Thursday, January 08, 2009

A Little Girl's Closet

There is a closet in my house - in MY house - filled with tiny pink things. Pink dresses, pink footie pajamas, pink headbands, pink bows, pink socks, pink shoes, and pink hats. Someone pinch me.

I remember going over to Sunni's house three years ago and seeing Ava's closet for the first time. I think maybe I was taking some lunch over there because Sunni was on bedrest for a while before she was due. I got to go in Ava's cute pink and green room and see her closet filled and artfully organized with every cute pink frock imaginable. My heart filled with joy and possibly a tad bit of jealousy simultaneously. Oh, how I would love to have a closet filled with tiny, pink, frilly things! But eventually I trained my mind not to go there. (Do I need to stop right now and talk about how much I love having a boy? And even dressing one? I'm just going to assume y'all know and carry on with this post.)

Over the last few months we've accumulated so many sweet things from friends and family and of course from my own shopping efforts. I've been storing it all in the most random places. Today while Jackson was at MDO I went through the house and collected it all. Then I went to work (the best work ever) filling and artfully organizing Baby Girl's closet. My heart was and is so happy.

Tomorrow her new crib, glider and ottoman are going to be delivered. So tonight Curtis and I had the task of finishing cleaning out the nursery, which has been in a state of chaos since last Saturday afternoon. On that day I just sat in a heap of Jackson's stuff and bawled my eyes out. I pretended to be crying because I was mad at my husband, but in reality I was crying because this was goodbye to Baby and even Toddler Jackson. Now Jackson's crib has been dismantled, and the old (very cheap and falling apart) glider and broken ottoman have been taken out. Drawers have been cleared, picture frames boxed up, boyish wall hangings put away, and old bulletin board pictures removed to make room for new ones. I put the crib bedding in a big cardboard box along with Jackson's big blue teddy bear. The only thing I haven't done yet is vacuum the floor. Vacuuming gets my contractions going like crazy and I thought it best to wait til morning unless I want to be awake all night.

The room is a blank canvas again, as it was last spring when we moved into this house. At the time I thought Jackson would only be in there for a few months. I didn't really get emotionally attached to him being in those four walls. Of course, I have spent nearly three years looking at all of the decorations and things, so those are a different story. I will miss seeing the pillow my friend Bonny made for Jackson, and the stork figurine with the tiny picture frame hanging from its mouth. I'll wish I could fold that same blue satin and chenille blanket from Lisa Weir over the crib rail to hide the bite marks that exposed the bare wood. I've loved that blanket. I'll miss the simple joy I got from seeing the blue and yellow striped bedskirt fan out from under the crib.

What's keeping me from absolutely losing it again is that Jackson's new room is absolutely perfect. I just love snuggling next to him on his twin bed and reading to him. I love going in at night and finding that he's rooted all the way under the covers and his head is nowhere to be seen. It's still weird not to go in the nursery and peek at him before heading off to bed, but in just a month I'll have another baby to check on in there. My nighttime routine will consist of peeking in TWO different rooms. My kids' rooms. Wow.


Holly said...

You know what my Tabor told me just yesterday? There was a front coming in with a giant dark cloud, but the sun was shining. He said, "Mom, the dark cloud is trying to come in, but the light is bigger." This is from a five year old. I think your Jackson is going to have QUITE a wonderful perspective, too. I cannot wait to hear what he will say.

I guess I'm just saying, it is a beautiful growth. And I bet your Mom and Dad would say the same for you girls.

I am anticipating your canvas being so very pink!

Kelli said...

Wow I had such a mix of emotions reading your post! What a wonderful time in your life you are about to enter, and you have such a positive attitude about having a second baby that I find absolutely refreshing! I can't wait to see her sweet face!

And on a side note about closets, every time I take Caroline into her closet to pick out what she is going to wear for the day, she touches her things and makes the most precious ooohs and ahhhs. Her daddy says he is already hurting from the shopping he knows is ahead! :)

Lindsee Lou said...

I am so excited for you, Amanda. It is coming so soon! And I love that this time it is going to be all things pink. You are going to be such a good Mommy to your girl AND your boy because of your sweet heart.

I am praying for you (and your little family), for real, in this last month. I hope it is as enjoyable as it can be!

jennyhope said...

Oh I feel you. I hope you were able to get the pink twall shirt and pink pants I tried to send home with your mom in New Orleans. If not then maybe someone there could put them to use.

I see why Mary pondered things in her heart. Time is really going by so fast. I can't wait to hear that sweet baby girls name!!!

Missy said...

So much emotion, so much excitement! I must say the description of that closet made me soooo giddy! :)

Deidre said...

When you're expecting your second child, the changes are exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Your oldest 'grows up' a little before your eyes naturally making room for baby, but your heart hurts just a little wanting it all to stop.

I'm so excited for you to have pink in your house. That new little girl is going to change your family forever and I cannot wait to hear all about it.

Immeasurably More Mama said...

I know putting away Jackson's nursery decor was emotional for you. I'm sure I will be very nostalgic on the day I have to pack away all of my little guy's things...and I'm guessing many tears will be shed, too.

Enjoy every moment with your soon-to-be newborn baby girl. They go by so quickly, don't they?

Rita Loca said...

I enjoyed reliving the experience of preparing for a new little one. So exciting.

The Writer Chic said...

What a sweet post.

Sarah said...

I'm very sentimental about those kinds of things too. Isn't it fun to say "the kids." I remember just giggling when we had to start saying the girls....then our boy didn't arrive until 6 years later and we were VERY used to saying the girls. Many times when he was a baby we would say the girls and we say "the kids." Glad you are feeling better.

Jenna said...

I just wanted to say that I know how you're feeling about having girl stuff. I am currently 5 months pregnant with our first baby... a boy. And when we found out I was half excited and half disappointed. Of course I already love him to bits and can't wait for him to get here, but there is something about a mama having a baby girl. I know someday God will bless me with one of those too. I am very excited for you and will be keeping you in my prayers. Have fun finishing her nursery!

fuzzytop said...

The "pinkness" associated with baby girls jsut cracks me up! My daughter, who is now 12, still loves pink; as she says " and sparkly are my two favorite colors!" Makes me grin.

I love how you are looking forward to your new nightly routine with such anticipation - it's just sweet and charming!


barbara head said...

Being the mother of a girl and a boy, I can relate with you. You will not love Jackson any less with the birth of that precious girl. God has given mothers an overflowing "heart capacity". Isn't our God amazing!!! Can't wait to see "baby girl's" picture alongside Jackson. Two beautiful children. What more could you ask for!!!

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling of finally seeing all the pink frilly clothes, it is just awesome!!!

Angela said...

You wrote that beautifully. I had those same feeling 7 months ago. I had to say goodbye to cute dinosaur bedding and blue things to make way for our little girl and all her pink.
I peek on both kids before I go to bed and it's my favorite time of day.
Oh, and my baby bangs are back, I have the spikes. Oh joy!

Lindsey Smith said...

Amanda- you don't know me, and I am not even sure how I came across your blog! However, I have a little boy, Anderson, who is about Jackson's age and a little girl Lydia who just turned 5 months old. It seems as if you and I are on the same schedule!!

I cried like a baby when we moved Anderson to his big boy room, so I know exactly what you are going through! Just try to embrace all the new things you will have to look forward to with Jackson getting older. I can assure though it will make you baby that little girl even more because you know how quickly they grow after watching the first one!! Congrats to you and I can't wait to see the big announcement when she arrives. I'll be praying for you in Alabama! I have a blog too in case you want to make sure I am not a crazy person!


The Synnott's said...

pretty cool huh!

Fran said...

Between you and Kelly I'm just a mess. This made me cry.

Love ya girl. Enjoy every bit of it. You know how quickly it goes.

Mel @ Studio MCA Designs said...

How fun! What a great way to spend these last few weeks of pregnancy.

Spicy Magnolia said...

I'm so excited for you, Amanda, and the thought of your KIDS! It's such an exciting time for you and I can't wait to see how your nursery all comes together! We're due today (but no signs of baby coming) and we don't know boy or girl yet. I am DYING to go shopping to fill the closet with cute clothes! :) May your day be fun and blessed as you receive all the new things. Oh, and I love picturing you going in and tucking your kiddos in have a precious family!

Unknown said...

My first child is a beautiful 16 month old baby girl! I loved shopping and receiving glorious displays of pink gifts for her! I'm now pregnant with my second child and it's a boy! YIPPEE! You see, I guess it's just the opposite for me. While shopping for my daughter, I kept seeing the cutest most adorable baby boy clothes. So I'm absolutely thrilled to be able to have boy clothes and things in my house! :) :)

Isn't God just so good to give us one of each?!?! :)

I'm hoping to be in New Orleans in April to see your mom. I'll be in my eighth month of pregnancy, but I think hearing your mom will be worth it!

I was wondering...are you using a pregnancy journal?


Kelly said...

I think you are having as much shock over having TWO kids as I am over having ONE!
I go in Harper's room every night and just stare in her closet and I have to pinch myself because I am about to have a little girl to dress up and put in bows and love on! I can't believe God has been so good to me!
(Oh great - now I'm crying. VPG has to stop reading blogs and leaving comments. ha!)

lavonda said...

it's the best feeling ever, where you are right now!

you're right where I was eight years ago... and I treasure the memories of that time. so precious.

Sarah said...

Amanda, this brings back so many memories! When we moved from "child" to "kids," it was SO strange! I felt like a grown-up :) And then once I was pregnant with Addie, I cried every time I saw something pink. My mom mailed me a "pink" package for her every month I was pregnant--almost three years later, I still get teary when we shop for her Christmas presents in the pink section at Toys R Us!

I'm SO happy for you--having a girl is like coming home, if that makes any sense at all. Sister, you're going to LOVE it!

And thank you for the sweet comment on my last post--I'm seriously tempted to keep on blogging!

The Allens said...

Oh! All of that is so wonderful! You'll have to take pictures of the roomS!

ocean mommy said...

So sweet. You are just precious and your kids are so blessed to have you as their mommy.

You better be posting some pictures of all that pink!!! My girls are coming out of that stage and I miss all the frills and bows!


Kari said...

Have you ever read the Karen Kingsbury poem about our children's lasts? I am not sure of the title but she put it into a children's book and it is SOOO good. If you haven't seen it before now would be a special time!

annalee said...

there is something absolutely precious about oodles and oodles of pink! just wait til you get to actually put your baby girl in those things, my heart melts each and every time!
you are a fabulous "boy mom" and will be a wonderful "girl mom" too!

Nancy Mon said...

I love this post. It is one of my favorites.

See you at Bunko!

ClintandGina said...

Your description of baby girl closets got me dreaming that our "soon to be" will turn out to be a girl :) I can't wait to see pictures of your baby girl nursery all fixed up!

kittyhox said...

I hear you. I've been looking at old photos of my two-and-a-half year old BIG KID and wondering exactly when the baby chub, rosy cheeks, and constant bed head went away. Somewhere between 2 and 2.5. His tod bod is almost totally gone. Not fair.

But on the other hand, he wasn't so affectionate then, and didn't say so many darn cute things.

What I'd like is a remote to rewind and relive, but still be able to catch back up right where he is now, which is amazing.

Oh, and photos of the nursery when it's finished, please!

Lauren said...

Oh, what a nice post. Transitions are hard, every time. But God knows different seasons bring different joys.

Anonymous said...

The pink is just so much fun! Pink's all I've ever had, I never had the joy of appreciating both the pink and the blue. Before you know it your garage (and storage unit!) will be filled with plastic tubs filled with tiny pink frilly things that were saved for baby sister and now don't even fit her anymore. So you stash them in a tub in storage "so that Uncle and Aunty can use them for their babies" but really you're just in denial about giving away those precious pink, frilly things that brought so much joy. And your husband dutifully stores and schleps them for you because he knows what it means to you.

Or is that just me? ;)

Anonymous said...

I had a boy, then 2 years and 3 months later, a girl. You should have seen her closet, too! I borrowed a few lines from Steel Magnolias.

"It looks like the place has been covered in Pepto-Bismol."

"My colors aren't pink and pink, they're blush and bashful."

God bless our girls :-)

Jenny said...

What a lovely time you must be having!

Heather said...

I have always been the SAME way about the girl's clothes/closet/accessories and I have had so many moments lately thanking God that now I get to experience it for myself.
At the same time, though, since I have a 3-year-old boy, too, I know exactly where you are coming from on the rest of the post, too. It's almost daily that I "mourn" the loss of something little in Connor....but then again, it's also daily that I celebrate his growing up and all he is becoming.
Parenthood is TOUGH on the mom's emotions! (And hormones don't help!)
Can't wait to see pics of baby girl's closet and Jackson's new room!

Patty said...

I am so happy for you! I will have to enjoy looking at all your pink, girly clothes and bows and such along with other friends who have girls. :)
I understand your emotions about taking down Jackson's baby stuff to make his room a big boy room. I remember having to do that with my boys but each phase of thier lives offer special moments that you will always cherish. I still cannot believe your baby girl is coming soon!
Have a great weekend.

Marla Taviano said...

What a sweet, sweet, sweet post! Have you looked into purple and turquoise--also cute for baby girls? :)

CANNOT WAIT to see pics of your little bundle!

connorcolesmom said...

This post made me smile
I remeber the emotions of going from one child to 2 - it is truly so fun!
It will be so much fun to have a little girl and Jackson is going to be a GREAT big brother!
I would love to see some pics of the rooms when you get a chance :)

petrii said...

Very Very sweet. I am with ya on the boy's room and boy's clothes and stuff. My boy, 16 came out of school today after ordering his class ring with a sweatshirt that says 2011 on the back and Class of 11 on the front ~~ tear. They grow up so fast. Enjoy Jackson and Baby Girl.

Have a Blessed evening,

Catrina said...

You are so blessed to be still and capture these fleeting moments. I have two girls 7 & 3 and those final days before the 2nd baby came were some of the most tender of my entire life. Hide them in your heart and treasure them. I'm praying the Lord will burn into your memory all these things that time tends to steal away. And that every time you open the door to each of your children's rooms your heart will burst with pure joy... even on the hard days. Thanks for making all of us a part of your family's life. Blessings! :)

Tara G. said...

I had saved all of Sofia's clothing through 2T just in case we had another girl. And now that Hannah is here, I find myself wishing I would have gotten rid of it because it is so fun to buy little girl's clothing!!

Love our last home, I had painted Sofia's room with pink stripes- it was so pretty and girly...we're doing the best we can in this rental; it's only a year...

The nursery is beautiful, classy and girly!!

Ashley said...

It's overwhelming, emotionally, isn't it? Having two kids. I am just in awe of the Lord's blessing.

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

The thing is, while you were loving my pink things, I was adoring Jackson's page boy hat and oxford shirt onesie. You have the best-dressed boy on the planet! So dapper.

Suzi K said...

I'm sorry but I cracked up at this-
"I pretended to be crying because I was mad at my husband, but in reality I was crying because this was goodbye to Baby and even Toddler Jackson."

I have been there lol! Thought only I did that:)

Anonymous said...

It gets even better when she gets to wear all those pretty pink things! And the sadness you feel over Jackson's growing up/not being your baby anymore. It subsides (I won't say it goes away, but you just have less time to think about it!)


katiegfromtennessee said...

I am glad that you are having a girl after the Lord gave you a boy, so now you will have both!:) What great blessing!:)

Oh Little Momma, all the stages of your kiddles growing up...YES, TWO different rooms! Wow and praise the Lord!:)

Love in CHRIST,


Vonda said...

This was so well written that at the end...I think I felt what you were feeling...WEIRD! KidSSS!

So cool!

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

This is probably my favorite post you've ever written.