A sweet sound has filled our home for the last two days. I'm sure you already know where this is going. I went to aerobics on Thursday night and when I got home Curtis informed me that Jackson had been calling for me the whole time. It was so exciting. Since then, I've been taking in the sweet sound of "mamamamamamama." I don't know how long it will stick around because he used to say "dada" a lot but hasn't much lately.
Even with such sweet sounds, I had one of those days yesterday that left me wondering if I should take a vacation at the mental health center. I hope you can relate. It was as though I had zero coping skills for even the littlest things that went wrong. And I just felt ready to fight. And I think I would have enjoyed it. Last night we went to Jennifer Parnell's wedding. Curtis had Jackson back in the nursery while I sat with Janelle, whose husband and baby girl were with Curtis. I think we were both enjoying being dressed up and having a few minutes of adult time. And then we compared notes and realized we'd had the same kind of day. And we would like to be roommates at the mental health center.
This morning I knew that if I missed my quiet time I wouldn't make it through the day. So I dove desperately into Isaiah 40 - the chapter Curtis is preaching from tonight - and I saw this verse. "He tends his flock like a shepherd: he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." First of all, now fully qualifying as a grown-up as well as being a wife and a mom, it's nice to know that God still sees me as a lamb. When your job is to take care of others, it gives you warm fuzzies to know that someone is still taking care of you like that. But I especially appreciated that he gently leads those who have young. I have fallen so short this year in many ways but God has dealt mercifully with me. He has been so patient and gracious. I'm just soaking in that today, feeling very loved by my God after a day when I felt so unloveable.