Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Boxing on Sundays

This is a post for my imaginary pastor's wife friends in cyberspace. I don't know your names or faces but I feel like I know you. And you know me. Some days we feel like we've been given the greatest lot in life and other days we want to warn others thinking about entering ministry to run far, far away! Haha. Don't run from God though. Seriously. He is worth anything He has called you to. 

I recently figured out a pattern that happens on many Sunday mornings. Maybe you've experienced this. You get up early to meet with Jesus. You've learned along the way not to sacrifice your own intimacy with Him in order to serve others. Plus, you know how badly you need that time because kids, bad hair days, unexpected freeway closures, people without filters, etc. Then you're washing your hair, blow drying it, straightening it, maybe even putting it in hot rollers for a minute if you like a southern look. 

A conversation starts happening in your head. It sounds like your voice and you're talking to someone. Maybe several someones. It isn't how you normally speak to people. It sounds defensive and self-protective. A little argumentative. You try to shake it off but in a few minutes you're having imaginary conversations again. Your blood pressure is on the rise and the expression on your face while you put on your makeup is not cute. You wipe the corner of your eye because you got a little misty feeling sorry for yourself. 

Hold up.

You realize it might be helpful to turn on some worship music, so you try that. But your good-for-nothing, cracked, already outdated one-year-old phone decides it doesn't want to play any music. Gah! 

What is happening? 

While you were getting ready for church, the enemy derailed you into training for a boxing match. He was in your ear coaching you, motivating you to knock the crap out of that punching bag. Practice now so when the moment comes, you'll know exactly what to say. You always regret holding your tongue, don't you? Be ready! Be on your toes! 

This is so tragic. Your pure-hearted devotion to Christ got twisted into something aggressive and angry. You were really looking forward to worshipping with your church family. You had it in your heart to encourage a few sisters who had a difficult week. You had asked God to guide your prayers for people and make them effective. And then this! Is this what's really in your heart? Should you even be in ministry? 

Girl, you've been in a battle. Someone does need knocking out and it's the Accuser who's been bad-mouthing your brethren. I pray God will help you and me recognize these Sunday morning attacks and teach us how not to play along with them. Worship music helps so much! Have you heard it said that worship is warfare? I love that thought. Vanquish him with your loud, glorious voice praising your God! My voice doesn't sound glorious to me, but I believe it sounds good to Him. Put on the armor of God according to Ephesians 6 as soon as you wake up. It would be better to be a couple minutes late than to walk on the battlefield without it.  

When I think about Sunday mornings in my parents' house, I can hear my mom's music blasting and I can see her scurrying through the house with at least one arm lifted in the air. All this in a fog of hairspray, of course. She looked pretty in her Sunday clothes, but she was waging war. I love it. 

Be blessed, my friend! 


Mary said...

What a great description!!

Last week I was a few hours prior to speaking to a group of kindergarten parents in China about parenting. Normally I love these types of talks but I was almost overcome with dread and distaste. Each time my phone dinged I hoped it was the director cancelling.

Unable to access the iCloud on my phone, I played the same five or six previously downloaded songs over and over. I knew it had to be an attack.

I spent 2+ hours with the ex-pat sister who runs the school and then 2.5 hours with the parents. It was very good and I know God was using me.

Thank you for reminding me to use these experiences to encourage others.
Mary in Tennessee

Samantha said...

Heavens, yes! I get that worship music going as fast as my fingers can get to Spotify. It's usually Travis too. My problem is that often church ends up feeling like a battlefield and my Joy gets sucked away there instead. Sigh...

Sarah said...

Yes. Definitely. Not a PW but know several. God bless you.

Charlotte said...

I am a young PW in our first year of my husbands first full time pastorate and we have 2 tiny children (3 and 10m) and Sunday is by far the MOST difficult day of the week. This post is like verbatim what goes on in my head!! Needed to read this and know I'm not alone and be encouraged to fight that battle! Thank you thank you thank you!!

Heather W said...

Such a good word and even though I'm not a pastors wife it happens daily! I've been praying for Gods armor everyday to be prepared for battle...not if, when!! Thank you for sharing!

amybhill said...

Hey Amanada- I read this when you posted it but had to come back today and comment bc God literally just pulled me out of one of these spirals. I'm not a pastors wife, but I am in ministry. I thought of this post and just called the enemy out in Jesus name. It stopped immediately. Calm waters. So crazy. Thank you for putting words to this.

Blessing of Adoption welcomes you said...

Thank you for being so transparent and real. You verbalize what a lot of us feel but can't quite find the words to communicate or maybe don't even realize. The self talk (along with the enemies attacks) become so routine, we begin to think it is just normal. Pretty soon, we find ourselves so isolated from others or so bent out of shape all of the time and don't know how to break free from it. Totally changing the subject :) While you were writing your blog post about Boxing on Sundays, I was writing one about 'pat answer christianity'...another one of those topics that we can easily get caught up in... http://blessingofadoption.blogspot.com/2017/04/pat-answer-christianity.html

Thank you again for your transparency and for sharing!!

Unknown said...

so good

Unknown said...

so good