A Little Girl's Closet

There is a closet in my house - in MY house - filled with tiny pink things. Pink dresses, pink footie pajamas, pink headbands, pink bows, pink socks, pink shoes, and pink hats. Someone pinch me.

I remember going over to Sunni's house three years ago and seeing Ava's closet for the first time. I think maybe I was taking some lunch over there because Sunni was on bedrest for a while before she was due. I got to go in Ava's cute pink and green room and see her closet filled and artfully organized with every cute pink frock imaginable. My heart filled with joy and possibly a tad bit of jealousy simultaneously. Oh, how I would love to have a closet filled with tiny, pink, frilly things! But eventually I trained my mind not to go there. (Do I need to stop right now and talk about how much I love having a boy? And even dressing one? I'm just going to assume y'all know and carry on with this post.)

Over the last few months we've accumulated so many sweet things from friends and family and of course from my own shopping efforts. I've been storing it all in the most random places. Today while Jackson was at MDO I went through the house and collected it all. Then I went to work (the best work ever) filling and artfully organizing Baby Girl's closet. My heart was and is so happy.

Tomorrow her new crib, glider and ottoman are going to be delivered. So tonight Curtis and I had the task of finishing cleaning out the nursery, which has been in a state of chaos since last Saturday afternoon. On that day I just sat in a heap of Jackson's stuff and bawled my eyes out. I pretended to be crying because I was mad at my husband, but in reality I was crying because this was goodbye to Baby and even Toddler Jackson. Now Jackson's crib has been dismantled, and the old (very cheap and falling apart) glider and broken ottoman have been taken out. Drawers have been cleared, picture frames boxed up, boyish wall hangings put away, and old bulletin board pictures removed to make room for new ones. I put the crib bedding in a big cardboard box along with Jackson's big blue teddy bear. The only thing I haven't done yet is vacuum the floor. Vacuuming gets my contractions going like crazy and I thought it best to wait til morning unless I want to be awake all night.

The room is a blank canvas again, as it was last spring when we moved into this house. At the time I thought Jackson would only be in there for a few months. I didn't really get emotionally attached to him being in those four walls. Of course, I have spent nearly three years looking at all of the decorations and things, so those are a different story. I will miss seeing the pillow my friend Bonny made for Jackson, and the stork figurine with the tiny picture frame hanging from its mouth. I'll wish I could fold that same blue satin and chenille blanket from Lisa Weir over the crib rail to hide the bite marks that exposed the bare wood. I've loved that blanket. I'll miss the simple joy I got from seeing the blue and yellow striped bedskirt fan out from under the crib.

What's keeping me from absolutely losing it again is that Jackson's new room is absolutely perfect. I just love snuggling next to him on his twin bed and reading to him. I love going in at night and finding that he's rooted all the way under the covers and his head is nowhere to be seen. It's still weird not to go in the nursery and peek at him before heading off to bed, but in just a month I'll have another baby to check on in there. My nighttime routine will consist of peeking in TWO different rooms. My kids' rooms. Wow.