Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Fantasy Land

Can I boast in the Lord for a minute? He has been giving me lots of joy in my household tasks the last few days. Whoever has been praying that for me, thank you! It has made such a difference. With the exception of one day, my house has been clean for a week!

Tonight I was about to put The Mister to bed when I saw that our glass dining room table had crumbs all over it from dinner. (Before you call me June Cleaver - it was Chick-fil-a.) I love my glass table from Bombay Company that I begged and pleaded with Curtis to buy me while we were engaged. I'm sure I swore that I would use it forever and ever amen. Not having any money to our names back then, we bought the floor model. "Floor model" means that the chairs all had missing or loose screws and 5 years later are falling apart. At least its pretty. But there is nothing that irks me more than seeing that lovely glass surface covered with crumbs, streaks, fingerprints and water rings from our glasses. I sweetly commissioned Curtis to clean off the table while I put Jackson to sleep.

When I emerged from the nursery, the table was still a mess. I really wanted to light the candle in the center of the table and I could never do that while french fry residue was desecrating it. I chose to concentrate on how clean and pleasant the rest of the house was and not bring up the table again. He would get to it in his own time. (Wow, I did it right for once!)

A little while later I saw that Hubs was concentrating very hard on something in front of the computer and scribbling in a notebook. I was suddenly moved, thinking he must be preparing his Sunday school lesson or getting ready for the Greek class he's taking this fall. I am so blessed to have this godly husband, I thought. I grabbed a paper towel and some Windex and went to work on the table. If he was working that hard, I could certainly do this one chore for him.

A few minutes ago he rose from the couch with a manly grunt. He opened his notebook to show me page upon page of research he had just done. It was neatly organized in his notebook, line by line. Fantasy football rankings, babe! By position! Here I have my quarterbacks, wide receivers, tight ends, kickers, defenses... Cause I'm gonna win again this year, babe!

I know I'm not alone in this. Fantasy football wives, the LORD bless us and keep us; the LORD make His face to shine upon us and be gracious to us; the LORD turn His face toward us and give us peace. Amen.

40 comments:

Jackie said...

Oh yes...the fantasy sports. Each new season it seems to bring about some sort of "discussion" as to why men feel the need to do this. Each time I am preached to and then left as confused as before. Boys and thier games- not sure I'll ever get it. But at least I have learned to live with it...otherwise we'd have a ROUGH marriage. Take care...and hang in there...there are many of us out there rolling our eyes with you.

Suzi said...

Oh how funny! You should go throw some crumbs back on the table;)

lorisue said...

I am laughing so loud that I am hoping I don't wake my sweet Emma Kate up in the next room. Must leave now because as much I like your blog I need my baby to stay asleep!

Etta said...

I had a lovely glass table that I adored--until my first child grew out of the high chair. That think quickly found a new home. Wood doesn't show fingerprints quite so badly.

Liz said...

That's too funny!

I am a fantasy Football wife, or widow (whatever, same difference). :) But I still love my hubby like crazy anyway!

Lindsee said...

That is just stinking HILARIOUS.

I really don't understand the obsession!

Lindsee

Brittani's Holding Little Hands said...

This post cracked me up. Sarah (In the Midst of it) is one of my "real life" closest friends and she got me hooked on this crazy blog world. My husband is the Sr. High Pastor at Fellowship Church in Grapevine and I also have a son a little older than your Jackson, so I find lots of familiarity in your posts. Thanks for being one of the Christian mommy bloggers who inspired me to jon in the fun!

PS- My friend Keri introduced me to your sweet Sunni today at the pool. I can see why you love her so much! I know you were sad she moved, but we are glad to have her in our neck of the woods:)

jennyhope said...

I am cracking up so hard. This is so familiar except for the clean house part. My guy knows so much about football that I think he needs to go help recruit at Auburn and at least get paid for his research! you are inspiring me to clean tonight!

Big Mama said...

Word.

willblogforshoes said...

Funny you should mention that... I was almost tricked into driving one and a half hours to visit friends "because you said you wanted to see our friends more"... turns out, it was for the Fantasy football draft. The boys had decided to meet in order to conduct the draft in person (for efficiency, he said).

And, I almost fell for it.

Angie said...

Oh sister! I could've written this myself. I'm just cringing that fantasy baseball and football will soon be overlapping. I, too, have peered over my husband's shoulder wondering which class he's preparing for or sermon he's researching, only to see endless names and stats I don't understand. I tell him I don't understand his imaginary game and he says he doesn't understand why I communicate with imaginary people on the computer. Hmm. Touche!

Teri said...

Just wait until Jackson can join him...I am having to deal with TWO "men" with teams this year. I do not get it, but when I hear the guys strategizing it does make me smile. There are MANY things I have in common with my sons, but nothing beats seeing my boys with their Daddy doing something I have no interest in whatsoever.

Amy said...

Amen. My own hubs will be at his league's fantasy football draft this weekend.

~Amy7634

Profbaugh said...

Oh praise the LORD!! There is one thing my hubby isn't into--Fantasy sports.

Had a good laugh though reading your post, AJ!! I do think I'd have thrown some crumbs back on the table or maybe on my hubby (lol)! Am I bad or what? Better go read some scripture (tee hee).

~Cheryl

Amy said...

AMEN.

And I think you still did right. :D

My Dear Family said...

Hopefully your hubby will only do football. Mine this year got invited to do fantasy baseball of which he knows little about and now with the upcoming of football he is doing fantasy football and college pickem. I tried to join the pickem, because we all know college football rules, but dear hubby said no because men don't want to be beaten by a girl. Oh well so much for husband/wife bonding. At least he has a laptop and can be in the same room with us.

Funny side note - when the fantasy baseball draft was suppose to happen my hubby forgot. We had gone to a restaurant to have dinner and ran into a wife of another fantasy baseballer and asked where her hubby was. She said he was home getting ready for the draft. Needless to say we had to leave the restaurant so he could go home and draft. I had to cook dinner.

Fran said...

Yes...here we go....boys will be boys...some things never change.

Lauren said...

Ah! I have the exact same experience, except the chore is washing the dishes, and the distraction is the Xbox!
Oh, Xbox, you bain of my existence.

Sharon said...

Girl take a deeeep breath.
And then run for your prayer closet before you open your mouth.
Just think you cleaned off the table for Jesus--yes--for Jesus.
Heaven help us!
Mine in not into the football but hunting. And heaven help us that will be starting soon.

Beau, Melissa, & Brynne said...

ah the fantasy obsession! Did he mention how much money it costs? hehe. Boys and their toys

Kate said...

Thanks for the great laugh this morning! I have sadly lost my husband to FF too! I also have three sons and they have spent hours of time planning this season. I don't understand it...but I guess they don't understand why I have to have the same pair of shoes in different colors! :o)

Toknowhim said...

My hubby has been in a FF league for 9 years... Of those 9 he has won the "Super Bowl" 4 times, which he never lets anyone forget. We moved to another state, and this year his league made a rule that everyone has to be present for the FF draft (last year he was on the phone for about 4 hours). So, I told him maybe that was a sign that it is time for him to give up the league... Oh no, he used up his Credit Card points to buy a one day airplane ticket to Florida so he can attend the draft.

That's my hubby, and after 13 years together that is one thing I love about him (sometimes :)

Abby said...

amen. i'm not even married, but watching my brother and his friends go through that year after year is just hilarious. and i love how they talk it up until they lose and then it's all about "well next year when i 'blahblahblah'"

but i guess they have their fantasy games, and we have siesta land :)

Vietnam Baby Girl Smith said...

How hilarious! My husband and I had "intense communication" concerning this very topic on the way home from work yesterday. His group of fantasy buddies planned to have their "draft" on Labor Day. My very strong opionion is that Holidays are for family. All of these guys have family...am I the only wife that thinks another day would be appropriate? Anyhow, we got over it and he is going to the draft on Labor Day. I asked that he make a strong suggestion that they pick another day next year.

kittyhox said...

Oh, the joy of a clean house. There are very few things that make me feel as good about myself.

I'd love to get into FF but it is pretty time consuming, from what I've observed. Maybe next year.

Way to go just sucking it up and wiping down that table yourself. It was the right thing to do.

So you're a FF widow now. At least it isn't video games. (Ugh - I can't stand when grown men are obsessed with video games and play with their friends all the time.) Or worse, like my dad, GOLF.

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

I feel you on that one!

Anonymous said...

oh Amen sister Amen.....

Anonymous said...

Amen and Amen.

Sarah, TN

Lois E. Lane said...

Amen, indeed! How do husbands have the ability to make you giggle and glare at the same time? An amazing talent. Let the fantasty football games begin :)

Allison said...

Lord have mercy on your soul. Thankfully my hubby could care less about the fantasy stuff, but the real deal is where our problems arise. Bless you Amanda...you are in my thoughts and prayers!

connorcolesmom said...

That is hillarious!
I think I would have handed him the windex bottle and paper towel with a loud - humpf!!
Love that your house has been clean you should see my playroom. We have a big tent up with pillows and sheets everywhere. I just turn my face as I walk on by. At least the rest of the house looks OK - sort of haha!
Blessings,
Kim

BigMomma said...

Thanks for the prayer! I echo it to you~ my DH is in 3 leagues. I love football but hate this time of year!

The 5 Powell's said...

I died laughing - I'm about to pop with baby #3 any day now and my sweet husband informed me 2 days ago that one of his Fantasy Football drafts is this Thursday night after our community group meeting...at 9:30...and they are having a party while they draft at a friends house. Leaving me with 2 overly tired kids to put to bed by overly tired, emotional and HUGE self! Then his 2nd team draft is 3 days before my due date...same thing - at a party at a friend's house! Ha! I love him!

Heath: Husband of a Bloger and Player of Fantasy Football said...

Preface:
Amanda, I loved your story. Janelle directed me to read your post…she definitely feels your pain.

After reading the other comments of the “football widows”, I thought maybe I would respond not just to your story, but to perhaps share some insight from the biggest fantasy football nerd to ever play the game, to those wives and mothers who can’t understand their “boy’s” consuming need for sport. Since I’m not part of the “bloging world”, I hope I’m following all the right etiquette for posting.

My Thoughts:
As Commissioner of The Armchair Fantasy Football League, in which your husband "Ghostrider" is the defending champ, it makes me proud to see the mangers of my league taking such pride in their pre-draft preparations.

It is no doubt that Curtis was able to bring home last year's title because of the understanding and support he got at home last season, just as I did the year before (insert sarcasm).

We (men) may not spend endless hours detailing the nuances of our day to have strangers to tell us what they feel about our stories (you blogers are a special breed; my wife especially).

Fantasy football gives us (men) a fleeting chance each year to satisfy our need for competition and strategy, our need to fight and conquer, and our need to win and just be men in the company of other men, whether in person or across town, without our man spirit demoralized by pink fluffy stuff (I love my Ella, but I feel like I live in a cotton-candy land).

We get to go head-to-head each week against our friends and take every opportunity to make disparaging remarks concerning their matriarchal lineage and their inabilities to defeat you, and no one gets their feelings hurt. We test ourselves to see if we are smarter than the “experts” at Yahoo, Sports Illustrated, and ESPN, buy benching a starter in favor of a waiver-wire-wanna-be, just to because he is playing Cleveland. We test our, albeit trivial, knowledge to see if the wide receiver we took in the 11th round will have a break-out season, and you are the only one who predicted it (Vincent Jackson WR-SD). And to see if this is the year Julius Jones (RB-DAL) finally becomes the featured back he showed flashes of his rookie year, now that Bill Parcels is gone.

We connect in a world, call it fantasy if you will, where we can talk for hours to each other about a subject that the mere mention of in front of our wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, or female friends and cousins, is sure to grant a deep sigh followed by a prolonged rolling of the eyes. Probably much the same as my reaction to the click, click, clicking, I hear whilst I'm trying to watch a movie with my wife and she’s posting a comment on MommyBloggersUnite...I digress.

Ultimately, while watching football, basketball, baseball, (and golf when desperate), we men can sit in a room and hurl insults and sarcasm at each other all day. But thru the course of a game in those moments of victory or defeat, whether in the same room or across the world we can share a myriad of common feelings and thoughts that bond us without even saying a word. Just knowing that every Thanksgiving, my father, whom we seldom see on holidays, is watching the Cowboys just as I am, and without even talking, we are sharing the same experience miles away. And that ladies is real.

Patty said...

I laughed my head off with this post!! I am a sports fan, well I really love football and college football is my favorite. I knew as I was reading your post what you were going to say at the end. It's that time of year!! LOL!!

I watched this show on Food network (can't remember the name) and it had 4 wives from Chicago and they were being sent to this college to a cooking class to learn how to cook tailgating food for their husbands who are avid fans of da Bears!! They disliked football but they wanted to be involved in some way with football and it was great! I was thrown at the end when he had them grill pineapple with a special glaze and topped with nuts and coconut. This didn't seem like a dish their husbands would like. One of the wives said they got married in Vegas and her husband asked if he could wear his Bears tie and he did and then he made her put on a Bears jersey along with him and everywhere they went he took pictures of them in their jerseys. Is that crazy or what?! I agree with your prayer at the end. :o)

Teri said...

I just have to tell you- I've won the championship! I would hide the magazines from my husband so I could study the player's stats for draft day.

And now, we do it as a family. It is a great math lesson :)

Maybe my husband could be a football widower.

Anonymous said...

The comment from Patty made me think of a funny story at our house. My husband is a HUGE baseball fan, but could care less about football, so we hardly ever watch it (except for the Super Bowl). There are times I think back to the good times I had watching football with my dad on Sundays...Anyway...My daughter has become a huge football fan (because of her boyfriend) and last year she and I were watching a football game together in the living room. When I walked into the kitchen, my husband was standing there watching a cooking show!! I said, "What is wrong with this picture!" I guess we have a strange family. :-)

Kathleen in TX said...

My husband just watches football on tv (among other sports). It gives me a chance to read (if the kids are asleep). He loves to tell everyone that our daughter was born before Monday Night Football and they watched it together (he even remembers what teams played).
yeah!! on the clean house! I always feel like I've really accomplished a great feat when my house is clean...for the 5-15 minutes that lasts!

kelly said...

Oh my..can I relate. My husband left me sick lying in the bed (pregnant and heaving) because he had to run an important business errand. He returned with a little boy smile..and his new T-shirt proclaiming himself as defending champ of his fantasy league. He has been trying it on for three days laughing at the reaction he'll get. Lord help me.

Crista Henderson said...

Amanda,
If it makes you fell any better My husband is in 2 Fantasy Football leagues because you know 1 is not enough. The blessing is that we don't have children yet because if we did i might cry myself to sleep having to hear about what wide receiver is going to get the most points. You know i used to enjoy watching footbal until i got married and this little thing called Fantasy Football came into my life.