Monday, February 12, 2007

And the Birthday Week Begins

My dad likes to use a particular word that I've never even heard anyone else say. It's emote. Emote, emotes, emoted, emoting. It's kind of a funny sounding word, especially coming from a camo-sporting, knife-sharpening, gun-cleaning outdoorsman. Anyway, if you peek into my world this week you'll probably see a lot of emoting. The evil axis of emotional turmoil is descending on me even as I type. Weaning, hormones, and my child's first birthday...attacking all in the same week. I'm also coming down with this cold. Pray, intercede, for Curtis.

Saturday night at church was the kick-off for emo week. The first worship song we sang was "Lord Most High," which just happened to be one of the songs on a Praise Baby CD I was given at one of Jackson's baby showers. I played the CD all the time when Jackson was a newborn. It was really helpful to me spiritually since having a newborn can be really hard on, well, everything. You need all the help you can get. As soon as the band started singing the song, my tears began their ambitious attempt to flood the front row. I could feel that 7 pound baby in my arms again, remember the feelings of inadequacy mixed with love, and ache with that indescribable exhaustion. What I wanted to do was run to the nursery, grab my baby, and sob until I had no tears left. What I did do is pretty much stifle the emoting woman so that she can come forth in all her splendor at a more convenient time. Looking forward to that.

So, if you would rather not be privy to my emotional ramblings, you would do well to check back in next week. By then I should have some fun pictures and party reports for you. But this week I'm reserving the right to emote.

On a lighter note, I had a really fun Jackson moment yesterday. He was sitting behind his walker toy and I was about 5 feet in front of him. Prior to this moment, he had only ever walked with it after I'd stood him behind it. I said, "Jackson, walk over to mama! Walk over to mama!" Plain as day, that child began laughing, stood himself up behind it, and pushed it over to me. It may not sound like much, but I will probably never forget that sweet moment as long as I live.


BooMama said...

If it helps at all, know that on the other side of that 1st birthday you are going to be moving head-first into an even deeper level of mind-blowing, life-altering joy. No kidding. A one year old is a complete blast.

But for the rest of this week? I suggest lots and lots of chocolate. It goes well with emoting.


Big Mama said...

"the evil axis of emotional turmoil", yes, I know it well.

And Boomama is right. You will keep falling more in love with him and it will make you wonder what you and your husband ever laughed at before he came along.

Of course, there will still be times that you long to feel that 7 pound baby in your arms. Emote all you want.

Kevin and Christie said...

Yeah...birthday week...A Simons/George Tradition! It is one of the most important weeks of the far as I am concerned! I am sorry that it is going to be emotional for you...maybe it will be better than you think? I don't know...I can't give that great of advice...just in the learning phase...

love ya!


Debra said...

Have fun celebrating Jackson's life! I am looking forward to the pictures to come.

Anonymous said... "probably?" i'd say you Definitely Will Not forget that first step.....he's officially passed the Bean-Bag stage. Happy Birthday Jackson, Amanda and Curt!

Sunni said...

I loudly emoted in front of all the mother's day out teachers this morning for Ava's first day.

It feels good to emote. Let it all out! And just know that after this week, and the BIG BIRTHDAY BASH!!!'ll have your fun, toddler Jackson to play with! Probably WALK with! And if baby Jackson was cute, toddler Jackson will be off the charts!

Janelle said...

I am with you Amanda. We will make it through this week, as hard as it is going to be! And I appreciate the encouragement through you to me that boo mama and big mama gave!

Sam McClure said...

Just so you know, I was one big emotional hormone walking around when sam turned one. But, your friends are right in saying that it only keeps getting better and better!