Sunday, February 11, 2007

Bill's Crush

Bill is one studly cat. Despite the fact that he's a eunuch and he never goes outside, he has a girlfriend. Maybe it's because he lives up to the very manly name we've given him. Or maybe his machismo is overcompensation for his gender identity issues in the first year of his life. I don't know.

Bill's favorite hobby is destroying mini-blinds. It's one of his enduring areas of destructiveness. For the past week he has been furiously darting from window to window, bending the blinds back to see out. Several have snapped, now putting us squarely on the white trash list until my hubby breaks down and lets me buy wood blinds. Yesterday he was over the edge, meowing and meowing at the windows. Bill, shut it! The baby's asleep! And then I see a petite, young she-cat - the object of his obsession. She was curled up and sleeping on a tree trunk four feet from the window. Bless his heart. Does he not know? That he ain't the man he once was?

She was back again today. Sister what are you trying to do here? Do you know what you're doing to my boy? Then I had a vision of myself thirteen years from now, wondering the same thing about some adolescent diva-in-the-making. She's already working her way onto Mama's bad list.

8 comments:

BooMama said...

"Or maybe his machismo is overcompensation for his gender identity issues in the first year of his life."

OH sweet mercy that's humor.

And after spending the last hour in the driveway with a three year old who refuses to use the pedals on his tricycle yet still insists on propelling himself down the hill at high speeds, I needed the laugh.

iveyfamily said...

Hilarious! Yes I have two boys too and can not even bring myself to the day when there are hood-rat girls knocking on my door.

I love my boys!

part time single mom said...

Love this!

Kay Altic said...

Poor Prada

Tammie said...

Crack Up!!

Sunni said...

"machismo"--I haven't heard that word in a while. Thank you.

The Van Fam said...

We don't discuss JD's future as far as ladies are concerned. Maybe this is because I've convinced myself that I'm the only woman he'll ever love.

Jimmy never could understand why I spent the first 2 months of JD's life crying about him going to prom.

barbara head said...

Seventeen years ago I thought "NO ONE" was good enough for MY baby boy--then along came Tammie (well she definitely wasn't the one) or so I thought. Well God in His infinite wisdom knew better than I. They have been married for almost 15 years now and I have totally fallen for a "MATCH" only God could have put together. They are perfect for each other. Just trust the Lord to provide Jackson with "THE ONE". Love your "blob".