If you're a man, you might want to stop here.
I am in the second circle of fashion hades. I passed through the first circle about 6 weeks ago, but the second is not much better. Ugh! Nothing fits me. My maternity clothes, thankfully, are too big and ridiculous. I have one pair of jeans that can work but the seat is all saggy. But my regular clothes look awful. The things I can squeeze into just look wrong. And I made the mistake of entering a dressing room in which I saw myself from the back and realized how horrible my proportions are. Don't look at it - still! Yeah, so I went shopping on Saturday to find some things for this in between stage. I don't even know how many pairs of jeans I put on. They were either too big or too small. Nothing was right. Oh well. So I guess I will keep wearing my same two outfits that I feel presentable in over and over again until I have a breakthrough.
I will leave in an hour to go to my first step aerobics class since August. Since the dressing room incident, I am now a desperate enough to go. Luckily my friend Missy is going to be there. She is 7 months pregnant, so we'll have each other's backs if it gets ugly. She asked me not to leak milk all over the floor so that she doesn't slip. And I will pray that she doesn't have a bladder incident. Otherwise, Pregnant Girl and Postpartum Girl are gonna rock it hard core! And by hard core I mean low impact. We'll see how many layers of bras I end up wearing.
Also? I discovered why I was mysteriously calm the first two weeks with Annnabeth. The other day I burned the crud out of my hand on the plug of my hair dryer. Is that not ridiculous? It hurt really bad, so I got out my Dermoplast spray to see if it would help. Dermoplast is this spray you get at the hospital after giving birth to help you not hurt so much. I'll leave it at that. Anyway, I used it every couple hours for two weeks. I got to where I enjoyed the smell of it. So when I sprayed it on my hand the other day, I relished the fumes. And I felt happy. Almost euphoric. And I realized that for two weeks I had been high on Dermoplast. That would explain why I hit a wall after two weeks.
I'm only half serious of course.
Okay, I need to go find my huge hospital cup to fill with ice water for my class. I'm hoping it will clue everyone in to the fact that I've just had a baby and that is why I am wearing my husband's t-shirt and using a bench without any risers. Please pray for me while I'm at class. It's highly possible that, after so many months, I might pass out or trip on the step and bust it. At least I have some extra padding back there. And if you want to pray for my vanity, that'd probably be good too.
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72 comments:
Inbetween clothes are a must for sanity's sake. Between the rear view and the nursing b's it was too long before my clothes fit right. Hope 2 sports bras do the trick :)
I love your honesty and I am laughing right now at how much I am getting you at this moment. Oh the joys of post pregnancy.
I have a problem I've never had in my LIFE - nothing fits because I can't get anything over the "girls". Seriously - where is the flat chested girl from my younger days? I am Dolly Parton.
Dermoplast is the greatest stuff ever. I had no idea it was making me high, but I guess I was too tired to notice.
Hope the aerobics goes well. That which does not kill us helps us be able to eat more Sonic tots.
Praying! For you...your buddy...and me, too, as I have been exercising again (needing sticktoitness).
I just googled dermoplast because I was ignornant- apparently, at army hospitals, that is a foreign word. Now, ice pack or tucks- I know those.
Have fun at your class. I am in the same position with my clothes. I have a one month old baby girl.
Is it okay that I am cracking up at this post :)
bless you! I'm laughing with you, and wishing that I had postpartum issues as my excuse!
Amanda, I wish we could compare stories in person. I need someone out here for some good comic relief for my similar issues. I miss you and can't wait to talk!
oh my! I'm laughing at your joke about milk and bladder incidents! I have a lot to learn before I have babies!!! :)
You're too cute! And you're not alone--I'm having serious trouble with my shirts and my new bust size. Argh. Double argh. Haven't gone shopping yet; I'm too scared! :) I hope you have fun tonight and enjoy the evening out.
Hilarious! But not, right?! At least you are only 6 weeks in...my youngest is now 3 and I'm trying to figure out where it all went wrong!
Happy stepping! :)
You are just too funny. I still remember after I had my 1st daughter, I was so disappointed that I was still fat when I left the hospital. I thought that once that baby came out, that I would be magically just like I was before. Ha!
It will all get back to normal though, I promise. It just takes a little while. Take it easy though and don't overdo.
Beth
Amanda,
You are so funny. Girl you rock that step, you go with extra padding, and you take that hospital glass and make it obvious, take a sweet pic of Annabeth to show your friend, (just a suggestion =) and have fun, Fun, FUN!!
Have a Blessed evening,
dAwn
Girl - we totally rocked the low impact section of the room. :). Praise God for no leakage. Glad we went even though the baby didn't like it.
Yoga pants and tunics...
They are every mother's friends and they make it appear as though you've just worked out...perpetually.
Good luck!
I totally feel you sister! My newborn just hit the two month mark and I'm starting to face the facts that exercise is the only way back into my cherished Joes Jeans...UGH! Hang in there and if all else fails I guess we can just sniff the Dermoplast until we no longer care about our rear views...lol!
I am dying over here, Amanda. This is hilarious, especially the Dermoplast part.
You are so funny! I hope you went and had a great time and feel wonderful! I know I didn't have the get-up-and-go when I was so sleep deprived, but I wish I had. If it makes you feel any better, I JUST started working out consistently, and I feel so good when I go.
But I wish I had started earlier!
I am so with you!! The after-baby body was the dumpiest I've ever felt in my life. If you're not opposed to second-hand, you can usually find some good in-between clothes at a consignment store. That way you can get a few cute things without the guilt of paying full price!
-- Nancy
oh, honey, buy a Wii fit. you can do step at home and not worry about the mirrors.
Hope it all works our for you. Thank you for your honesty.
I tried to play basketball when Livi was a few weeks old. I seriously came thisclose to passing out. Please be careful!!
Just catching up with you; I've been on a media fast so I'm commenting on a few recent posts. First, kudos for getting back on the horse or step as it were. I'm sending an amen in the nothing fits category. I've found that leggings and a-line dresses from Francescas Collections have been a life saver. A-line hides a multitude of sins after all. And as for life with two, my revelation is this: babies are easy, toddlers are hard. Seriously once you get over the panic of thinking you may break your baby you start to realize this ain't half bad. Toddlers on the other hand...well, lots and lots of work. Blessings on both ends, gal!
I am smiling so big as I read this post! I took one step class with my Mom and sister and we were laughing so hard at how terrible we were that we all wet our pants! You never know what will happen in those classes.
I remember the stage that you are in all too well. Just remember that to Annabeth and Jackson you are so beautiful, no matter what you are wearing. And they are your main audience these days anyway!
Much love to you!
I hope class went okay for you! Tomorrow and Wednesday your calves will feel like they are splitting open! At least that's how I feel. Just power though, girl! Good Luck!
Girl, I have felt your PAIN!! I hope your class went well and that there was no leakage from either you or your friend!
My youngest is almost 7 and I still have to wear a reagular bra and a sports bra to give the "girls" enough support when I run. The 70 pounds I've lost has made it all worth it though!
I just read Bigmama's comment and since we JUST GOT a Sonic here, I guess I am going to have to run extra miles so I can eat those tots-- dern.
Just tell me, are they worth it?
Dermoplast is the best! I'm due any day and already stocked up on some for the house, when the time comes. Hope the workout went well!
Ummmm, I am pretty sure you look great - we are our own worst critic most of the time.
While I was pregnant with my first son, I bought a cute little sleeveless Ralph Lauren shirt dress to wear home (because everyone wants their first day home with new baby to be perfect, right?).
The day I left the hospital I went to put it on and realized I could only button the bottom three buttons - the rest wouldnt have come together without the help of some sturdy rope and/or some heavy machinery. I cried and put my maternity clothes back on. Three weeks later, I was in Wal-Mart buying diapers and the check-out lady asked me when my baby was due --- I said "any day now" and left in tears --- I know it was a lie, but I was too embarrassed to tell her that my baby was almost a month old. Oh the horror of it all!!!! Makes me cringe to think about it 7 yrs later.
So, I hope that story makes you feel better......you'll be back in those old jeans in no time!
You can do it, sister friend. And you will be so glad you did! Having Missy there I am sure helped a ton. Go you! Go y'all!
love it! i hope it went well with no accidents or wet areas on the floor.
love it! i hope it went well with no accidents or wet areas on the floor.
I've been walking everyday, except today. It snowed....AGAIN! I'm 11 years postpartum.
As my husband would say during my aerobic work outs "Get those legs up...you grew 'em, you lift 'em"! Such a cheer leader.
Good luck.
Melana
oh the "in-between" clothes...i just sold most of mine in a garage sale...they were priceless twice during postpartum though!
those big hospital mugs are the best! they keep the ice forever and don't sweat. i think that will be clue enough for everyone!
hope your work out was great...
Little Momma, I love you girl! You are so real. I need to know this stuff! I hope your class was the best:) I don't know how I'll be if I have kids with my body image...I don't know what to say?? I need help with vanity too! I know I'll gain weight with a pregnancy, it's inevitable. Lord, show us how to view ourselves!!! We need to listen to Your opinion, not the world's or our own overly critical self! In Your Name, Amen!
Little Momma, the Lord thinks you are a beautiful warrior princess! True THAT!((HUGS)):)
katiegfromtennessee
I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who loves the smell of Dermaplast! Whew - that's a relief!
I hear ya! I have been working out for 4 weeks and don't seem to be making much progress. Stupid thighs! Stupid rump!
Well, I feel your pain. Literally. About working out and...Dermoplast? That stuff sounds awesome and I sure wish I had some!!!
Amanda- I just LOVE you! You always make me smile. Love your realness and honesty!!! Hope the class went well. Can't wait to hear all about it :o)
you are hilarious!
read the fine print on the back of that can... does it say anything about a sign of overuse to be thinking your name is Pamela?
you made me smile this morning. :)
(I so remember that spray. they didn't give it to me with my firstborn and did with my second. that stuff was like contraband! I was trying to get every nurse I knew at the hospital to get me more of it!)
I was always so thankful my husband understood the 'in between clothes'. You simply MUST have them.
I'm in awe of the fact you're already back to aerobics. Go, Amanda! My baby is three .... maybe I should get back. Here, I was thinking it was too early :)
Oh my gosh - I just spit out my drink when I read about you and Missy telling each other to keep your fluids in check!
I had to by the "transitional" clothes. Which I am glad to say they were only transitional! You will be back in your old stuff before you know it!
I was not given Dermoplast.... I might demand it next time!!
You crack me up! I wish you luck with the step! Get your groove on girl!
I say forget aerobics and just wear wrap dresses for the next couple of months. :)
You are so funny!!! I love this blog. Listen, I didn't just have a baby, but I have put on a few pounds since Thanksgiving. Well it is almost swimsuit time. So I started exercising. I have a Denise Austin Fat-blasting Yoga video that I use. Let's just say that I think I have blasted something besides my Fat!!!!
Oh and today, March 10th is my one and only child's 10th birthday. I am home from work getting ready for a family supper. I am eating lunch with her today at school. My vanity probably needs praying for, too. I asked her what she wanted me to wear...something cute she says. Okay I am 36...what is cute????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great day!!!
I am laughing my head off at your Dermoplast comment. I was the same way! And when we moved from the house where my babies were born this past Oct., I found an old can of it, sprayed it, and was taken back to such a sweet time. :-)
Oh my WORD. I went back to working out when Teyla was about two months old. And all I can say is -- no bouncing. It's not good for the ladies, it's not good for the bladder.
I applaud your dedication. Truthfully, I felt a lot better once I started to move around again.
P.S. I still have my can of Dermoplast in the medicine cabinet, for those really bad days.
ahhh... the smell of dermoplast...
Oh - I am still chuckling! Excellent post!
I can identify with you...hope you had fun at aerobics and the floors stayed dry.
I'm taking step class too and it's kickig my tail. It is killer for new moms! I had to go out and buy new clothes. I just couldn't stand being in the middle and although I had to buy a size up, I feel much better when I look at myself. Hope you had fun at step class
Ha! I am so there! My baby (baby #2) is four weeks old today, and I have nothing to wear. I bought a few t-shirts that look sort of okay with my maternity jeans (the ones that were two small before I delivered). UGHHH! I don't want to spend money on clothes that I (hopefully) won't wear for too long. Thanks for sharing- makes me feel better! I like the part about pray for my vanity- I agree! I'm studying your mom's Esther study right now--It's tough being a woman --- postpartum!
Okay, so I'm having to delurk because this post just made me laugh so hard! Love reading your blog, but this one...too funny!
I'm due to deliver in less than two months, so I'll have to remember to be careful around the dermoplast. That's just too funny, or maybe not?? :)
And I'm looking forward to a giant hospital mug to add to my collection that grew each time I had my babies!
Hope the class goes well, I admire you! I'll be lucky to take walks or do WII Fit.
I have another 4 weeks before I'm allowed to work out! In between is no fun...I am actually really happy with my body for 4 weeks out, but it's just all...well, mushy is the word I am using to describe it! One day I will have my body back...hopefully! Good luck with class...
We're in the same boat, but I would bet that you are closer to being where you want to be rather than me. I wish my pants were saggy in the rear, what a great problem to have. If I look in the mirror, the only song that comes to mind is "I like big butts....."
But I have been running and walking with the baby cause I refuse to go to the beach like this. I am also doing Jillian's workout from Biggest Loser on Comcast' on Demand, it's free!! and it's busting my rear! I just stopped nursing and hoping the "twins" go back down some, I'd like to be little again!
I love ya girl and I bet y'all did just fine! and, I bet y'all laughed a whole lot when it was over too. ;)
Big hugs~
Fran
i am there with you, as far as the clothes fitting right. i did get one pair of wonderful jeans from gap maternity that are half maternity/half regular... they have a small panel in the front, but the back is regular with belt loops and all. i love them. they have saved me so many mornings when i don't know what to wear. it was so fun seeing annabeth the other night. if possible, she is even cuter in real life than in the pictures! love ya!
Girl. Please. Are you trying to hightail yourself into a big ugly case of post-partum depression by the frustration that comes from working out and seeing absolutely no results??? Your body is gonna cling to that fat like stench to the Livestock Show till you quit nursing.
Repeat after me:
Nine months on - nine months off - nine months on - nine months off - Nine months on - nine months off - nine months on - nine months off -
I'm a first time pregnant lady and I had NO IDEA about this in between stage! What!!!? Eeeeeeeeeeeeep. Do let me know more tips!
I can second that...Dermoplast is nectar from Heaven. After having four of my own youngins, I made sure I had myself a drum of it by my bed ALWAYS.
So, you think I need an intervention?
Love your blog...
Amanda...I love reading your blog because you never fail to make me laugh out loud in Starbucks...and you definately bring many smiles to my face!
I hope that your class went well! You can do it girl!
Cracking up!
My workout break is over too but my baby is 11 months old. My break should have been over a long time ago. LOL!!! Love reading your blog!
Amanda,
I check your blog almost everyday and enjoy it so much.
A few weeks back I sent some items to the Living Proof office and wanted to make sure they had been received. I hope they didn't get lost. I didn't know where to post this question.
Beth from Alabama
Amanda-I'm so glad to have been referred to your blog by a friend! I don't know if you remember me...we worked together on the Breakaway Discipleship team. Your writing is great--take that, former Texas A&M journalism department (I'm sure they're sorry they did away with that if they've been to your blog). Anyways, your family is beautiful and congrats on your newest little girl!
LOL ... Seriously. I can't even tell you how hard I just laughed at the whole thing. I hope your step class is amazing - you'll have your bikini bod back in no time :)
Hey, at least you're out of the house ... major jealous about that!
Hey Amanda-
Hope your workout went well :-) I was thinking about your adorable baby bedding for Annabeth, and was wondering if we could see a picture of the girlie nursery!?! Ya know... in your free time and all ;-)
Atleast you have a good excuse for your shape!!! You will find "normal" again. I on the other hand can only say I am 46 and lazy! Got a treadmill and going to start there Tomorrow!
Sherry
Marietta GA
Ohhh I am so glad I stumbled across this post tonight! I was just thinking today, "I really *hate* my body right now"--not something I usually even let myself think! But at almost 10 weeks postpartum, I'm still at that dreadful stage where nothing fits, I really do have all of 2 outfits I look presentable in, and I too am wearing my husband's T-shirts! Thank you for helping me laugh about it rather than let it get to me. :) (And yes, Dermoplast is the best!)
Hey girl - you probably got told this 307 times but there are these clippy things at Bed Bath & Beyond just for duvets. They are like special clothespins that go on each corner, but they won't rip it like safety pins would.
We recently got a new quilt for our bed. And I tell ya, I didn't really realize that the ole duvet was a source of stress in my life till I got rid of it!
i just found your blog and LOVE IT! i have never known anyone to feel the same way about dermaplast as i do. in fact, it makes me want to go that can out now.
i'll be back to giggle again soon! maybe even tomorrow!
I am starting to work out as well, because I have some of the same delimas...my jeans fit, but the rest of my clothes look hideous!
Anyhow, good luck with all of your workouts!
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