My dad likes to use a particular word that I've never even heard anyone else say. It's emote. Emote, emotes, emoted, emoting. It's kind of a funny sounding word, especially coming from a camo-sporting, knife-sharpening, gun-cleaning outdoorsman. Anyway, if you peek into my world this week you'll probably see a lot of emoting. The evil axis of emotional turmoil is descending on me even as I type. Weaning, hormones, and my child's first birthday...attacking all in the same week. I'm also coming down with this cold. Pray, intercede, for Curtis.
Saturday night at church was the kick-off for emo week. The first worship song we sang was "Lord Most High," which just happened to be one of the songs on a Praise Baby CD I was given at one of Jackson's baby showers. I played the CD all the time when Jackson was a newborn. It was really helpful to me spiritually since having a newborn can be really hard on, well, everything. You need all the help you can get. As soon as the band started singing the song, my tears began their ambitious attempt to flood the front row. I could feel that 7 pound baby in my arms again, remember the feelings of inadequacy mixed with love, and ache with that indescribable exhaustion. What I wanted to do was run to the nursery, grab my baby, and sob until I had no tears left. What I did do is pretty much stifle the emoting woman so that she can come forth in all her splendor at a more convenient time. Looking forward to that.
So, if you would rather not be privy to my emotional ramblings, you would do well to check back in next week. By then I should have some fun pictures and party reports for you. But this week I'm reserving the right to emote.
On a lighter note, I had a really fun Jackson moment yesterday. He was sitting behind his walker toy and I was about 5 feet in front of him. Prior to this moment, he had only ever walked with it after I'd stood him behind it. I said, "Jackson, walk over to mama! Walk over to mama!" Plain as day, that child began laughing, stood himself up behind it, and pushed it over to me. It may not sound like much, but I will probably never forget that sweet moment as long as I live.