Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Update on Crises Past

I have some incredible news, people. I think it's officially safe to say THE MISTER IS POTTY TRAINED. If you've been thinking all along that we'd already reached this point, you've been sorely mistaken. It got so bad after Annabeth was born. Curt and I were fighting anger every time we had to change him. We'd been working on it for so long. And changing a three-year-old is just wrong. I will refrain from writing a descriptive paragraph on that. You're welcome. Suffice it to say that the comparison between my preschooler's pull-ups and my newborn's diapers just magnified the problem.

After six and a half months of trying everything under the sun, here's what finally did it. Jackson had gotten the tee-teeing thing down pretty quick. It was the other that gave us so much grief. Ever since the beginning of the year, Jacks had a very regular pattern of going during his nap. (This was one of the major factors causing The Nap Crisis of 2009.) One day Curtis got really brave and put Jackson down for his rest time without a pull up on. So he'd have to come out of his room and go on the potty or else do his business in the bed. Curt really got lucky because it worked! That's all it took! Of course, now it takes him 20 minutes to go down for a nap because he gets up over and over to go, but at least we aren't changing any more enormous diapers. Today he only got up once, so maybe we're making progress.

It's been about two weeks since we've had him in underwear except for during his nap and at night. He's been to church, to the rodeo, to the mall, to MDO, and everywhere else in his unders and he's done great. I think he's had maybe 3 accidents and they've been at home. I have to give huge props to Curtis because he's worked so hard with him these past few months. I also have to give credit to my amazing co-workers because they have prayed really hard for us about it lately. Thank you, sweet sisters!

Also, remember The Sharing Crisis of 2008? Well, honestly, it was so miserable that I can count on one hand how many playdates we've hosted at our house since then. I think the last one was in November. It took my friends calling me and saying, "Hey, can we come over this week?" for it to happen. It just wasn't worth it to have anyone over when Jackson spent most of the time in trouble. He simply couldn't handle other kids playing with his toys without having tantrums. But today my friend Michelle came over with her two boys to meet Annabeth and have a playdate. Keegan is 2.5 and Jack is 1. I was kind of nervous, but Jackson showed me that he has really grown up. Even though he had a few time outs, he impressed me big time by how well he played with Keegan and shared with both of them. It was a monumental improvement. I think maybe we can get back into the swing of playdates again.

And in case I haven't mentioned it, The Nap Crisis of 2009 was solved by changing the name of nap time to "rest time." We remind Jackson that he doesn't have to sleep, but he does have to stay in his bed and be quiet. And every day he actually sleeps. I am deeply indebted to whoever it was that suggested that to me. Taking the pressure off was like magic. He went back to sleeping every day for two hours, just in time for the baby to come.

I'm super thankful to God for this big, timely reminder that these things we work so hard on really will bear fruit in time.

49 comments:

Valerie said...

"Rest time" does it every time! :) And even when it doesn't , it gives Mama a much-needed break regardless. When I taught Kindermusic a few years ago, our trainers told us how important it was to teach our kids to take quiet time by themselves and either rest or at least learn to unwind. We live in such a fast-paced world that apparently kids are not "learning" how to relax! That stuck with me and now that I am a mom, I have put it into practice. And I have to admit, my boy can get rambunctious, but he also knows how to turn it down when I ask him to and get quiet. It's a lifesaver, for the both of us!

Deidre said...

Yay, Jackson!

And, yay Mom and Dad! I know how stressful that can be - no small feat!

I had to do the same thing with my girls' naptime - telling them it was just a rest time instead of sleeping. Ofcourse, they always fell asleep. Even now, with my oldest being 7 we have what we call 'quiet time' in our rooms for an hour. She knows she can read, play or sleep but this time is reserved for us all to regroup and settle down. It's GLORIOUS! (I'm secretly hoping it shapes her desire to have a quiet time with the Lord when she's older - which she chooses at times now).

Congratulations!!

Becca~TimeWellSpent said...

Good job to ALL of you! It's such a huge feeling of accomplishment to get past that hurdle.
Great job on the nap time as well. My daughter quit taking naps just before turning three. Apparently I did the same thing at her age. I wish I would have had her just stay in her room like you're doing. I surely needed her to with a newborn:)

Alison said...

Hooray! Those are huge, huge victories! I'm so glad to know that there is hope on the other side of all of those battles.

Jen said...

Thank you for sharing! I am a mommy of an 8 month old and love to hear the "real" in what you write. :)

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

You are a very wise and precious mother.

Glad the potty training went well!

Beth

Haley said...

That's awesome! So glad things are going well for you guys!

debra said...

Awesome, Awesome!

Rachel said...

Let's face it, potty training sucks. We experienced much the same with our son and I was about ready to give up or hurt somebody. :) But it finally took. PTL! So I can relate and praising with you for that accomplishment!

Keri said...

I swear reading your posts is like taking a walk down memory lane.

My oldest was 3 years and 3 or 4 months before he was fully potty trained. THE very last one in his preschool class........no pressure or anything.

Our biggest issue? That boy has some tall DNA in him. He looked at least 4 years old by the time he was 3 so the looks I would get when pulling a portable ladder out of my purse so he could climb onto the changing table in the restroom......it was a true lesson in humility.

Just wait......Annabeth will be so anxious to catch up to her big brother (never mind the adorable girl unmentionables) that she'll probably be trained by 2. Seriously......

So glad to hear some of your crisis have passed you by!!

Moose Mama said...

Well this is just happy news all the way around! Just when you thought you would never have a "normal" live again...

Normal is always changing, by the way!

Happy for your little family!

Melana

Marla Taviano said...

Congratulations, BIG BOY!! (and Mom and Dad) Isn't that the hugest relief in all the world?

Angela said...

I am so glad everything is working out. It amazes me that God even cares about the small details that we face. Prayer even works for potty training! ;-)
Kudos to Curtis...what a great idea!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

yea!!! yea!!! yea!!!

Laura said...

And I am so sure that God heard those desperate prayers of real and authentic parents! Congrats on the success!! Way to go, Jackson!!

Amy Storms said...

You are such a good mother. My kids are 36 months apart, and my oldest is a boy...he was the hardest one for me to potty train. He, I am sad to say, was still in diapers when my third baby was born. (He had just turned 3.) And the price of three kids in diapers motivated me to train him immediately! :) Anyway...just wanted to say that I feel your pain, having a three-year-old in diapers. And good for you for getting him out!

The "rest" time did wonders for us, too. Isn't that funny? Then we graduated to "quiet play" and now just "room time". The point is...I still get my quiet time. :)

No idea why I'm telling you all this :), except that I just related to it all, and I think you're doing a great job. Blessings to your sweet family!

Amazing Racer said...

Amanda,

I have a 4 year old in pull ups (because he doesn't fit in diapers). And it ain't pretty.

Granted, he has some sensory issues that prevented him from potty training earlier, but truly the only reason I don't have a meltdown about it every.single.day. is because I was inspired by an excerpt on Henri Nouwen's life. That has kept me leaning on Jesus to serve my son in this area. But it's definitely not easy. Congrats to Jackson's big accomplishments!!!

Misty M. said...

Well, coming from a mom of a non-potty trained 3 year old. Congratulations!!!!!!! I haven't been brave enough to do naps with no diapers. You are inspiring! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now! I too have a baby in diapers also and the comparison is really crazy.
Thanks for sharing! I gotta get busy and catch up with you guys now!

creative gal said...

YEAH!!!!

Marc and Charity said...

Congratulations on the potty training success!!! We have "rest time" in our house too, every day!

Me, well I've given up on potty training Bailey. It was just too much with a newborn! I will try again afer our TX trip.

Spicy Magnolia said...

This is wonderful...definitely reason to go out and celebrate! :) Rejoicing with you!

Lauren said...

I really needed to hear that message today about how being consistent will pay off. We are dealing with some beginner tantrums, believe it or not--ALREADY!

The Barfuss Family said...

Yeah for progress!!! I know that is such a relief for you. :)

Lauren Kelly said...

YAY for being potty trained!!!!! Jackson is turning into such a big boy!!! :O)

JottinMama said...

I have a 2.5 year old and a baby girl due this summer - and I must confess that I am totally stressing out about this whole potty training thing. It hasn't been going well!

Oh Lord, help me.

I'm so glad Jackson is officially potty trained, though! Awesome!

Praying about the Potty,
Kate :)

Jennifer said...

Your Jackson reminds me so much of my son, who will be 10 in 6 weeks. Angel child, but when he went on a tear: watch out! I would take it personally and feel so defeated... but that passion that has been evident since he was a toddler (and caused us so much grief) has started to have its golden moments. Hang in there. God formed our children and gave them their personalities and then made us their parents FOR A PURPOSE. Our job is to pray for them and mold them as best we can, by His grace.
ANYWHOOO: what I really wanted to comment on was the toy issue. We found, with our oldest (same almost 10yo) that what worked best for playdates was for him to choose toys that he could not abide sharing, and put them away. If he didn't want others to play with them, then he needed to also not play with them. Anything that was left out in the playroom was "fair game." Also, we tried using the "when you're finished with that, may I have a turn?" approach to sharing and most of the time, it worked like a charm!
Lastly, the friends who love you, know that you and Jackson are not perfect...and they love you for it.
Hang in there and God bless you!
jennifer

Audrey and Company said...

Yeah Jackson!

ThirtysomethingMom said...

Amanda,
Thank you for sharing. I am rejoicing with you over your victories. Praise be to the Lord who cares about every little detail of our lives. I am reading the Power of a Praying parent. It has helped me so much. Our Father really does what us to pray about everything and he is able to deliever us from our "troubles".

Have a wonderful blessed day!!!

connorcolesmom said...

So glad things are going well
We also changed our "nap time" to "rest time" a few years ago
It does really work :)
Blessings
Kim

Rebecca said...

Amanda,

I am so happy to hear about your successes with the Mister! I'm a regular Baby Bangs reader, but not a commenter...sorry, it's intimidating sometimes. However, I have a son the same age at Jackson right down to the February birthday. My Noah is not potty trained yet and I hear you loud and clear about how "wrong" it is to be changing a 3 year old's diaper. I've resorted to clothespins on my nose and those yellow dishwashing gloves on my hands at times! However, Noah has a speech impairment and we have struggled daily on the most basic of things such as potty training, sleep training, and DISCIPLINE. I swear if my son says, "No, mine" (coincidentally the only words he speaks with real clarity other than ma, cow, and dog) I am going to throw myself from a cliff. It's very hard as a parent to spend your day in the throes of such disciplining. Ugh.

I have a daughter who's 19 months who talks circles around my son and another little one arriving in November...I need to get Noah potty trained and sleep trained by then.

I have a lot of praying to do...

Michelle said...

praise the Lord! I love hearing your wisdom in parenting! Since my little boy is only 7 months old it gives me ideas for what is to come. Thanks for being such a blessing. Your kids are adorable!

lavonda said...

Congrats!
All good stuff!

Every little milestone is so precious.

Bobbie said...

Congratulations to Jackson! AND WhooHoo to you and Curtis. It can seem like forever with boys, for some reason our daughter was potty trained in 3 days! They didn't have pull-ups when our kids were little, but we took her night diaper off one morning and made it a really big deal (special pancakes and a trip to the zoo to celebrate her big girl day) and put her in little girl cotton panties. And, trust me, cotton doesn't absorb at all! She had one accident before we left for the zoo, and one the next two mornings and that was it. I can still see her little face when she realized she needed to go!

You and Curtis are awesome parents! Remember to take your "stress breaks" (date nights).
It won't seem so bad. I'm sure your Mom will take the babies anytime to give you that time. Bibby's are great for that!

Sharon said...

PRAISE GOD, Amanda!! :-)

Much love,
Sharon, NC

Nancy Mon said...

This is all good to read. Glad the crisis and chaos of it all is diminishing.

Lindsee said...

Way to go, Jackson! (And Curtis!)

P.S. Who did a great job on Sunday. I really enjoyed it! (The story from the beginning still makes me laugh. Bless y'all!)

Sam McClure said...

Congratulations!!! It is such a huge milestone to be potty trained! We do the "rest time" thing as well and it works wonders. It makes for such a better day for all of us! You are a great mom!

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

We do "Rest Time" at our house and it is so much easier to handle. Lately, Carter has not been going to sleep, but he does lay there and is quiet until he is able to get up.

Hip Hip Hooray for all of Jackson's wonderful accomplishments this past week!

Tara said...

Praise the Lord! Way to go, Jackson!

Heather said...

Way to go Jackson! And to you and your hubby too!

Gina said...

Potty training was one of the hardest things I ever had to do! So glad you are having success. If it helps any- I found in my family that the girl was easier (or maybe I was just more experienced).
Just heard the podcast of your hubby preaching at FBH last Sunday. What a gem, he can preach and potty train. You got a good one!

kittyhox said...

I needed to read your good news today. We have been potty training forEVER and I've gotten pretty discouraged lately. The book I read when he was two promised that he was capable of potty training at that age and here he is, two months shy of three and still with the big boy poopies in the pull-ups. YUCK! Our five month old is in cloth diapers with her lovely breastfeed diaper changes and I just can't deal with the pull-ups anymore! We're on a potty training break (one of many) after a few poopies on the FLOOR. Not. cool.
I'm starting to lose hope that he'll ever go #2 on the potty (other than mini tootsie rolls) or that my daughter will ever sleep longer than three hours, but that's another subject.
So anyway, your good news is timely and is giving me hope that things will get better.
Congratulations! I'm glad we both have daughters to potty train next because they're supposed to be a bit easier.

Landon Andrew said...

Big boy Jackson! SO proud of him! No worries about the potty training thing though...my Mom always reminds me not to worry about it because Landon won't be 10 years old and still in diapers. So, that is my motto. One day at a time. Landon is still not potty trained, but that's okay because he won't be in diapers at the age of 10, right? :-)

Teri~Facedown said...

You are Curt are doing an awesome job in your parenting! It brings me such joy to read all of your praises!

~ Laurie said...

We use the 'rest time, but you must lay still and be quiet' EVERY day! Still works with my 5 yo! YEAH!!!!


You have inspired me to start training my son. I'm tired of changing his diapers...(he's 2-1/2) I'm SOOOO with you!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

We have "rest time" too. My one year old sleeps for two hours while her three year old sister "rests" in her own room, if rest means "singing, reading, dropping books off the bed, and talking to dolls until she passes out stone cold." ;) I thought I'd have a meltdown those first few months of having a just-turned-two year old and a newborn--but it is so much better now...they both sleep. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

balmingilead said...

I like the idea of "rest time". I will try it with my 2 1/2 year old...congrats on the potty training. We, too, are officially trained finally except for at night.
Hope you are getting some "rest time" too!
Amy

courtney said...

In regard to the "Nap Crisis of 2009," at least he's regular...

sweet victory ;)

katiegfromtennessee said...

Yay, Little Momma, the Lord brought progress with Jackson!!! He is growing up into a little man:) These are great potty training and nap tips to remember! Seriously:) Bless your precious hearts!:)

katiegfromtennessee