Tantrums at the Pool

I have an awful memory from the summer of 2007 that haunts me to this day. Sunni, Janelle and I had been with Ava, Ella and Jackson at an amazing neighborhood pool. It was seriously like a resort. They were somewhere between 16 and 18 months old. Jackson loved the water and played so hard. Eventually he started to melt down and by the time I could get all our junk together to leave, he had lost it. It was nearly impossible trying to manage the pool bag, a loud and thrashing toddler who was very strong, and the dumb float that he never liked. The car was a long way off and I'd regrettably not used the stroller. I hope you're able to picture this.

Right outside the pool gate, I accidentally dropped the float on the sidewalk. I was already ticked about having to leave and embarrassed about the spectacle that we were, and at that moment I completely lost all sense. I've blocked out what I may or may not have said-slash-growled, but I definitely remember kicking the float as hard as I could. I looked up and realized another lady and her family had seen the whole thing. Luckily, the mom was older and she gave me a look of compassion instead of judgment. She said, "That's so hard. It just never ends well."

Ugh! I hate remembering that. I can't believe I lost it like that in public. I'm not sure my description sounds as dramatic as it actually was - at least to me. On the inside I felt totally out of control.

Annabeth was the epitome of a "good baby." She slept well, she sat in my lap when I wanted her to, she was easygoing and peaceful. My friends would marvel at this. And since she's my second, I knew it had nothing to do with amazing mothering skillz, a special genetic gifting, or anything besides a gift from God in the form of a mild temperament. All glory and honor and praise be His forevermore. Amen.

Three years have passed and now my precious little girl is the same age Jackson was when I made a donkey of myself at Sunni's pool. Annabeth is still a good and sweet little thing, but she gets spicier by the day. Only now I can laugh at it a little and it's easier to let it roll off my back. It wasn't very funny when it was Jackson because I didn't know it would end. People would tell me that but I didn't believe them. I think, too, that I've gotten used to humiliating and uncontrollable situations.

This morning we met up with several of my best friends from college - Maggie, Missy and Mel - and their little ones. I'm the only one who still lives here in Houston, so it was very unusual and exciting to get to do this. It happened once last summer when three of us had new infants to be introduced. Today we met in a home and tried to catch up with each other while the kids played. Jackson was the oldest, then Brynne at age 3.5, then Lucy and Annabeth who were born 9 days apart, then Nate who is 12 months, and finally sweet Maddy who was born on Jackson's birthday this year.

After a little playing, we got geared up to go to the pool. It took a lot of effort to get everyone dressed, sun-screened, and packed up. We finally got there and before we could step foot in the water, it was adult swim. During that time Annabeth had one of the biggest meltdowns she's ever had in public. There was literally nothing I could do to stop it. NOTHING. And I really wanted to hang out with my friends. And I really wanted to let my little guy swim. Bless his heart.

We made it long enough to immerse ourselves in the big pool for 30 seconds before I realized it was a lost cause. I told Jackson we were going to get a Happy Meal to try to ease the pain of it, and we made our way out. I was not happy. It was not fun. I was very disappointed, frustrated, and embarrassed. I definitely had to take some deep breaths. But I did not freak out!

I set my eyes on a Sonic and pointed my car that way. A Dr. Pepper with little round ice pellets (and I'm not gonna lie - a cheeseburger) would make me feel better. Do you know what helped even more than that? Remembering the donkey-pool incident of 2007. Similar circumstances - harder really - and a different outcome? Maybe, just maybe, I have grown as a person! As a mother! Praise the Lord!

Now that I've written those words, I need to give a disclaimer about how much I struggle every minute of every day as a mother. This is the hardest job in the world and I constantly wonder why God thought I was cut out for this.

This is Missy's son, Nate, after he was suitably sun-screened.



I could not resist getting a picture of his Coppertone Hair.

This is Little Miss Tantrum herself.

Mel's daughter, Brynne, and Jackson.

Maggie's sweetie, Lucy, and Jacks.

Me and the kids, Mel and Brynne (Maddy was asleep), Maggie and Lucy, Missy and Nate.

Annabeth fell asleep about 5 minutes into our 30 minute drive home. Once she was in her bed, Jackson and I went outside to play with the water hose. I had my Sonic Dr. Pepper and it was all good.

When we left the pool we were all soaking wet and in our bathing suits. Annabeth just woke up and all I can say is that swim diapers are not nap-friendly.

Happy Friday, y'all!