Friday, September 05, 2014

Crossing Thresholds

The first two days we had Sailor home, she planted herself on our living room couch and hardly left it. She had decided that would be her home base and she would only venture from it with persuasion. When she did walk around, we noticed she was hesitant to cross thresholds. Getting her to proceed through doorways took us getting down on the floor and calling her name excitedly. We acted like fools, but that is what happens to people when they come into contact with puppies. It's part of their charm.

We have three types of flooring in our downstairs - carpet in our bedroom; laminate wood in our living room, dining room and office; and slate tile in our entryway and kitchen. Sailor hated crossing thresholds so much that she didn't even like to walk from one type of flooring onto the other. She was probably glad when we rolled up all our rugs and put them away to save them from puppy destruction. One less surface change!

It took Sailor about a week to explore the whole downstairs and move through it without hesitation. Now if she needs a change of scenery she leaps from the couch like a deer and runs across the slick surfaces like Scooby Doo. She (almost) owns the downstairs now. We have the upstairs gated off because she's not ready to be trusted there yet, but we've carefully prepared the downstairs so that she can go anywhere and be safe and thrive.

I, too, am a reluctant threshold crosser. I fought tooth and nail for our season with littles at home not to end yet. But whether I liked it or not, the time came to cross the threshold. I have felt the Lord near to me in the last two weeks, as if He were crouching down and calling my name, willing me to walk into the next room. "This room is yours too. Come and see it! Look at the things I have for you in here."

Our whole lives we cross thresholds. We never stop doing it until we cross the last and most important one of them all.* I want to get better at this. I think I will always be the kind of person who has to process big changes deeply, but I want to do it without fear and dread. Hopefully I'm making progress.

God, the Lord, is my strength;

he makes my feet like the deer's;

    he makes me tread on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:19                                        _______________________________________

Reading "Twas the Night Before Kindergarten" with Annabeth before she went to sleep. 

The first day of kindergarten and third grade. 

Here they are walking into school. I shed a couple of quiet tears when we walked out. Then I had breakfast tacos with two of my closest friends who also have kindergartners and we celebrated, mourned, and did everything in between. 

Curtis told Sailor this was the very day for which she was born. She is such a love.

The end of a successful first day! 

*A wonderful book that has recently helped me through loss and  crossing thresholds of unwanted change is A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser. I highly recommend it.


Holly said...

You know, Amanda? I think you are gonna thrive in this new season. Let it wash over you in its gentle way. Process it. And then, I know you will own it and be the beautiful fragrance of Christ wherever He shows you to walk.

I have my own season right now. It's coming to a close. And I am sad...and scared--for there are unknowns and goodbyes involved. But I know the One who calls me (us!) enables us (with the feet of a deer!) so that our ankles will not even turn, as we climb to this next place. Can't wait to share more...and you will most certainly like it!..but for now I have to wait a bit longer. :) Love to you! and know

Brandi said...

I love reading about your pondering. ...
Thank you for sharing!

Karmen said...

This is so beautifully true and honest! I will forward it to my dear friend who is a brand spanking new empty nester. Now THAT’S a threshold I’m going to dread. Thank you for the lovely picture of God on the other side, encouraging us to cross over. To HIM.

Unknown said...

What a poignant, precious post, Amanda. This brought back a flood of memories...process deeply, my dear. You do have the right heart and the right idea!

Bobbie said...

Thanks for sharing your ponderings...You're a very strong lady and we know where your strength comes from! I'm glad you have Sailor, she's going to be great company while the kids are in school and will be ready when they get home!!! We took Carley, our 14 month old Golden, for a walk around Kyle Field tonight! Crazy girl barked like she was gonna tear the old E. King Gill statue to shreds when we walked past him!!! She liked the new much bigger one tho!

Gig'em ... Hope we see you at a game this year!

MEGAN said...

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. said...

Have never posted to you before but have tweeted!!!
I crossed a threshold too! A woman in her 60's should be done crossing thresholds, shouldn't she? She should just sit back and just be content?? Well, our youngest son waited many years to find his one true love but he did and it was well worth his wait.
Scott worked as an electrical lineman out in the Bakken for many years but was home every weekend to help us with farming and ranching. He really never completely left home.
When he and Beth (yes that is her name!) met they decided to start a brand new ranch site so they moved a building on a wooded hillside overlooking a small dam we once stocked with pan fish. They worked for a whole year on getting the house ready. Her parents were here alot as her dad is a carpenter. Tehy live in Mn. Most of the summer Beth and Scott lived on our yard in Scott's fifth wheel camper so most evenings I made supper. I loved those evenings around the supper table. Beth has a career as a physical therapist and is gone for many hours each day so I just always cooked for them.
Finally, the house was ready, the move in complete, and as of tonight the evening suppers around our big old farm kitchen table are over. I feel abit sad as it was always nice hearing about everyone's day around the table but now they are moved out and a new chapter in our lives begins. It is always hard making that first step beyond what you are so accostomed to I know. Now that I am done doing this what is next? I always know that God may take things away from you but not without giving you something more back again. So let's celebrate the excitement of what the something more is gona be???
Those kids of yours are sure cute! It has been fun watching them grow on your mom's blog and yours! Blessings to you!
Betty M

Christian Discernment Moms said...

Enjoy your new season! Praying the transition goes great! Now you have mommy time!

Dionna said...

This is a beautiful post. I am slow to embrace change as well. Stubborn, maybe. :)

This Is The Day said...

Great post! I hope this new season brings you much joy!

Heleadsme16 said...

Kneeling down an saying come and see to the next space was great to think about. Gods been teaching me to stop feeling guilty that I haven't already entered the next place even though the thought has occured a few times. He draws me in at the perfect time and no self condemnation is needed about the timing. Thankyou for this post! said...

P.S. In rereading my post I failed to mention Scott and Beth were married this past June in Mn! It was a beautiful church wedding the kids are both strong Christians. Scott took her from the church in his own carriage and a reg Morgan horse we own!! Sorry for omiting that important fact!!

Unknown said...

I love this post.

Laura said...

Cannot recommend A Grace Disguised highly enough. Glad it found it's way into your hands after this painful seasons of losses you have endured. It is in a category of books that many people do no know about -- if you have suffered any loss but especially traumatic and/or sudden loss, it is a wonderful resource. I have read it several times. The follow up book, A Grace Revealed is also very, very good! Praying for you and your beautiful family and you and Curtis' ministries!

Sarah Damaska said...

I've never read another book like "A Grace Disguised". I could barely make it more than a page without having to stop and digest it. It changed so many things about the way I grieved losing my six month old daughter. Such an amazing book. I also devoured anything by Nancy Guthrie and Joni Erickson Tada's "When God Weeps". Even in the intense pain of living in the fog of grief, there's something so sweet about God's presence ... I miss it sometimes now that a few years have gone by. I clung to the pain, knowing that the memories would fade as the fog lifted... but what I didn't know was the sweetness of hard-fought joy that would replace it. Thanks for such an honest, genuine post.

Talley Family said...

Wonderful book! Praying for you!

j said...

That was a beautiful post. Can't believe I misses it till now. I am excited to see what will unfold in this next season of life and ministry. He has already done a powerful work in your heart that so many can relate to and be encouraged by. So proud of your courage to lean into the change and letGod have His way. I pray that joy and freedom will abound like never before in the next room.