Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Foiled

I have to tell on myself today because Curtis isn't the only one with a foil story.

When we went through pre-marital counseling, the counselor mentioned that I have a very strong sense of justice. I tend to see right and wrong in black and white. That may explain why my parents called me Mother Superior when I was a child. I hate to say it, because as a mom I'm not very fond of this kind of kid, but I was an awful tattle tale. My poor sister. Our family consisted of one maverick father, one teacher's pet mother, one teacher's pet first-born daughter, and one maverick baby daughter. That combo made for some dynamic family dynamics. Mom and I always wanted to correct Dad and Melissa and they always wanted to shock us and knock us down from our high horse. I'm not sure why I wrote that in past tense because it's largely still the way things are! We love each other deeply though.

When I was in elementary school - second grade, I think - I found out that the middle finger was bad. Mind you, I had no idea why it was bad. I only knew that if you showed it to someone, it was very, very bad. I was indignant. My righteous anger burned against the third digit on each of my hands. So before school, I went into the kitchen and found some Reynold's Wrap. Oh yes, I did. Ten minutes later, I got on the school bus with my middle fingers wrapped in foil. (Because that's inconspicuous.)

This is why it was important that I learn some very hard lessons about self-righteousness and grace in my teenage years. Mother Superior had to be foiled.

66 comments:

Kiki said...

That is too funny.

I have a little of Mother Superior and Maverick all in one.

Tara G. said...

THAT is very funny!! I think I found out about the middle finger in second grade, too. I was trying to teach someone how to snap and held it up to show which finger to rub the thumb against and everyone went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!! We're telllllllllll-ing!!" I was mortified. Because, well, I've got that same personality you do.

Rhonda said...

Ohhhh.. I can so relate:)

Mariel said...

that. is. HILARIOUS!!! Just awesome!

thanks for sharing...from one "Mother Superior" to another!!!

ThirtysomethingMom said...

I found about the middle finger in second grade, too!!! I can't believe you foiled your middle fingers!!! Too funny! I was the older sister, too. My nickname was Queenie...it was not used in a nice way. I thought my little sister should be bossed. She thought otherwise. I did learn the bossing lesson once she was as big I was!

Hope things are getting back to normal around your house!

Have great day!

Gene and Annie said...

Funny!! :) I am very much a Mother Superior too and I really see myself in my oldest daughter!! She is so much like me!! It's so neat that God makes family members so different!! I love family dynamics and learning about how people interact!!

ThirtysomethingMom said...

I found about the middle finger in second grade, too!!! I can't believe you foiled your middle fingers!!! Too funny! I was the older sister, too. My nickname was Queenie...it was not used in a nice way. I thought my little sister should be bossed. She thought otherwise. I did learn the bossing lesson once she was as big I was!

Hope things are getting back to normal around your house!

Have great day!

HisTreasuredPossession said...

fabulous!! =)

I'm ooohhh so black and white. God's done a work to get some gray into my life and I'm grateful. But I'm a work in progress too.

My mom tells the story that, in kindergarten or first grade, a boy was in trouble with the teacher. I went up to the teacher and said, "I don't like how you're treating TJ." yeah...that's the way to go about it. =P

he he he...and now I see that same desire for rule following in my kids. Lord help us!
~rachel~

CAROL LIVIN FOR GOD said...

Hi Amanda that was to funny.
Anyway I don't know if you remember me about a couple of weeks ago on your mom blog I ask for you to pray for me, I have been with out a job since last Oct 2009 anyway I had applied for a TSA
at the airport and had been having trouble faxing info over to them well finally got it to go thru Praise God.
Well I passed there credit check and I am now going thru security clearence and background check, Have an interview Monday 3rd of May at 10:45 a.m. and they interview you do finger prints color blind test and fill out other forms. So please continue to pray and it is only 25hrs a week for now but I can handle that but I would really like full time but God knows.
Sorry this is so long but I wanted you to know that God is answering prayer.
Love you bunches
Hope all is getting better for you.
By the way this job will be at the Albuquerque Sunport
Carol

Good Stewarts said...

That sounds exactly like something I would do growing up!! Haha.

Amanda May said...

I don't even know you personally...but I have NEVER loved you more!!

Sallie said...

oh my gosh! two hysterical FOIL stories!! Too funny! Can't decide if the drain beats the middle finger!

Little Steps Of Faith said...

Okay so this is what i remember...I was leaving a babysitters and I don't remember why, but I gave the babysitter the middle finger(obviously no clue what it meant), and my mom saw and told me I was saying " No" to God by doing that. It made me cry.
She also said it was mean to do to my babysitter.
Wish mom would have expounded further than that then. Because I am scared to death to let that finger show, and yes, I probably would wear foil on my finger too!
Mom's are crazy.

To add about " the tattletale" I was that way too. I rememeber one time my mom got off the phone with my grandma and said, " I am over this." and so I told my grandma about it, and I was 6 yrs old.
Didn't mean to cause trouble, but somehow, they took a 6 yrs old seriously.
to make it worse when they asked me about it, I lied.

#completeconfessions

(and yes I did just hashtag in your post!):)

fuzzytop said...

Ooooohh I should have seen the punch line coming at the end - but I didn't! Hilarious story, Amanda. I love how y'all are comfortable enough to tell on yourselves.

Love and Hugs,
Adrienne

Julie B. said...

This is possibly one of the funniest posts you have ever written. Enough to make me want to actually leave a comment. Thank you for a wonderful laugh today, Amanda.

bethany said...

So funny. Sounds like something I might have done actually-I am definitely no maverick :)

But you were in 2nd grade when you figured out that foil doesn't actually hide something. Why has it taken Curtis so long to figure that out? :)

Holly said...

We call our Noah, Gentle Justice. It can be such a wonderful trait! He is quick to notice the wrong and try to right it.

I was a good speller in 2nd grade, so I came home spelling foul words from the bathroom wall and asking what they meant-- to which my mother (The Queen of England) said, "Ladies do not read the bathroom walls!" It makes me laugh to go to church and find the women's announcements in the stall--should I read them? Is that ladylike? Hmmmm.

Kristen said...

that's hilarious! our family dynamics were (and still are) much the same!

JayCee said...

LOVE IT....so funny!

My grandson, who is a kindergartner, just asked me the other day why the middle finger is bad........yikes....what do you tell a kindergartner and why are they learning these things so early these days?

Kelly @ Love Well said...

You. Did. Not.

That is so funny, Amanda. And I say that as a fellow Pharisee who's since learned the hard way that foil alone doesn't cover sin.

Sigh.

Beth said...

YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE JOY THIS BROUGHT ME!! Yep, you told it exactly as it was! The foil is a memory I will take to my grave. In fact, just go ahead and plan to wrap up my fingers with some Reynolds Wrap in my casket.

Mother Superior or not, I wouldn't have traded you as a daughter for anything in the world and, anyway, it would have been three against one! The odds are better this way.

I adore you.

Bobbie said...

You're too funny! I think I have a little of both, too! But the foil is hilarious, I know I would never have tho't of that in the second grade!!!

Siesta OC said...

SO FUNNY! AND NEEDED! THANKS!

Sara Re-nae said...

That's hilarious! The funny thing is is I am the exact same way. In fact our son's middle name is Justice! No joke.

Katie said...

Honey...STOP IT! That is hysterical! I remember learning about the middle finger...and seeing it used was horrifying to me. Eww, still is...

Susy said...

That is hilarious! I think I tend to be the Mother Self-Righteous at my house!

dorminyanecdotes said...

That is so very funny!!

Kristi said...

...ok...spewed coffee! You should warn us when we shouldn't drink while reading, Amanda! LOL Too cute. I have four kids that work out like this: I have two mavericks, 1 Major General(the oldest!), and 1 carefree, all is right in God's world child. Life is good... :)

Lysa TerKeurst said...

Oh Amanda...

That seriously made me laugh out loud!

Sheryl said...

So funny. My daughter, when she was much younger, came home and told me someone shot her a butterfly. I had to figure out what that was...because she at least knew it was something bad.

Sheryl

KR said...

That is PRICELESS! and profound. That which we try to conceal in ourselves becomes the MOST obvious!! love it.

Ashley said...

Oh my goodness this sounds so much like me it makes me chuckle. How funny!!! You are a great story teller.

Joyful said...

Absolutely hilarious! :)

Michele Helms said...

oh now that is funny!

Kristie said...

I think being the big sister just lends itself to "Mother Superior" characteristics (I almost typed "character flaws." Maybe I should have.)

Anyway, I remember being four and having my two-year-old little sister (yup, the maverick) sitting in front of me in the bathtub. She was doing her normal stuff, and I was trying to do my normal stuff--tattling...hollering for someone to come make her behave. She got irritated with the whole thing, stood up, crossed her arms in typical prissy little sister fashion, and arched her back proudly (since no one was responding to my pleas for justice)so that her chubby little rear was right in my face....of course, I just decided to handle the matter myself...and I angrily leaned forward 2 inches & bit a chunk of my sister's rear....and yes, my written re-telling of this story was the ONLY "A" I ever made on an 11th grade creative writing assignment. But it really happened. Should've wrapped her in foil instead. My spanking probably wouldn't have been nearly as bad. :)

AbbyLane said...

hahahaha bless your heart.

this.is.hysterical.

Audra Laney said...

LOL! I was very "black and white" as well. I once thought it might be better to take the scriptures literally and cut my tongue out so I would never say anything mean. Glad I didn't follow through with that as it would probably have resulted with me being labeled "crazy girl!"

Amanda said...

Kristie, I just laughed so hard I snorted. That is the funniest thing ever!

His Jules said...

Amanda, this is too funny! I love that you were the "mother superior" in your family! I have always wondered what you two were like as kids, in your own opinion not just your mom's. Kristie, I loved your story also!

courtney said...

Y'all are the only people who could make foil hilarious!

Lauren said...

So funny!

Gabby said...

HA!!!! I am still laughing after reading the comments. I have a Mother Superior inside me, and a daughter just like me... so watch out Annabeth!
My poor son doesn't have a chance of getting away with anything, as soon as she gets a minutes, my daughter will blurt out every detail of what he has done wrong.
The bright side? She has the sweetest heart and compassion like nobodies business... AFTER they have had their appropriate punishment!!!!

lavonda said...

I just laughed out loud!

I'm totally going to start calling my daughter Mother Superior... not only does she tell me everything her brothers do wrong, she tells me what the kids in her class do wrong to each other! You should hear the daily report I get in the car on the way home from school everyday. :)

k and c's mom said...

I am a first grade teacher. It seems like I'm constantly hearing (especially this time of year!) "Ommmmmmmmm! I'm telling!!!!" followed by the sound of stomping feet coming my way. I do not have to look up to know it is a little girl (it's never the little boys) who is seeking Immediate Justice. NOW!
I'm sorry to say, I'm probably reaping what I sowed when I was in first grade!

Sister Lynn said...

Oh my... this made me laugh so hard!!!

I was the "Mother Superior" too! Although the term my grandmother used was "headmistress" My sister and cousin to this day will say
"clip clop clip clop" and pretend they are horseback. Its their kinder way of telling me I am riding my high horse again!

You just gotta love the people that love us enough to tell it to us straight!

Thanks for sharing this Amanda!

love,
Sister Lynn

khull05 said...

Oh my word! That is hilarious. And so something I would have done. Another Mother Superior here. No joke, my little sister called me "The Nun" when I was in high school.

Lots of wearing down of that stinky pride in my life!

Uncanny Colleen said...

So funny!

tiggerdaisy said...

That is stinkin' hilarious! You are such a story teller--I love it!

You have brought laughter to the very depths of my soul tonight. Thank you!

From one Mother Superior/Teacher's Pet to another, prayers and blessings!
Rebecca

Mommy Dot Com said...

Laughed soooo hard. Now I feel like I really know you. Love you even more now.

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

Soo funny. I'm afraid I am the same way. I mean WAS. I WAS the same way.

Right. :)

Deirdre said...

I love it when your mom tells stories about you, but it even more fun when you tell on yourself. This is just too funny Amanda.

Shelli Littleton said...

Amanda, that is too funny! I was a bit of a tattle-tale, too ... my poor sister. I have a funny middle finger story, too ... my sister and I were in backseat of my grandparents' car, heading for a week visit with them. My sister and I must have learned about it and we were talking about it ... my little brother, must have been two at the time and must have overheard us; and as a total stranger passed by in a car, he pointed his middle finger at them (having no idea what he was doing). We never laughed so hard or felt so embarrassed. My grandparents?? ... we got a good talking to! :) But my grandmother giggles about it today!

Church Lady said...

That's a good one.
My 11 year old son is just like you. My 8 year old on the other hand is like your dad and sister. He is always ratting her out. I sometimes believe that she enjoys doing things to get him to tell on her. It doesn't help that she is a redhead. You know they already have a reputation for miscief. I call him mother hen sometimes.

C:M:W said...

All this foil talk is cracking me up!!!

Ginger said...

You so rock. Your stories are great. Thanks for letting us know you're normal... ha!

Allison said...

benefit to this story....kids that went to school with you in the second grade don't remember.

Seriously, poll us.

We don't remember.

But it made us in our thirty year old state crack up.

trinna said...

Amanda,

I read this yesterday, and I keep thinking about it and giggling to myself. Hilarious! And I love that you can tattle on yourself now. I wanted to be a Mother Superior but deep down I was really a maverick. So when I found out that was a bad thing, I couldn't help but try it out - where no one could see me. And then I felt guilty, of course!

melanie said...

i knew there was a reason i felt a special bond with you, mother superior! :)
i have alot of regrets from my teenage years too, being judgemental toward others. thank the Lord for His grace!!
foil on your middle finger... i can just picture it... too too funny!

Siesta OC said...

Kristie - that is too much! I laughed so hard!

And Sister Lynn - That is such a great reminder...get off that high horse, I like that!

Kim said...

That is hilarious! What did your sweet Mama say?

Messy Mosaic said...

That is too funny! My first grader came home last week and told me about the "Chinese cuss word" her friends showed her...and then stuck her middle finger in the air and hung her head. I about died!! She is very much a first born. :)

Cindy- My Life HIS Story said...

Cracked me up, girl. Needed that this Friday morning!

Lindsee said...

Okay, I am dying over this one! Oh my word. I think if we'd of gone to the same school I may or may not have laughed at your middle fingers. This is hilarious!

The Bargain Shopper Lady said...

That's so funny!

Lori at The Davidson Den said...

Hilarious. And not. I'm sure you know what I mean. You and I are more alike than I originally thought! Growing up, I was the same way! Definitely a "goody two-shoes." And I still tend to be that way! I'm sure you've taken that Spiritual Gifts survey before...the whole black and white thing? Gift of Prophecy. Right and wrong, black and white, good and bad. We tend to see things strictly one or the other. God uses that tendency in His own way to do great things for His kingdom. But we have to be very careful with what WE do with it! Just stay away from the foil...
:)

katiegfromtennessee said...

O funny! You crack me up!:)

katiegfromtennessee