Friday, January 11, 2008

Lovely Morning at the Gym

This morning I went to the gym for my third personal training session. Let me just tell you, I did not feel like going today. I had already been up there four times since Monday. Also? Friday is supposed to be date day with the Hubs. I really just wanted to get dolled up and be treated to a nice lunch and maybe some shopping at Northpark or a stop at JD's Chippery. Instead, I wore something really unflattering from Academy Sports & Outdoors and I went to have my tush professionally kicked. Glory.

My trainer is really into martial arts and he likes to talk about it. A lot. And about all the guys he trains and about all the injuries he has from it. Okay! Smile and nod. Concentrate on not falling out. It seems like most of the conversation has been one-way. I'm not sure he's asked about my life yet, except whether I was ever a cheerleader or a dancer (because that would mean I would be more advanced with my high kicks). No, I wasn't. But I can spike a volleyball, mister! Turns out, so can he.

So I guess today I felt a little too comfortable sharing some things about my life that were not going to interest him in any way, shape, or form. Things that might, in fact, horrify this man who was not really in a stage of life that led him to relate to a MOP. I might have lost some propriety when I was on the floor doing ab work. My legs were stretched out in front of me, hovering 3 inches off the floor. Three inches? That is not very much. I was shaking, holding my breath, contracting my abs, and just trying not to collapse or pass out while he slowly counted down, "Five, four, three, two, one." So I might have forgotten myself and yelled out, I feel like I'm in labor!

Okay, so what would that exercise remind you of? Is it not labor? Pushing, to be more exact? He was taken aback. Just a bit. I was really amused with myself, but as the hours have passed I've become a little embarrassed. I had just told him minutes before that they really should have some female personal trainers in the house. He was reluctant to agree with me, but I bet he can see the merit in it now!

(Q&A coming soon. But Michelle, a MOP is a mom of preschoolers.)

48 comments:

Toknowhim said...

You made me smile. I have thought about the personal trainer thing and always wondered how it might be... Thanks for the glimpse. I think your trainer might fire me because I would definitely bore him to tears with my stories... Blessings Amanda...

CrownLaidDown said...

OK, don't kill me! But I wouldn't recommend any of Uncle Wayne's White Winter Chili before trying that exercise (or even with in the 36 hours before trying it). hee hee! Sorry, I couldn't resist! But three inches? That rocks in my book! Go A!

jamie b said...

hahaha Don't be embarrassed! I, personally, think it's hilarious. Hopefully you just showed him what a tough woman you are! :) (and all the women out there who have pushed a baby into this world!)

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

Good for you! I would have said the same thing, well maybe not because I would have already passed out from overworking myself!! I've got to do better about that aweful thing called exercise.

Have a very blessed weekend!
stephanie

Amazing Racer said...

Silly trainer boys/men. They have no idea...

Abby said...

i love that! you make me laugh so much...yeah i think i'd like a girl
better..

unless he was cute and i was single ;) ...in which case i maybe wouldn't want to meet him until AFTER the training sessions had kicked my butt into shape :)

Beth said...

I hate to have to tell Karate Kid that his mom pushed, too. And I'm betting he was a pain.

Mom

Ann said...

Oh, that is tooooo funny! My gym (Lifetime in FM) has female trainers and it is nice- although they are all young and most are single! It is nice to know that maybe someday they will be able to relate to "my flabby white thighs and sagging abs".

The Barfuss Family said...

That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. And yes, I agree - female trainers are a must. Not that I've been through labor yet, but I can see your point! Best part is, you know he shared that with at least 3 other people today. ha ha

Darlene R. said...

Isn't it so hard to make yourself go to the gym? I went four times this week too, so I feel your pain, sister! I think that I would rather have a male trainer because we have a female one at our gym and quite frankly, she's scary!

Did you get your date day after the gym?

Jackie said...

hahaha- that is great!! I am friends with the trainers at my gym (b/c I practically live there) and the stories they tell me about some of the stuff they hear from their "trainees" are HILLARIOUS!! I bet you'll keep him talking about himself from now on! Oh dear- :) Oh well... he needs to know what we go through!:)

Breathing His Joy said...

Oh I just laughed out loud! I remember the time I had a trainer for a while and it was a male and he talked about the weirdest stuff ... not exactly the motivation a gal is looking for! Amanda - I needed a nice laugh after trying to register for baby stuff... talk about OVERWHELMING! So a gracious thank you for the smile :)

Big Mama said...

All I'm saying is they should have given you an epidural. Three inches off the floor is some kind of painful.

Lisa Pierre said...

You are FUNNY, dear girl! And a wonderful communicator....Love it and you.

The Preacher's Wife said...

i totally agree there ought to be girl personal trainers for girls..

and speaking of labor, can i just go ahead and say i've never understood why a man would want to be a gyno?

Faith @ The Great Adventure said...

LOL. That is too cute! My hubby is my personal trainer--I love it! The man definitely knows his way around a gym (while I am far more comfortable in a dance studio and spent the first 27 years of my life studiously avoiding gyms!).

Lauren said...

That is hilarious! And I do not think it's that embarrassing. It would have been more embarrassing if you had publicly thrown up. :)

Stephanie said...

Too funny!

zoom said...

One year, I too, received a Personal Trainer as a Christmas gift. It was my own Personal Torturer. My legs began to sympathetically quiver with you on the 3 inch leg thing.

You have Karate Kid, I had Mr. Movie Man who wanted to write for Hollywood. He would "run" an idea by me while I was in a compromised position on the torture devices.

Bless his heart. I am sure he took the grimace on my face and my "huh uh's" as affirmation that his ideas were swell.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

I am beyond impressed by those three inches. Great job!

Deborah said...

Hahaha! One of my dearest friends is opening a personal training studio here and I have TRIED to get him to understand that it just doesn't quite work the same for women as opposed to men! Thanks for helping to prove my point!

~Deborah :)

jen said...

Lol! Poor guy doesn't know what he's in for. I have always hated that excercise and yes, it's EXACTLY like labor! Props to you for the 3 inches Sistah! :)

life through my lens... said...

That is soooo funny! You are a much braver woman than I am. That guy would definitely intimidate me enough to be back to sitting on my rear in front of the computer.

I am also laughing at darlene r. about the scary female trainer. I have the image in my brain! Oh my word!

Gayle said...

ROFLOL!! *That* is too funny...you are so right, they do need female trainers. Hopefully this will prod them in the right direction. :)
Just wanted to de-lurk. I read and look forward to all of your posts, but I rarely comment since I have you on Bloglines. :(
Shame on me because everyone loves all the comment-love one can get, right?

Bev Brandon said...

Three inches off the floor...if I am on the floor, I'm just trying to pick up everything that's down there so I don't have to make a trip back down again. Three inches is impressive to seasoned work-out victims like me. Your commerce with your trainer is hilarious! You have such a way with words, daily living, that is hysterical. A book in the making about where we really live every day.

Kelly said...

OK, ohmyword that cracked me up!!!

I cannot even imagine having a male trainer, other than my husband, that is. He's already used to me telling him way more than he wants to know, and could handle it better than your typical trainer.

I would have been thinking the same thing- pain, breathing and counting are all delivery flashback triggers- and how could you be expected to hold those thoughts in? Don't be embarrassed... you are making it easier for the women who follow in your footsteps. Oh, I just thought of something. Maybe he talks about himself so much so women clients can't talk and say things that embarrass him:-)

Three Fold Cord said...

You know what I hate the most?? When out of nowhere while I am doing dishes or bending down for the hundreth time to p/up the kids toys I hear my trainer in my head. She is great but she really likes to have us feel the burn and I sure feel it-for like the next three days!!!!! You are not alone in training world-Love ya

Ang baylis said...

You are hilarious, Amanda! Seriously, three inches! Good job! I bet you are a great volleyball player! I also LOVE the pictures I've seen of Jackson with his soccer jerseys!

I hope you aren't too sore tonight! Isn't it true, no pain, no gain?
Much love,
Angie xoxo

Honea Household said...

You crack me up! But it's all worth it! I work out everyday M-F and I know how it feels to just want to shower and get dressed in normal clothes. I HATE running errands in my workout clothes. But by the time I finish working out and then come home and shower, it's almost lunch. The plank exercise however is a great exercise for you abs. Try doing it on each side to work your obliques. Burn, baby, burn!!!

Honea Household said...

Alright, I re-read your exercise and you weren't doing the plank. I tried the one you were doing and it still burns. I didn't completely get the whole pushing thing when I had the plank exercise in my head. Now I do! :)

Emmy : ) said...

I LOVE it! : ) Reminds me of Labor too! So Funny! Surely that had to make him smile deep down... I bet you'll end up his favorite client!
I start with a personal trainer tomorrow... and it is not going to be pretty! I'll think of your story while I am miserably going through the abs part! It will make me laugh... hopefully help me get through! : )

Kathleen in TX said...

OK, your posts about the gym have been really reminding me how much I need to exercise! After 4 children and natural aging lets say I REALLY need to do that ab workout! Thanks Holly for the chili tip, I'll keep that in mind (hehe!). And 3 inches does rock! I KNOW I couldn't manage that! I bet it DID remind you of labor! I thought that was too funny!

janjanmom said...

He probably prefers to think of you as more "cheer"-y than a baby pusher!! Most gym guys do!!

I'm proud of you for making youself go exercise when you didn't want to. I need some of that willpower!

Phillips Family said...

Pre-children I would have never discussed anything at all involved with having a baby and distinctly remember being mortified when a co-worker went into the gory details of how she knew she was in early labor.

Post-children, such words as "pushing" and "amniotic fluid" flow as easy out of my mouth as "Do you want something to drink?" while company is over.

It is as if a filter was removed along with birthing a baby.

Bugzmommy said...

Good for you at the gym!!!! I am back running at our gym as well and taking strength classes.

I read your post on "Can of Worms". I read your blog frequently and have commented a few times. I have a young son the same age as your son. In fact, he turns TWO in a matter of weeks!!! I cannot believe it. I hope you don't go private and if you do you can add me as a reader...it is nice to read about a fellow mom going through some of the same milestones, etc.!

Blessings!
Val

pinkmommy said...

At my old gym, there was a lady personal trainer. She had 6 kids (2 sets of twins) and THE MOST AWESOME 6 PACK I HAVE EVERY SEEN. Talk about motivation. This was pre-Princess, so I thought...if she can do it, so can I.

Michelle said...

AH! That makes SO much more sense! I sadly and Don't kill me thought it was some sort of domestic referance, and I could not understand why all these wonderful women were okay being called a MOP! Hmmm... well I too have been hitting the trainer and I will not tell you want Dana makes me do! Planks! And the other day I was dying holding a minute and a half plank on one foot while this older gentleman in his 70's held much longer than me with no shaking or maoning... yeah I was embarrased!

Michelle said...

P.S. I guess this means I can;t join the exclusive club either huh... sad...

connorcolesmom said...

Ok that is very funny!
I am considering a personal trainer as well and I am going to have to find a gym with a female trainer :)
YOu have inspired me!
Have a great day!
Kim

Momma of 5 (a.k.a. Amy) said...

You went to the gym, that in and of itself is impressive!

Amanda said...

Hi,
Found your lovely blog through Bigmama. As for your personal trainer, shouldn't they be in it for YOU, not for themselves? If I were paying for a personal trainer, I would want to be the main focus! However, your comment may have scared him off ;) Made me laugh because I would have said the SAME THING!!!!

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

Yes m'am, it is like labor. Perfect description.

MamaCass said...

That really cracks me up. Serves him right for for boasting so much! And kudos to you for the ab work!

Katie said...

Oh Amanda... I think you just covered about 5 reasons why I don't go to the gym. (I like to think that ever since #3, keeping up with them is work-out enough.) However! My 3 year old daughter asked me to do a split yesterday, and, an ex-gymnast, I was so sad to find that not only could I NOT do a split, but I almost got stuck on the floor trying! Not pretty. We had the 911 talk shortly after that. :/

TXSkipper said...

**Note - this comment has nothing to do with this post, but a previous one that I just read; however, I was unsure how your moderating thing works so I simply decided to comment on this most recent one. Make sense?

After finding your blog through a friend's, I became a regular reader. I am the best at procrastination so losing myself in other people's worlds is often enticing. Many people say I am a woman of many words, but I find myself hesitant to comment on other people's blogs. I would love to say I am practicing holding my tongue; but most likely, I simply wonder if anyone else cares. I have a blog of my own (kkskipper.blogspot.com) where I can share whatever I want and others can choose whether they read it or not. Funny how in person I have no trouble sharing my thoughts, but online is a different story. Anyway, I find your blog refreshing and encouraging. I, too, grew up in ministry home. There are pressures and strains that are unique to ministry homes, and it's a wonder some of us turn out normal. At least, I hope I'm more normal than not! Anyway, I am the mother of two little ones (2 1/2 and 11 months) who has the joy of staying home with them. So I find much humor in your sharing as I have walked similar roads...and why your blog titled so intrigued me. Just when my first set of baby bangs grew out, I started a whole new round! They are currently about 2-3 inches long - just enough to stand up on my head - right at my part. Anyway, I just wanted to "introduce" myself so that I am no longer a stranger. I'm not sure why I felt led to write, but I did. Guess I didn't want to be a weird one - I am a people pleaser in that way. Feel free to lurk on my blog if you do that kind of thing! Anyway, thanks for your encouragement and the laughter.

TXSkipper (in Fort Worth)
- and I would be perfectly happy if you didn't post this...it's basically for you!

Tammie said...

Thinking of you, Sweetie!

Love to you ♥
tammie

Shelly said...

Get the woman a female instructor for crying out loud!

Jungle Mom said...

You are hilarious!!! I would love to meet you some day!