Friday, December 12, 2008

Hard.

Y'all, sometimes I forget to approve my comments. I always, always, always read and love every single one, but sometimes I forget to post them. Sorry about that. I just realized I had like 19 waiting in there. My bad.

I have been looking forward to this day all week. It is December 12. Do you know what that means? Um, yeah, it's 12 more shopping days until Christmas, but that's not what I was looking for. Please don't remind Pregnant Girl that she needs to waddle through some malls at the pace of a snail while experiencing her many braxton hicks contractions and round ligament pains. No, I don't want to think about it. Curtis may have to take one for the team this year.

What I was getting at is that I am TWO MONTHS OUT from my DUE DATE! Yeah! Today I am 31 weeks along. On one hand I can hardly believe it, and on the other hand it seems like forever ago that I was taking a pregnancy test on our San Antonio vacation.

I have been planning to celebrate this day for the last week. But unfortunately I found out this morning that one of my BFF's, whom I lived with for 3 years in college, is losing her sweet mom. After a very tough five-year battle with ovarian cancer, she had an aneurysm last night and is on life support. My heart breaks for her. I just keep thinking that my friends and I are too young to be helping bury each other's parents. My roomie and her family know the Lord and I'm certain He is pouring out His grace and mercy and comfort on them. But this is hard. Loss at Christmastime? Hard. Thinking you are going on a cruise with your spouse on Saturday, but now being with her in ICU on Friday? Hard. The fact that they were going to be moving to another town to retire and live near their only child and their granddaughter in just two weeks? Hard. Mel told me this morning that this was the hardest thing she's ever done, but that God is giving her so much strength. He is faithful. But this is hard.

30 comments:

Beau, Melissa, and Brynne said...

reading this from icu...thanks sister. love you

Taylor said...

I will be earnestly praying for your precious friend and her family.

:: Taylor

ocean mommy said...

We will be praying for this family. What a hard thing to go through anytime, but especially here at Christmas...

Praying for you too as you are in the last few weeks. Hang in there Siesta! You can do this!

blessings
stephanie

Dori said...

Amanda,

Tears are flowing because this is a journey I've walked. I know how hard this is. We walked the same path with my brother about 10 years ago when his 29 year old bride and mother to his 21 month old daughter died from an aneurysm.

I remember walking the hospital corridor and asking God to just give me something to believe in because at that point, after all the pleading and seeing that His will was to heal her by taking her I just couldn't face it.

It was in that moment that I just started singing a song that I had never sung before, had only really heard a few times...

"Lord, I believe in You, I'll always believe in You. Though I can't see You with my eyes, deep in my heart Your presence I find. Lord, I believe in You and I'll keep my trust in You. Let the whole world say what they may
no one can take this joy away
Lord, I believe."

Reading your post today took me back in time 10 years to that moment. I can still remember the fear. I can still remember the questions. I can still remember my God just asking me to simply trust Him and believe.

I'm praying for your friend today! Praying for you, too, as you comfort her.

Blessings,
Dori

Rose said...

Will be praying!!

Holly said...

With tears...praying. With chills, too, not sure why. Just asking the Holy Spirit to intercede for your dear friend and her mom and dad.

Oh Jesus come..

Holly said...

PS Still praying for little baby girl to come on the 17th :0) I'd be in such trouble, though, wouldn't I? It would be fun to have two of your on my b-day.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I love that you updated your profile picture to one of your family. Just lovely.

Life is difficult that way, isn't it? Delivering to you the very best it has to offer (your pregnancy) along with the very worst (your friend's mother). I am glad that you both have your faith to guide you through this time.

-Francesca

debra said...

praying.

The Barfuss Family said...

Praying! I lost my grandma who I was very close to this time several years ago, and yes it's HARD!!!

31 weeks. Girl - that's exciting.

Patty said...

This breaks my heart. My good friend just lost her father yesterday. I am praying for them.

Also, praying for you. I can't believe that you are already 2 months out! She will be here before you know it!

Love,
Patty

Cheri-Beri said...

I am praying for your friend. My mom was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and lung tumor this May. She's in remission now, but has the kind of cancer that likes to come back. WOW did God teach me a lot these past months about letting go. I *thought* I had the "let go and let God" mentality. I wasn't even close. But how He carried me through that very dark time. I know He'll carry your friend to, as well.

Laura said...

Praying for your friend.
May GOD give peace and the strength that only he can.

twinkle said...

It is so hard for the family, but God has prepared a place for this mom and it is ready for her. He has given her His riches in Glory to explore and delight in. I can just hear the angels and the heavenly choir singing..."Let heaven and nature sing!"
Father, be merciful and gracious to this dear mother and whisper "Fear NOT!" into her ear. Hold tightly the hands of those who are walking beside her through this valley of the shadow of death. Grant them a holy cushioning of their self as You selfishly and perfectly bring this mother into Your Arms...finally. She has fought the good fight and she has kept the faith. May You be glorified through this as they surrender control and rest in Your Promises. In Jesus Name. Amen.

bethany said...

I am praying for this family...Why God allows these hard times I will never understand completley but He wants total and complete dependency and boy does He have it.
Amanda...I can't wait to see pics of your little princess! She is going to be here so soon! Our Kensley is getting so big! She is 3months old on the 4th! And my nephew Isaac is 3 months old today! If your little girl does make her arrival on the 12th she will be exactly 5 months younger than Isaac!

Nicole said...

Prayers were said for her. I've been through that myself. Amanda, can I just say that when/if she does pass, please take note of the date. Every month on that date, remember your friend in some way. She will be so blessed with that the first year.

Fran said...

I'm praying Amanda. I'm home alone tonight and have on "Christmas at Union Station" and listening to some of our favorites just BRING IT. That brings me some hope when I just feel the "hard" too. I'm so sorry for your friend and their family.

Praying His strength and presence will completely cover them.

Allison said...

Praying for you and your former roomie!

Big Mama said...

You know I'm praying.

Kelli said...

Praying for their family. We had some dear friends lose their dad during the Christmas holidays and I know that dear friendships (likes yours will be) has helped them every year!

31 weeks - so exciting! I have a friend having her baby girl tomorrow morning and it made me think of you too!

ME said...

I'm sorry to hear about your sweet friend. I'm praying for her and her family. I unfortunately know how tough it is to loose your Mom. I lost mine 12 years ago. I'm so thankful Christ is my rock. I am also praying for you, Amanda. I know it is hard to see a friend in pain.

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Praying for your sweet friend. We are also holding up dear friends who lost their only son - 20 years old - last December. Talk about horrible. He died four days before his birthday and 20 days before Christmas. They have been an icon of grace in trial.

Entirely different subject...love your new profile pic! :)

Marla Taviano said...

Oh, Amanda. I'm so sorry. Praying for Mel and her family. Oh, I can't imagine how much this hurts.

Abby said...

wow...praying for this sweet family...
one of my best friends unexpectedly lost her dad the day after christmas when we were in high school...
i never will understand these kind of hard things..

jennyhope said...

Oh that breaks my heart. I am going to pray for them as I fall asleep. Also, how is your other friend that we were praying for?

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

Praying, Amanda.

barbara head said...

Oh, I am praying for peace for this precious family. I know how very hard it is to lose someone at Christmas time. I lost my sweet daddy 42 years ago at Christmas and I lost my precious mama 12 years ago at Christmas. Now we have found out my husband's brother is not doing well at all and it is Christmas time again. But God is good and will give that sweet family the peace that passes all understanding.

Lynn said...

Wow - that is hard. I will be praying for your friend. I wanted to say Dec. 12th is also the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. And while Catholics don't pray TO Mary we do ask for her prayers for us. We believe she is alive in Christ and can interceded face to face in front of His throne. (And what good Jewish boy is going to say NO to his mama?) So - I ask the Mother of Jesus to intercede for your sweet friend as she says good bye to her mother.

creative gal said...

Praying for your friend and their family.

katiegfromtennessee said...

31 weeks is a milestone, Little Momma:) I am so very happy for you, little siesta will be here soon:)...Oh Amanda, I don't know what to say, I know that God is able to carry us through the very hard times. It seems that they come to us all. It is hard, but then He becomes our ability to make it through the day, like your mom says, one day at a time (or half a day). There is so much about life to be joyous about, and there is opportunity to sink into despair, so what are we to choose? How are we to cope? By completely living off of Him...the only way...

Love in CHRIST,

katiegfromtennessee
Heb. 11:6