words.

You will hear other mother's say, "So glad I am not in that stage anymore." but what they are really saying is, "I miss those days. And if my body was not in the state it is in, I would go back and enjoy every slobbery kiss and savor it for all it is worth! And, instead of wetting down my child's static hair, I would smile at it and know this is another thing that will pass way too soon!!!"

Sorry about the plate!

Allison Talamantez said...

Oh my goodness....I broke many pieces of my mothers deceased mothers china....I still have guilty feelings to this day. Just know that AB did not mean to and will ALWAYS remember this story.

Angela said...

Been there, sister! Great post.

Beth said...

Oh, that DARLING little dickens!

Emily :) said...

I am so sorry Amanda. At our house we have so many things that are "brokeded". I'm convinced I could put my nice stuff on the roof and my kids would find a way to get to it. I took one of my crystal pieces to a shower this weekend and I always introduce it as "one of the few nice things I have left". :) It is good our real treasure is in Heaven. I've run out of hiding places in my house!!!

JayCee said...

That's hilarious and tragic all at the same time....great writing skills, by the way!

I used to have the most precious blown glass flower arrangement that an aunt and uncle gave us on our wedding day. I'm sure it was very expensive. I had it on display and one day my husband brushed up too close to the shelf it was on and it ended up in what seemed like a billion pieces on the floor! It was so sad....but the good news is that was almost 30 years ago and the marriage is still intact and flourishing!!

Lindsee said...

I'm so sorry! You've most definitely had an "eventful" week so far. Definitely filing this lesson away for future reference!

On the upside, this could quite possibly be the most creative way to blog about it. So great!

Siesta OC said...

SHe looks like a rebel, taht one! I am sorry - thank you for the honest blog post - I loved it, i hope to marry one day, so I was paying attention. darn it that accidents happen.

peace to you (love the mug shot - with the hair up on all ends!)

ThirtysomethingMom said...

Oh the pain! When my daughter was two she broke a one of my china cups. I felt the same way you do. It was my fault that it was in a hundred year old China cabinet that the doors didn't close correct and were easily opened. Thank goodness she wasn't hurt.

HIS Child said...

Amanda ,

You are delightful.
And AB is the icing on the cake.

Love ya,
Celeste

TheLudlows said...

To cheer myself up after moments like this I always say- "At least our marriage lasted longer than ____." And it helps. Just a bit.

Emmy said...

Cute post... I am so sorry... but that mug shot just stole my heart! : ) Hysterical!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry with you.

Katie said...

Oh man, Amanda, I am so sorry! But everything you wrote here is so true! I've been married almost 4 years and I think about how I would have done things different if I could go back (focused more on some things, not focused so much on others, like actually being married and not so much trying to have the "magazine" looking wedding). I am also just now in the process of ordering my china (I never could make up my mind if I wanted formal or just really nice pottery stuff! Thank goodness my credit is still good at our local gifts boutique!) and I've pretty much decided against the formal stuff (its not really me anyway, and unless its being used its only a breakable hazard anyway. Thank you for reminding me of that!). I want something nice that I can actually use and if it does make it to my future kids, at least it will have memories attached to it. I absolutely adore your pattern, but its discontinued I think:( But, I opted for Lenox Butler's Pantry pottery which is classy, yet surprisingly practical. Thanks for writing about this, its so hilarious but it also makes me think! Awesome post!

Tracy: said...

So cute! I'm sure that was a precious item that was broken but look, just look at those eyes and that adorable fly-away hair! Nothing can replace being a mom!! Thanks for sharing!

mamacoppedge said...

Hey Amanda! This is my first time to leave a comment on your blog, but I have been a devoted reader for over a year! (I am so ashamed that I never commented before!) But today, I just felt like I had to comment...and it isn't even really about today's post. I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your post from 2 days ago. The last line of the post, where you said your husband was God's grace in your life. That was so perfectly what I felt about my husband. I actually wrote a post about my husband and boys on my blog and I did a link over to your page because I made reference to the comment. I hope you don't mind. You have a beautiful family! I wish we lived closer...I think we would be the best of friends.
Abundantly Blessed,
Michelle

Siesta OC said...

She looks like she's wearing bibby's monk outfit , er, snuggie in her mug shot! so cute!

annalee said...

NOOOOOO! i can't decide which picture is more pathetic. the beautiful pieces broken or miss priss' mischevious grin afterwards:)

Sarah said...

Oh, this was funny! And she doesn't look too contrite, either. Bless BOTH your hearts!!

Tae Tae said...

Well said Amanda.Well said.
-Carol

Alana said...

You are so funny...I feel your pain though. However, mine was due to the clumsiness of a husband, not a child!

The McClure Boys said...

have I ever told you about the time that Jacob was holding one of my mom's precious pieces of china and i ran over to him, telling him to give it to me, and he threw it at me? and it landed on the wood floor in a million pieces? I feel your pain...not just about the china, but about missing those priceless first years, too. :)

katiegfromtennessee said...

Little Momma, thanks for the advice. I think I will start using those deer dishes that we got from Bass Pro as a wedding gift now instead of letting them collect dust in the china cabinet. The bowls are quite large, and useful for deer chili...you make me smile, Little Momma:)

katiegfromtennessee

Kristin said...

It looks so pretty even in pieces, such a bummer! I think the guilty is too cute to be charged!! I have recently found your blog and even though I read you on the LPM blog, there is something different about reading, just about the Jones family. Thanks for letting this stanger gain Godly wisdom, enjoy some laughs and some woes with you and yours. Happy almost Friday!

Leslie said...

I loved being a bride, but hated planning a wedding. One of my sisters is getting married in November and called me yesterday to ask for advice about how much this and that cost. We moved into her experiences so far in the planning stages, so I got to relive some of the drama. So my main advice to her was to not focus on the wedding so much as on the marriage that follows. Otherwise you may not still be in love once the wedding day comes! :-)

Allison said...

Blake took one of my favorite crystal vases that I got as a wedding gift for a ride on one of his push toys a year or two ago. It didn't end well. I think it was one of the few times I cried too!

GranMom said...

I took a friend's broken teapot that was special to her. I used the pieces to mosaic a birdhouse for her. I used the spout as a chimney on the birdhouse and have to say that piece came to mind when I saw the broken china. Oh, I hope you didn’t throw that away!! Cute mug shot and I love your blog!

G. said...

awww....feeling for you. :(

Angie said...

aw shoot! that has happened to me too. you inspired me today to get out some arthur court salad picker upper things to serve my salad with that i NEVER use and we've been married 10.

Lara Harris said...

Oh, I am so sorry. I had my grandmother's old pyrex bowl (the big yellow one, where the other three fit in it) break when one of my daughters dropped it and I bawled over it.

We also had a very special bottle that we made for the end of "Breaking Free" that was so tender to me. ( I would love to share what we did with you sometime). My daughter had taken it down to look at and perced it in a precarious position and, you guessed it00it shattered at my feet as I saw that "Work of the Lord" crumble as well. Of course, the work did not crumble, but I understand so well the turmoil and conflict. So glad that you can smile at her sweet face.

Ginger said...

That is too precious! What are you gonna do with that sweet lil' 'innocent' face?! Ha!
Ginger

My-An said...

Amanda,
you are a talented writer!
I'm sorry you lost your beautiful plate. Thanks for a good reminder. I might need to go check my china cabinet so see if I need to remove anything!

Kay @ Off the Beaten Path said...

Bless your heart! So sorry about the shattered preciousness. You might enjoy my post today in which I tell about a precious piece of cut glass that has managed to hang in there with my family. You're right though. Use those things! And then hold them loosely, because they're not really the most valuable possessions after all.

Miss Mommy said...

That baby is pretty adorable. I am also totally unable to determine what kind of piece that was...?

Emily/Miss Mommy

Allyson said...

Love this post! Sorry about your broken china!

Moose Mama said...

It looks like it was something very sweet and special...much like, but not quite as wonderful at the gift with the fun hair :)

Today is my 27th anniversary. Things will get better, things will get worse, things will get great...

Love you, Amanda.

Melana :)

melanie said...

hilarious! and so true about using all those pretty wedding gifts b/c you never know how long you'll have them! cute mug shot... annabeth's hair is getting so long!

Kim ~ Kay Kay said...

Gotta love 'em!
My sister had a shelf break in one of her kitchen cabnets years back and it happened to be the one with all of her special dishes.
So, she took the opportunity to make stepping stones with them. The pieces she cherished, she kept those stones and the others she gave to people as gifts. They were very pretty and a neat thing to have in a garden or backyard! We all thought it was a wonderful idea.
So, if you kept your pieces just take a trip to the craft store and pick-up a kit. It's an easy craft for what you have. I think they're called "Garden Stones", others might be called something different.
But hey,you could make it and then give that to her someday for her own garden.
Just a thought.
Hope you have a great weekend!

Lori at The Davidson Den said...

Amanda,
You are so amazing. This was so well-written. So clever and creative. And so, so wise.

Mariah said...

why am I bawling my eyes out? This may seem strange, but it's so encouraging to read a blog where someone really loves their kids, selflessly...I'm so touched by that.

Thank you!