Thursday, December 15, 2011

Fried Chicken Shenanigans

This evening the kids and I took fajitas from a local restaurant to some dear friends with a new baby. The food smelled really good and I thought about getting some for us, but since Curt was gone for the evening I didn't want to get fajitas for just me and the kids. They really don't appreciate fajitas yet. I trust they'll eventually develop the palate of good little Texans, but until then, there's always fried chicken. Now Texans love some fried chicken, but who doesn't? 

I pointed the car in the direction of my favorite place to get chicken strips, fried okra, and rolls. It just so happens that this fried chicken joint shares a roof and a doorway with a gas station. Don't hate - they have the perfect crunchy, yummy batter. Nothing else will do! 

So we're in the drive thru, because I really don't want to go inside the gas station fried chicken place, when Annabeth says, "Mommy, I have to go tee tee!" There's enough panic in her voice that I know she's for real and can't wait. I parked the car and we went inside the chicken place to find a potty. 

I was so excited when I realized that the fried chicken place shared not only a roof and a doorway, but also a bathroom with the gas station. Yay! And the ladies side was out of order. Double yay!

We walk into the bathroom and I almost retch a the sight of a urinal, filthy sink, overflowing trashcan, and just overall disgustingness. At first I was too busy barking "Don't touch anything!" at my kids to realize that every nasty word in the English language is scrawled on the bathroom door. And guess what, y'all? My kid can read now. Let's celebrate literacy! 

Now I'm barking, "Jackson! Do not read the wall. Those are very bad words. Do not even try to sound those words out. Turn around and don't look at it! " 

By the time we stumbled out of there, I was in no shape to deal with the long line that had formed at the gas station chicken place. See, I'm not the only one that likes it. I'm convinced the deep, dark secret of my neighborhood is that everyone eats fried chicken from the gas station but no one talks about it. 

What could we do at this point but go home and eat leftovers? Boo hoo. 

So, folks, I think I learned a lesson. Sometimes it might be better to let your kid pee her pants. 

37 comments:

lori said...

Oh yeah totally agree! Haha. Been there girl. Go buy the Ikea potty. Keep it in my car for moments like these. Sheesh you may even need it yourself! I remember telling my son onetime to pee his pullup when faced with a wretched bathroom. Thank goodness it didn't confuse him.

csmcgraw said...

Thank you for making me laugh at the end of a very long day!

Tara G. said...

I completely feel your pain!!! I have seriously thought about getting one of those pads for little babies that line the car seat- you know, for that stage when they're always blowing a diaper out- but for my 3 year old. Because there are worse potties out there in the world- squatty ones that are elevated in gas stations with no toilet paper....my girls always wear dresses when we travel in Ukraine now.

Joe, Ash, G and J said...

Oh dear, I could just boo-hoo thinking about Chicken Express!!!

Cindy said...

Amen, Sister. Wet pants are a breeze compared to all the explanations!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Kirsten said...

Oh my word, I empathized and giggled with you at the same time after reading this post.... :)

Catie said...

Haha - the last part made my day :) So funny! And, I must confess...we get chicken from the "gas" station/chicken place too.

Carrie said...

I hear you!
Public Bathrooms in general freak me out - especially gas stations and port-a-potties! As a result, I have taught my 4 year old how to squat and pee...behind the car, behind the tree...wherever...and she does it no problem! The only thing is, she won't be able to get away with it much longer! Ha!

Merry Christmas:)

Laura Forman said...

I cringed as I thought about that nasty bathroom. That is why I keep a potty in the car for moments like these! But that fried chicken...now that sounds delicious! :) Maybe next time you will get to enjoy....

Kiki said...

I'm laughing so hard.

Levi always tells me in that panicked voice right when I get on Beltway 8.

bethany said...

That chicken sounds SO good. I'll have to get the name of that gas station/eating establishment from you :)

And after driving cross country several times, I definitely think it's better to wet your pants sometimes than face disgusting bathrooms. Or in a Chick-Fil-A cup. A-la Jakson.

Denice said...

So funny! I love when you were telling him not to sound out the words. lol

notetoself said...

Ok, now I'm dying to know where you can get fried okra from a drive thru around here. Please share. My next round of PMS thanks you in advance! ;)

Paige said...

Or . . . teach 'em to eat fajitas!

Love your blog, Amanda.

dixies_mom said...

Oh, Amanda! I'm laughing so hard! That would so happen to me! Let's just pray that Jackson has short-term memory issues due to the Christmas hoopla and forgets every word!

Michelle said...

I carry a potty in my car at all times. I have three girls. I can't tell you how many times we use it!!

Jennifer said...

Oh my gosh, you made me laugh out loud. And yes, I agree with you on the literacy thing. Sometimes I just need to tell Scott something without the little ones hearing (like do you want to stop for ice cream) and I can't even use the spell it out method anymore. I have resorted to mouthing it and hoping he can read my lips!

This Is The Day said...

Oh my goodness this post made me laugh out loud. We just started potty training on Monday and this was one of the main reasons I had been putting it off! It seems so much easier when they can just go in their diaper and then you can change them whenever you get home. So funny.

Rachel

Bourg Family said...

Kalencom has a travel potty that has plastic bags that go in it.(Sounds gross I know, but better than public RR.) It's awesome. It folds down very small so it can be stored in the car. You can also use it on the potty. kalencom.com

amyhawk said...

You are hilarious! Thank you for a funny blog that made my day and reminded me of the time I bemoaned the fact that my son could read. There is a strip club on a major road that we have to pass every time we go to my parent's house. It has a picture of a leg in a fishnet stocking, which my son always said was "Spiderman's leg." (Of course, we never set him straight)... and then one day after he had learned to read, we were driving by and he said, "Mommy, why do they have dancing ladies at the Spiderman store?" Try explaining THAT one to your six year old! :) Bless your darling family, Amanda!

Meggie said...

Oh my goodness, this cracks me up! I've never had a terrible public bathroom experience with my toddler... interesting yes, terrible not so much. I feel for ya and totally get the lesson learned!! =)

Shelli Littleton said...

Amanda ... this (profanities)reminded me of the time that we were all in the car together. A man driver got mad at my husband (road rage!) and pointed his middle finger at us. Our youngest daughter, Katelyn, saw what he did, except she thought he used his pointer finger. She said, "That man did this, Momma" ... and held up her precious little pointer (index) finger. My husband said, "Aww ... he's saying we're #1!" Amanda, I about died over with laughter. She had no idea what he was doing, and I was so thankful. They are 13 and 11 now, and I'm still trying to protect their precious ears (eyes)!

Gabby said...

Our girl would hold it a sweet forever. Then never fail, despite my prodding for her to go earlier, in the Wal-mart check out line of 12, she would have to go "right NOW" when I was next.
Almost left my cart and just went home one day, my son was only 18 months older, and he would touch EVERYTHING while she took forever to pee. Feel your pain!

Molly said...

I am so thankful you made me laugh. Especially the 'do not sound out those words, part. Hallelujah, I can just see him staring at his shoes.

Oh Glory you are one darlin, hilarious woman and I do appreciate it. Is it wrong I read it in your mother's accent?

Talley Family said...

We have a travel potty just for these occasions! It is perfect!

Rhonda said...

Our son and I came out of Wal-Mart one night and someone had scrawled a word that rhymes with truck and you in the dirt on my husband's truck. Fortunately, he is bad at sounding out words because what he tried to sound out came out of his mouth before I could stop him.
Good times....

Judi said...

I used to pack a potty for those moments, along with a complete change of clothes, plastic grocery bags, paper towels, and wet wipes. Came in handy more than once.

connorcolesmom said...

"Do not even try to sound out those words"
BAHAHA
That is TOO funny!
There is nothing like taking your children to a NASTY bathroom

Have a GREAT weekend!

Annie said...

Hahaha! This story was too cute. I love me some fried chicken, too!

Ronda said...

Um, hilarious!

Greg & Kim said...

I AM HOOTING AND HOLLERING WITH MY HEAD BACK!!!! LAUGHING AT YOU!!! I DID NOT EXPECT THAT! I TOTALLY GET IT!!! I am dying here!

I mean look what happened, she could have just peed her pants, but noooooo!

OH MY GOODNESS!

Spirt Mom said...

I kept pull ups in the van until my daughter was 4. I would just put one on her, have her go in it, and get out and throw it away. Might seem weird but I'm telling you, it saved me from things like that nasty restroom!

Emily said...

I have been in bed all day sick- needless to say, not the best day. BUT this post made me laugh! It also made me thankful (for once) that my little girl who is close in age to AB, has no interest in potty training. Maybe changing diapers is better then dealing with nasty bathrooms! :)

Sidenote, it seems like your family (and many Texans!) like to vacation in Colorado. Will you be coming out with your mom next June?

Jenni said...

This was too funny! I had to stifle my LOL because I don't want to wake my sleeping family yet this morning!
Thanks! :)

Allison said...

Or better yet, pee in the parking lot...yes, we have done it many times!!! :)

Shellie Paparazzo said...

Oh, boy! I'm so sorry! I remember those days all too well. This is when you need to have a pull-up handy!

Michelle said...

This post just made my day! I laughed out loud many o times! I pictured all of this happening in my head! Miss you friend!